Wet Nose Wednesday: Rich

Every Wednesday at 8:40, Guardian Angel Pet Rescue joins the Mike and Mandy show to showcase a special animal that needs a good home.

This week’s featured pet is Rich!

Rich

Rich is a 9 pound, 2 year old male Shih Tzu/Chihuahua. He was purchased at a flea market and is a sweet love bug. Rich gets along with other dogs but is alpha. He is heartworm negative, Current on vaccinations, neutered and microchipped. Rich is missing one front leg but gets along just fine. If you are looking for a young sweet dog then you have found him.

If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.


For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here
.

We couldn’t do Wet Nose Wednesday without the generous support of our sponsor, Dixie Memorial Pet Cemetery.

Freak Files: Wednesday, 5/27/15

A Man in Kenya Is Offering a Dowry of 70 Sheep, and 30 Goats for Malia Obama’s Hand in Marriage

Felix Kiprono, from Kenya, is offering a massive dowry for Malia Obama’s hand in marriage, including 70 sheep, 50 cows, and 30 goats.

Malia is only 16. It’s unclear how old Felix is, but he’s a lawyer with a huge amount of livestock, so he probably has a few years on her.

Felix hopes to make his offer to President Obama personally when he visits Kenya in July, and he insists his love is “real”. He says he’ll teach Malia how to milk a cow, and cook traditional porridge and sour milk like other woman there.

Felix claims he’s been interested in Malia since 2008. She was NINE at the time. But remember, other cultures have different customs.

 

A Guy Robs a Store Wearing a Jersey With His Name on the Back

We love our Stupid Criminals stories and there common mistakes like leaving their wallet and ID behind when they try to rob a liquor store, or a burglar breaks into someone’s home and logs on to his Facebook account using their computer!!

Well how about a guy who robs a store wearing a jersey with HIS NAME ON THE BACK??

24-year-old Paul Benson of Belfast, Northern Ireland robbed a grocery store earlier this year. And he must’ve forgotten he was wearing a Manchester United soccer jersey . . . that he’d customized with his OWN NAME on the back.

When the police were looking at the surveillance footage, they got a clear shot of “Benson” on the back of his jersey, and were able to link the robbery to him.

Stupid Criminals!!!

He just pleaded guilty to theft, and got 12 months of probation.

 

72,000 Ladybugs Released In School For Senior Prank

A group of high school students in Maryland were arrested for a senior prank that released 72,000 ladybugs into their school.

Five suspects wearing masks and hooded sweatshirts broke into Chopticon High School in Morganza, Maryland and released about 72,000 ladybugs they had ordered from the Internet.

The police were able to ID the suspects by tracing the internet purchase because, it’s not every day someone buys 72,000 lady bugs on the internet!!!

The suspects were charged with 4th degree burglary, property destruction and disruption of school activities. They were released into the custody of their parents.

Dirt Alert: Wednesday, 5/27/15

Christina Aguilera Is Out, Shakira Is Back In!

CHRISTINA AGUILERA’s divalicious demeanor could cost her a sweet gig!

Our sources tell us that Christina is extremely difficult to work with on “The Voice,” is quite demanding, she takes forever in hair and makeup, and has a really bad attitude.

Word is staffers are lobbying to bring back GWEN STEFANI or SHAKIRA and Christina’s act is “getting old.”

 

Katy Perry and John Mayer Went to Disneyland Together

It looks like it’s officially back on for KATY PERRY and JOHN MAYER.

They went to Disneyland together over Memorial Day weekend . . . and there are pictures to prove it. Witnesses say they went on several rides together, but John skipped Space Mountain while Katy rode with friends. They were there all day, and didn’t leave until around midnight.

John and Katy have dated on and off since 2012.

 

Advertisers are Starting to Leave “19 Kids and Counting”

Payless shoes, Walgreens, and Choice Hotels have canceled advertising on “19 Kids and Counting”, after General Mills did the same last week.

The show is still on hiatus while TLC tries to figure out what to do in the wake of revelations that 27-year-old JOSH DUGGAR molested several underage girls, including his sisters, when he was a teenager.

 

Ryan Seacrest Is Hosting a New Fox Reality Show

With “American Idol” on its way out, RYAN SEACREST has lined up a new hosting gig. It’s a Fox reality show called “Knock Knock Live” . . . and it sounds like a juiced up version of Publishers Clearing House.

Each week, Ryan’s crew shows up at someone’s front door, and offers them a chance to either win a big cash prize . . . meet their favorite celebrity . . . or, quote, “turn their dreams into reality.”

Some examples include: Someone’s favorite NBA player challenges them to a game in their driveway, or someone’s favorite musical artist performs a concert on their front lawn. The show premieres on July 21st.

Dirt Alert: Tuesday, 5/26/15

TLC Has Pulled “19 Kids and Counting” For Now

TLC has pulled “19 Kids and Counting” from its schedule, thanks to the new revelation that 27-year-old JOSH DUGGAR molested five underage girls when he was a teenager, including his own sisters.

TLC faced a lot of shame and negative comments online because it was airing a “19 Kids” MARATHON.

There’s no word if or when the show will be back.

 

B.B. King’s Daughters Claim He Was Poisoned By Manager

B.B. King’s daughters, Patty King and Karen Williams, are alleging in court documents that their father’s business manager, LaVerne Toney, and his assistant poisoned their dad to death.

In the past, King’s daughters accused Toney and his assistant of elder abuse and swindling more than $20 million from his estate. The Clark County Coroner confirmed that an autopsy was performed, but that test results will not be available for up to two months.

The Las Vegas Police Department has confirmed that homicide detectives are looking into the allegations as well.

 

Art Garfunkel Says Paul Simon Was a “Jerk” for Going Solo

It’s been 45 YEARS since SIMON & GARFUNKEL split . . . and since then, their relationship has been up and down.

In a new interview with “The Telegraph”, ART GARFUNKEL says he still can’t understand how PAUL SIMON walked away at the height of their success. He says, quote, “It was very strange. [It’s] nothing I would’ve done . . . I don’t want to say any anti-Paul Simon things, but it seems very perverse to not enjoy the glory and walk away from it instead. Crazy.

Then, as if addressing Paul, he adds, quote, “How can you walk away from this lucky place on top of the world, Paul? What’s going on with you, you idiot? How could you let that go, jerk?”

Those last lines came right after Art talked about how he’s felt stuck in the same place for decades, and how he’s basically just waiting around hoping that they will tour together again.

Freak Files: Tuesday, 5/26/15

A Man Named Bacon Is Arrested For Fighting Over Sausage

Well this guy just found a way to guarantee people laugh at his last name even MORE than they used to.

19-year-old Thomas Bacon of Madison, New Jersey was arrested a few weeks ago for getting into a fight . . . over SAUSAGE. According to the police, Bacon got into an argument with someone else in his house about who was going to get to eat a piece of sausage, and wound up attacking them.

He was arrested for simple assault.

 

Mugshot77A Woman Fakes a Robbery by Bashing Herself in the Head with a Bowling Ball . . . But Forgets There’s a Security Camera

A 30-year-old woman named Jamie Gordon works at a bowling alley in Decatur, Illinois. And last Thursday, one of her co-workers found her lying on the floor.

She told the cops someone snuck up behind her, bashed her in the head with a red bowling ball, and stole $2,100 from the safe. And she had a huge knot on the back of her head to prove it. But somehow, she forgot about the SECURITY cameras.

When police checked the footage, it clearly showed Jamie bashing HERSELF in the head with a bowling ball. Then she laid down on the ground for 13 minutes, and waited for the other employee to find her there.

Once they told her what was on the video, she admitted SHE stole the money. But when they asked for it back, she only had about $440 left . . . because she blew the rest on the bowling alley’s slot machines.

Stupid Criminals!!!

She was due in court last Friday, but it’s not clear what the charges are.

 

Woman Uses Her Obituary To Defend Tom Brady

A 72-year-old woman’s loved ones fulfilled her dying wish to convey a final message about Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and the “deflategate” scandal in her obituary.

Patricia M. Shong, of Auburn, Massachusetts, died last week surrounded by family. Her obituary says she enjoyed knitting, weekly card night with the ladies and spending time with her family.

It also says, quote, “She would also like us to set the record straight for her. Brady is innocent!!”

Meanwhile, Tom Brady is appealing his 4-game suspension after the NFL ruled that he had a role in the deflation of the team’s footballs. Patriots owner Robert Kraft announced last week that the team would not appeal the penalties levied against it.

Dirt Alert: Friday, 5/22/15

Kim Kardashian Dares You to Work as Hard as She Does

KIM KARDASHIAN was asked about her haters, and how she responds to them.

She said she’s particularly bothered by people who don’t think she works. Her response is, quote, “Do everything that I’ve done in my career and see if [you] end up where I’m at. Try it. Just try it. I dare you.”

 

The Who Stopped a Show to Complain About Pot Smoking

THE WHO stopped a show in Long Island on Wednesday to complain about the excessive amount of marijuana smoke that was wafting up to the stage.

ROGER DALTREY threatened to end the show early if they didn’t stop. So, is this a case of some old fogies being hypocritical about a vibe they used to participate in? Not really.

In the past, Roger has said that while he used to smoke pot, he’s developed a severe allergy to cigarette and marijuana smoke, and it can completely shut down his voice. And now, the crowd is asked not to smoke at Who shows.

 

“Letterman’s” Finale Drew His Biggest Audience In Decades

DAVID LETTERMAN’S last episode of “The Late Show” drew nearly 13.8 million viewers on Wednesday night.

That’s his biggest audience in two decades!   Several other notable episodes came close: 13.5 million people tuned in when Dave finally had OPRAH on so they could end their “feud” . . . and 11.7 million people watched Dave’s first episode back after having heart surgery in February of 2000.

However, Dave’s finale’ fell about 800,000 viewers short of the audience for JAY LENO’S goodbye on “The Tonight Show” last year.

Freak Files: Friday, 5/22/15

Stupid Criminals Picks The Wrong Woman To Attack

A man in England picked the wrong woman to attack.

39-year-old Mark Willis jumped out from behind a bush and attacked an un-named woman. What Mark didn’t know is that the woman had been taking kickboxing lessons for 2 years, and wasted no time kicking his butt!!!

She cursed him out, then tried to break his arm with an arm lock. That didn’t work, so she put him in a scissor-like hold around his neck until he passed out. Then, she called the cops.

Mark was just convicted of assault, and the judge ordered that he pay $785 paid to the woman in restitution.

 

Champion Liar Tells a Great Story To Win A Lying Contest

Here’s a guy from Burlington, Wis. Gordon Zwicky’s outrageous tale about his trip to Florida earned him top honors in this year’s Burlington Liars Club contest.

Zwicky, who’s 72, beat out 299 other entries from 31 states and Canada. Zwicky claimed he and his wife, Dorothy, won the lottery and decided to drive to Florida. Their neighbor told them they would be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs.

Thirty miles from home they saw a sign that said, ‘Clean Restrooms Ahead.’ Two months later they arrived in Florida,’ the tale read. By that time, they had cleaned 450 restrooms using 267 rolls of paper towels, three cases of bowl cleaner and 86 bottles of Windex.

They were so tired, they immediately left for home.

 

Don’t Blame Me, I’m a Faux Canadian!

It’s no secret. People around the world hate American tourists. So if you want to travel abroad but don’t want to be tagged as an American, try this.

A New Mexico T-shirt company suggests going Canadian. For $24.95, T-Shirt-King-dot-com offers a “Go Canadian” package that includes a Canadian flag T-shirt, a Canadian flag lapel pin and a Canadian patch for luggage or a backpack.

The “Go Canadian” idea emerged after a staffer had heard about someone being harassed about U-S politics during a recent overseas trip.

Freak Files: Thursday, 5/21/15

An Update On the Man Arrested For Saving An Overheated Dog!

An army veteran in Georgia who smashed a car’s windows to save a trapped dog is now off the hook.

Authorities have dropped charges against 46-year-old MICHAEL HAMMONS who broke the glass of a Mustang convertible to save an overheated Yorkshire terrier in a mall parking lot.

The owner of the vehicle demanded that cops arrest Hammons, which they did. But the district attorney for the Superior Court of Athens-Clarke County dropped all charges Monday.

 

Another Follow-Up: The Guy Who Was Busted For Having 17 Girlfriends Has Been Arrested For Fraud

Remember the guy in China who got into a car accident last month, and was busted for having SEVENTEEN girlfriends when they all showed up at the hospital?

That was the first time they all found out about each other. Well, now it turns out he wasn’t just messing with their emotions . . . he was also messing with their MONEY.

Ever since his girlfriends busted him, they’ve been in a chat room together that they made called the “Revenge Alliance.” And they figured out that he’d been borrowing money from most of them and never paying it back.

So, he was just arrested for fraud.

His name is Yuan. Click here to see his photo.

 

A Girl’s Sweet 16 Is Ruined When It Starts Raining Human Waste

There’s a girl named Jacinda Cambray in Levittown, Pennsylvania, and she had her sweet 16 birthday party on Sunday night.

Everything was going great until it started raining. Not your normal kind of rain though. Apparently a plane was flying overhead and emptied out its waste . . . which showered down on the 40 people at the party.

Luckily, everyone at the party was under a canopy, you know, one of those big party tents that you can rent. However, the “rain” still made quite a mess.

There were about five planes flying in the area at the time, and the FAA is still trying to figure out which one dropped its waste over Jacinda’s party. They aren’t allowed to do that, by the way. Airplanes have to get rid of their waste at airports.

Click here to see some pictures of the party.

 

Dirt Alert: Thursday, 5/21/15

Letterman’s Last “Late Show” Included an All-Star Top 10 List

DAVID LETTERMAN signed off for good last night with a show that was heavy on clips from his last 30-odd years on TV.

But one of the highlights was an all-star list of the “Top 10 Things I’ve Always Wanted to Say to Dave”. It was delivered by, in this order, Alec Baldwin, Barbara Walters, Steve Martin, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Peyton Manning, Tina Fey, and Bill Murray.

The show started with video of the late President Gerald Ford saying, quote, “My fellow Americans, our long, national nightmare is over.” Then all the LIVING presidents said it, ending with PRESIDENT OBAMA, who added, quote, “Letterman is retiring.” Then Letterman walked into the frame and said, quote, “You’re just kidding, right?” (Here’s video.)

Letterman’s final monologue started with a killer joke: “So it’s beginning to look like I’m not going to get the ‘Tonight Show’.” The FOO FIGHTERS closed out the night with “Everlong” . . . the song he asked them to play for his first show back from quintuple-bypass surgery in 2000.

 

Are Jay Z and Beyoncé Separating?

Here’s some pretty juicy tabloid trash for you! “In Touch Weekly” claim JAY Z and BEYONCÉ are separating.

A “source” says, quote, “Things have been terrible for a long time. Beyoncé wants a trial separation.”

The source says that they’ve tried therapy, but it isn’t working. Apparently, Jay Z has been cheating and Beyoncé is fed up with it, so she’s “moving away.”

 

Man Who Burglarized Miley Cyrus’ Home Serving Two Years In Jail

The man who broke into Miley Cyrus’ home and stole her stuff has been sentenced to 2 years in jail.

Rusty Sellner pleaded no contest back in February to first-degree residential burglary for breaking into Miley’s house last December.

Although Rusty has been sentenced to 2 years in state prison, a judge gave him credit for the 270 days he already served. Rusty originally faced a maximum of 7 years and 8 months, if convicted on all charges.

Wet Nose Wednesday: Helena

Every Wednesday at 8:40, Guardian Angel Pet Rescue joins the Mike and Mandy show to showcase a special animal that needs a good home.

This week’s featured pet is Helena!

Helena-05-20-2015

Helena is a female 10 week old kitten that weighs 1.4 pounds and is the runt of the litter. She is very sweet, cuddly and loves to be held. Helena is from a litter of 9 and is Redford’s sister. Helena has had her first set of shots and has been dewormed. She came from a home with several indoor cats that have all been altered now. She can be viewed at Petco on Poplar in Germantown.
If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.


For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here
.

We couldn’t do Wet Nose Wednesday without the generous support of our sponsor, Dixie Memorial Pet Cemetery.

Dirt Alert: Wednesday, 5/20/15

George Clooney Says Amal Left Him Hanging When He Proposed

Most women wouldn’t have to think about it if GEORGE CLOONEY proposed to them. But AMAL ALAMUDDIN apparently isn’t most women.

In an interview with “CBS This Morning”, George says he “dropped it on her” when he proposed, quote, “We’d never talked about it . . . there wasn’t like a, ‘Maybe we should get married’ [conversation].”

What he did was he got down on one knee. He says, quote, “I asked her, and she just kept saying, ‘Oh my, God,’ and ‘Wow,’ and we just sat there. And finally, I just said, ‘Listen, I’m 53, I’ve been on my knee for about 28 minutes so I gotta get an answer out of this because I’m gonna throw a hip out! I might not be able to stand back up.'”

 

Beyoncé Emptied an Expensive Bottle of Champagne Into a Hot Tub for a Music Video, and People Are Upset

NICKI MINAJ and BEYONCÉ have released a new video for “Feeling Myself” on Tidal . . . and there’s a picture going around from the filming, where Beyoncé empties an expensive bottle of champagne into a hot tub.

It’s a bottle of Armand de Brignac, a.k.a. ‘Ace of Spades’ . . . and a single bottle could cost anywhere from $300 to HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of dollars. It’s unclear how expensive the one in the video is, but people freaked out online about it, saying things like: Quote, “Beyoncé, pouring my college tuition fees into a hot tub”, and, quote, “Even just $1,000 could have completely changed someone’s life, like someone finally being able to eat lunch. So seeing her pour out a $20,000 bottle into a pool is a slap in the face.”

For what it’s worth, Jay Z owns that champagne, so it’s likely nobody paid for it. After all, if publicity is what they were looking for, it’s clearly working.

 

KFC Is Bringing Back Colonel Sanders

KFC just announced they’re bringing back Colonel Sanders.

He’ll be in their new TV commercials starting Monday, in honor of KFC’s 75th anniversary. The original Colonel Sanders wasn’t a character, he was a real businessman named Harland Sanders, and he started Kentucky Fried Chicken. Unfortunately he died in 1980.

So for the new ad campaign, he’ll be played by Darrell Hammond from “Saturday Night Live”. He’s the guy who does Bill Clinton, and Sean Connery in the ‘Celebrity Jeopardy’ skits with Will Ferrell.

Freak Files: Wednesday, 5/20/15

There’s a Cell Phone the Size of a Credit Card, and It Only Makes Calls

For the past ten years, it’s been a race to see just how many features could be packed into a cell phone. Until now.

There’s a product up on Kickstarter right now called the Light Phone, and it’s the exact OPPOSITE of your current smart phone. It’s the size of a credit card, it fits in your wallet, and it only has ONE function: Phone calls.

It won’t text, email, tweet, play games, or stream movies. It just lets you make and receive phone calls.

It works like a prepaid cell phone, so you pay to load up the SIM card with minutes. You can also leave your regular phone at home and have it forward calls to your Light Phone, so you never miss an important call.

You can get it for $100 by going to Kickstarter.com and searching for “light phone.” Unfortunately they won’t be ready to ship until a year from now.

We have some pics of the Light Phone…just click here.

 

Stupid Criminal: Man Calls 911 To Report That Wife Stole His Cocaine

39-year old Robert Collins, of Alliance, Ohio isn’t exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer…because last week he called 9-1-1 to report that his wife had….STOLEN HIS COCAINE!!!

Well, after the police stopped laughing, they finally showed up at their house and found Robert, who was also wanted on a warrant for failing to pay fines on a previous case.

Robert didn’t have any cocaine on him….probably because his wife stole it…but he did have a glass pipe and some marijuana, so he was arrested.

Stupid Criminals!!!

He could face up to 60 days in jail and $500 in fines.

 

When We Do Finally Meet Aliens, They’ll Be the Size of Bears

A mathematician and cosmologist at the University of Barcelona in Spain ran the numbers, and he says there’s a very high probability that the first aliens we meet will be the size of BEARS.

He says the majority of planets that could support life would be smaller than Earth. They’d have fewer living creatures than we do, and the ones that could potentially travel to other planets would be about 692 pounds.

Of course, this whole thing is based on a LOT of assumptions, theories, and probabilities. The odds just say that an alien would be pretty bit, so try to look surprised.