A Drunk Guy Was Busted for Giving a Cop a Double Wet Willy
A cop was standing on the street, talking to a bus driver near a bar in Mankato, Minnesota, just outside Minneapolis.
The bar down the street had just closed, so 24-year-old Riley Swearingen, who was intoxicated, decided to get a good laugh with some friends and sneaked up behind the cop . . . and gave him a WET WILLY.
More specifically, Riley went with a DOUBLE wet willy . . . meaning he put a finger in BOTH of the cop’s ears at the same time.
And if the cop wasn’t sure Riley did it, he was a few seconds later . . . when he clearly heard him yell to his friends that he, quote, “just gave [that] cop a WET WILLY!”
Initially, they charged with him “assaulting a police officer with bodily fluids,” which is a FELONY. But after three days in jail, a judge let him plead guilty to disruptive intoxication instead. So he ended up paying $77 in court costs.
A Guy Shoplifted a Bunch of Stuff from Walmart . . . Because He Didn’t Want to Wait in Line
Never go to Walmart during PEAK shopping hours . . . because apparently it can drive you so nuts, you’ll start breaking the LAW.
A 74-year-old named Clayton Lampe was at a Walmart in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. And the checkout lines were really long. So instead of waiting . . . he decided to just STEAL everything.
One of the employees saw him walk out with $300 worth of stuff.
When police got there, Clayton explained that he hates to wait in lines, and THAT’S why he decided to shoplift. He said he does it ALL THE TIME, and there’s never been a problem before.
He was arrested for shoplifting.
A Vet Saved a Cat’s Life by Giving It a Bottle of Vodka
Last Tuesday, Sara in England realized someone had dumped anti-freeze all over her CAT, which
is a big deal, because anti-freeze is extremely TOXIC to cats, and can shut down their kidneys. So Sara rushed her to a vet, where luckily they knew that all Missy needed was a substantial amount of VODKA.
Apparently the ethanol in vodka neutralizes the poison in the anti-freeze. So they hooked her up to an I.V. of vodka. Within a few minutes, Missy was pretty drunk . . . but she also SURVIVED.
Luckily, Missy fully recovered, and she’s back home.
(Check out a photo of Sara and Missy by clicking here)