Freak Files: Friday, 12/19/14

Morons on Parade:

A video is going viral featuring a guy falling off a treadmill because he was distracted by a cute girl.

The unidentified jogger can be seen losing his concentration as the woman walks behind his treadmill. Then, his feet are swept out from under him and he lands on the floor face down –while the lady watches.

The funniest part is him trying to play it off at the end by pretending like he’s on the floor doing pushups. Click here for the video.

 

Bad Santa

Police say a 51-year-old man in a Santa suit was caught climbing to the top of Glasgow’s iconic statue of the DUKE OF WELLINGTON.

The statue is a life-sized likeness of the Duke on a horse.  Santa allegedly sat on the horse, right behind the Duke, and waved to passersby.

Firefighters eventually showed up with a ladder and forced him down.  A police spokeswoman was sure to tell the media that the man was not the real Santa.

 

A Drunk Driving Suspect Tries to Say the Alphabet, and Says “A-B-C-D . . . I’m Gonna Kill All Ya’ll”

If you’re going to botch a sobriety test, might as well go down BIG, I guess?

A 30-year-old guy named Kong Vue from La Crosse, Wisconsin was driving under the influence on Sunday, and crashed his car into a street lamp.

When the cops got there, they gave him one of the easiest field sobriety tests there is:  They had him recite the alphabet.

And he said, quote, “A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-G-K-I’m gonna kill all ya’ll.”

The cops decided that was a FAILURE on the test, and he was arrested.

Stupid Criminals!!!

He blew a .188 on the breathalyzer, which is more than twice the legal limit. This is his 4th DUI!

Dirt Alert: Friday, 12/19/14

Brad Pitt Reports For Jury Duty

BRAD PITT is a fine American. The UK’s Daily Mail reports the A-lister showed up for jury duty last Friday and waited hours to be dismissed. Sources say the father of six actually wanted to serve on a short case, but was given his walking papers on the grounds that his fame would be too much of a distraction.

 

It Is On Between Rosie O’Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg

Lotsa shouting yesterday on “The View,” when WHOOPI GOLDBERG and ROSIE O’DONNELL went at each other and were screaming to get their points across.

The discussion was about President BARACK and First Lady MICHELLE OBAMA’s recent statements that they’ve been mistaken for the help and whether such instances are a product of racism or stupidity.

 

Kris And Bruce Jenner Are Officially Divorced

An L.A. county judge has signed the documents that finalized Kris and Bruce Jenner’s divorce.

The couple didn’t have a pre-nup but they agreed to let Kris have the house and then divided up the bank accounts and other assets.

Kris and Bruce first announced their split in June 2013 and Kris officially filed for divorce last September.

 

Stevie Wonder is A Dad!

Stevie Wonder and his girlfriend Tomeeka Robyn welcomed their baby daughter Nia.

The baby marks the couple’s second together.

This is the 9th child for Stevie Wonder, who has had children with 5 different women!

 

Dirt Alert: Thursday, 12/18/14

 

Did Justin Bieber Get Turned Down Because He Looks Like Ellen DeGeneres in Real Life? 

JUSTIN BIEBER’s new, platinum hairdo isn’t helping his LOVE GAME.

The “New York Post” says Justin tried to hit on a woman at the Fresh Corn Grill in West Hollywood and she turned him down, saying he looks like ELLEN DEGENERES in person.

Justin wasn’t happy to hear that, obviously, but there’s no word if he said anything back to her.

 

Sony Has Canceled the Release of “The Interview” . . . And North Korea Really IS to Blame 

U.S. officials have determined that North Korea orchestrated the massive hack and release of sensitive documents.  And they’re calling the attack, quote, “far more destructive than any seen before on American soil.”

PRESIDENT OBAMA’S only statement so far is that people should still go to the movies.

But Sony pulled “The Interview” yesterday.  And they said they currently have no plans to release it in ANY format, including Video on Demand.

 

Celebs Chime-In On Sony’s Movie Move. . .

Sony’s announcement to cancel “The Interview” is widely seen as a cowardly, dangerous precedent to set.

The decision has set off a firestorm on Twitter….including tweets like this one from Rob Lowe…. “Wow. Everyone caved. The hackers won. An utter and complete victory for them. Wow.”…..and this one from Jimmy Kimmel:  “It’s an un-American act of cowardice that validates terrorist actions and sets a terrifying precedent.”

 

Kim Kardashian Has Accepted Offer To Hang With Saudi Royalty – For a Million Bucks!

It’s no secret that Kim Kardashian knows how to make money for doing nothing, so this isn’t too surprising.

Kim has accepted a $1-million-dollar offer to hang out with a royal from Saudi Arabia for one night in January.

Freak Files: Thursday, 12-18-14

Remember the Guy Looking For a Girl With the Same Name As His Ex?  He Found a Match

There was a story last month about a 28-year-old guy in Toronto named Jordan who got DUMPED by his girlfriend . . . right after he’d booked them plane tickets for a trip around the world.

Jordan didn’t want the tickets to go to waste, so he decided to look for a woman with the SAME NAME as his ex . . . Elizabeth Gallagher.  She also had to have a Canadian passport, and she didn’t even have to hang out with him.

Well . . . Jordan got thousands of emails from women, including EIGHTEEN Elizabeth Gallaghers in Canada.

He just decided to give the tickets to a 23-year-old Elizabeth Gallagher from Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia.  Yes, she’s attractive.  But she also has a serious BOYFRIEND, who was apparently cool with her traveling the world for a month with a random dude?

They’ll meet in New York today for the first time, then head to Milan, Italy . . . Vienna, Austria . . . Prague, Paris, Bangkok . . . and Delhi, India.  They get home January 12th.

Click here for pictures of Jordan and the Elizabeth he found.

 

Man Fakes Heart Attack So Partner Can Steal Toys

Tarus Scott and Genard Dupree were arrested Tuesday after a surveillance camera in a Wal-Mart in Lake Wales, Florida, captured one of them faking a heart attack so the other one could steal a Barbie car and other toys.

The video shows the suspects walking through the store together. Suddenly, Genard lays down on the ground near the entrance as he clutches his chest and pretends to have a heart attack.

When other shoppers tried to help Genard, Tarus allegedly helped himself to $369 worth of toys, including a motorized power wheel Barbie car, a Leap Frog tablet, and a Barbie Glam vacation house.

Once Tarus was out of the store, Genard got up, brushed himself off and walked out as well.

Security guards obviously thought that was a little suspicious and called the cops.  The cops tracked them down and busted them!!!

 

A Guy Uses Tinder to Find the Woman Who Robbed Him

David Petersen of San Francisco is the founder of a startup and earlier this year, a woman broke into his offices and stole about 15 MacBook Pro computers, seven iPads, and a few other things.  All in all, she stole at least $30,000 worth of stuff.

David found the cops weren’t particularly helpful . . . even though he had a clear surveillance video shot of the woman’s face.  So . . . he decided to handle it himself.

He set up a profile on TINDER for the thief, put up the surveillance camera shot of her, and added text that said, quote, “I rob offices in SF.  $5,000 reward for identifying me.”

He figured that with the amount of people looking at profiles on Tinder, SOMEONE would recognize the thief . . . and someone did.  They gave David her name and another photo that matched her.

He turned that over to the cops . . . they say the investigation is still ongoing.

Click here to see what he put on Tinder.

Wet Nose Wednesday: Sylvester

Every Wednesday at 8:40, Guardian Angel Pet Rescue joins the Mike and Mandy show to showcase a special animal that needs a good home.

This week’s featured pet is Sylvester.

Sylvester

Sylvester is a black and white three month old male kitten. He was abandoned at a veterinarian clinic and recently became a GAPR foster. Sylvester has been tested for kitty diseases (all negative) and had his first set of shots. He is a sweet young boy that gets along well with others and can’t wait to have a home for Christmas!

If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.


For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here
.

We couldn’t do Wet Nose Wednesday without the generous support of our sponsor, Dixie Memorial Pet Cemetery.

Dirt Alert: Wednesday, 12/17/14

Joey Fatone Says Jessica Biel is Pregnant 

It’s semi-official:  JESSICA BIEL is pregnant.  It’s only SEMI-official because the news comes from JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE’s former N’ SYNC bandmate JOEY FATONE.

He says, quote, “[Justin] told me a while ago, and I kept my mouth shut.  But now I can talk about it . . . Jessica is awesome, and Justin is a kid at heart.  [They'll have] fun.”

 

American Idol Loses Coke As A Major Sponsor!!

You can tell American Idol is on its way out because Coca-Cola just canceled their endorsement deal with the show after 13 seasons!!!

Sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that Fox is already negotiating deals with potential new sponsors…but hasn’t had any luck yet.

The 14th season of the show begins on January 7th.

 

Here Comes Bill Cosby Accuser #26 

A 26th woman has come forward to accuse BILL COSBY of sexual assault.  This woman says Cosby drugged her, stripped her, and assaulted her at the Playboy Mansion in 2008.

That’s recent enough that the statute of limitations has not run out . . . so Bill could conceivably be prosecuted for this one.

Meanwhile, KATHIE LEE GIFFORD says BILL COSBY tried to kiss her when they toured together in the 1970s, but she said no, and he respected that.

She also said that she never saw Bill exhibit the kind of behavior so many women are accusing him of, but she’s also not saying they’re lying.

Freak Files: Wednesday, 12/17/14

A Man Uses a Santa Bar Crawl as a Cover to Rob a Bank Dressed as Santa

This past weekend, something called SantaCon happened in various cities around the country . . . that’s where people dress like Santa, go bar hopping.  It’s one giant party for everyone dressed like Santa!

For one dude, though, it was the PERFECT cover.

Around 1:00 P.M. on Saturday, a guy in his 40s walked into a bank in San Francisco wearing a Santa suit, and handed the teller a note demanding money.

She gave him some cash, he walked out and seamlessly slipped into the giant crowd of Santas.

The police are trying to track him down, but they think it’s a long shot.

 

Man Arrested While Driving Car With 4 Flats And A Deployed Airbag

Omaha police arrested a man for suspicion of DUI after they spotted him driving with FOUR flat tires and a deployed airbag!!!

Richard Curzon was driving drunk and crashed into a neighbor’s yard, hitting a tree and the front porch!

Since he’s been arrested on 3 prior DUI’s, he tried to make a get away, but the cops easily caught up with him because of his FOUR FLAT TIRES!!!!  The deployed air bag didn’t help his case any!

Stupid Criminals!!!

He’s been booked on suspicion of felony DUI, felony flight to avoid arrest, willful reckless driving, leaving the scene of a property-damage accident, open container and possession of drug paraphernalia.

 

Obie . . . The Obese Wiener Dog Who Lost 54 Pounds

Two years ago, an eight-year-old dachshund named Obie earned the nickname “world’s fattest wiener dog” . . . because he weighed in at 77 POUNDS.  That’s about 50 pounds overweight . . . he could barely walk, and looked ridiculous.

A veterinary technician in Portland, Oregon named Nora Vanatta adopted him.  His previous owners were an elderly couple who only gave him people food.  But Nora put him on a strict, low-carb diet to help him trim down.

And it WORKED.  In two years, Obie has lost 54 POUNDS . . . or about 70% of his body weight.  And he’s kept it off for over a year now.

He looks so good, Nora had him pose for his own calendar.  You can buy one for 20 bucks at ObieDog.com.

(Check out his before and after photos by clicking here.)

 

Dirt Alert: Tuesday, 12/16/14

A Quick One From The Rumor Mill

Is MILEY CYRUS in a “delicate condition?” Sources tell Life & Style magazine that the hot mess is carrying PATRICK SCHWARZENEGGER’s baby!!

The reason why the rumor has picked up so much steam is because Miley has supposedly given up drinking and smoking pot and may need help to stay sober for nine, long months.

 

Do You Love Brian Williams???

If you’re a fan of BRIAN WILLIAMS on the NBC Nightly News, you have a reason to celebrate –the network just renewed his contract, giving him a new long-term deal.

The Los Angeles Times sez the deal could be for as long as five years, with Brian getting  “as much as $10 million per year.”

Brian just recently celebrated his 10th year anchoring the news after TOM BROKAW’s exit.

 

Burt Reynolds Has Still Got It!!!

BURT REYNOLDS has still got it after all these years.

Yahoo.com reports the 1977 Pontiac Trans Am that he drove in “Smokey and the Bandit” went for a whopping $480-thousand dollars at auction last weekend, while the football helmet from “The Longest Yard” brought in $20-grand and someone paid $17,500 for the canoe built for “Deliverance.”

Meanwhile, sources tell the National Enquirer that former love SALLY FIELD was “devastated” to hear that Burt was selling off his belongings and vowed to do everything she can to help out.

For the record, Burt swears his finances are in great shape, he just doesn’t need lots of things at the age of 78.

 

Kim Kardashian Cropped Her Own Daughter Out of a Selfie 

KIM KARDASHIAN lets NOTHING get in the way of a good selfie.  Not even her own flesh and blood.  Kim posted a selfie yesterday in which she clearly cropped out her daughter North, and her followers let her have it, calling her selfish and narcissistic.

But Kim has an excuse.  She Tweeted, quote, “Wait is this really news that I posted a selfie & cropped my daughter out?  LOL . . . Her eyes were closed and I was feeling my look!  Can I live?!?!”

Freak Files: Tuesday, 12-16-14

A Couple Got Locked in Their Keyless Car for 13 Hours . . . Because They Didn’t Know They Could Unlock It Manually

68-year-old Brian Smith of New Zealand and his 65-year-old wife Mollieanne recently bought a new Mazda 3 with keyless entry, where you use the keychain remote to unlock the car.

And last month, they were sitting inside the car in their garage when the doors automatically locked.  They didn’t have the remote with them, and they thought the keychain remote was the ONLY way to unlock the car.

So they PANICKED, and started honking their horn, hoping someone would hear it and come help.  But no one did.

At some point you’d THINK they would have noticed there were buttons on the doors to unlock the car MANUALLY, but they didn’t.  They just sat there . . . for 13 HOURS . . . until a neighbor found them.  By then Mollieanne was unconscious, and Brian was having trouble breathing.  Paramedics say if they’d been there much longer, they might have died.

They could have kept quiet and saved themselves the embarrassment . . . but she says they went public with the story, so other people don’t make the same mistake.

 

A Couple Got Busted Squatting in a $1.1 Million Home Because of a Mistake on Their Forged Deed

24-year-old Justin Dean and his 23-year-old wife Jenna are not millionaires.  We’re not even sure they’re thousandaires, since they run a marginally successful horse grooming company in Florida.  But for a few months, they got to live like royals.

They’ve been squatting in a 7,000 square foot mansion since September . . . but got caught when someone actually bought the house for $1.1 million.

The couple whipped up a fake deed, but dated it Labor Day . . . and since banks were closed that day, authorities immediately suspected the deed to be fake and they were both arrested for forgery and grand theft.

Stupid Criminals!!!

(Click here for their mugshots plus a few photos of the house.)

 

Santa Gets A Parking Ticket

Santa Claus’ sleigh was given a ticket for parking in a no parking zone!!!

Chris Uttley was helping Santa by towing the sleigh to a charity event when he stopped to wait for some volunteers outside.  Unfortunately, Santa’s sleigh was double parked at the time.

He started transferring some donations from his car to the sleigh when he was slammed with a $50-dollar-ticket.

Chris said that “Santa was absolutely shocked,” and thought the warden should “get a lump of coal for Christmas.”

And guess who’s on the hook to pay the fine?  The charity!!!

Dirt Alert: Monday, 12/15/14

American Idol Will Only Air ONE Night A Week Now!!

Over the weekend, Ryan Seacrest revealed that “American Idol” will only air ONE night a week for the upcoming season.

He says that they decided to combine the performance show and the results show in order to keep the show more interesting to viewers.

The new season of American Idol will premier on January 7th.

 

Did Zac Efron Have a Friend Stand In for Him . . . In a Bathroom Line? 

Don’t hate on ZAC EFRON . . . you’d do this if you could:  Zac and his friends were partying at a club in L.A. when Zac’s bladder filled up.  Unfortunately, there was a huge line for the men’s room.

So Zac had one of his peeps stand in the line . . . and when the guy got to the front, he texted Zac, who came over and took his place.  The other guys in line were not amused.

 

Barbara Walters names Amal Clooney most fascinating person of 2014

Well, we finally know who Barbara Walters thinks is the most fascinating person of 2014.  Last night she gave the honor to Amal Clooney!

The human rights lawyer, formerly known as Amal Alamuddin, married George Clooney in September.

Barbara Walters called the wedding “perfect.”

Other people on Barbara’s “Most fascinating” list include: Taylor Swift, Oprah Winfrey, Neil Patrick Harris and Scarlett Johansson.

 

Taylor Swift Celebrated Her Birthday With Jay Z, Beyoncé, Justin Timberlake, And Everybody Else Who Matters 

Those of you who still don’t consider TAYLOR SWIFT the biggest name in music right now can officially consider yourselves on the WRONG SIDE OF HISTORY.

Because she had a party Friday night at her New York apartment to celebrate her 25th birthday . . . and EVERYBODY came.  That’s almost not an exaggeration.

The guests included Jay Z and Beyoncé, Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, Iggy Azalea, Sam Smith, Nick Jonas and his girlfriend Olivia Culpo, and many others!

And ARETHA FRANKLIN sang “Happy Birthday” to her.

Is Jessica Biel Wearing Maternity Clothes? 

Rumors of a JESSICA BIEL pregnancy picked up steam over the weekend, after Jessica was spotted wearing what looks like a MATERNITY-style jumpsuit.

And while you can never say for sure from just a few photos, it DOES look like there’s a baby bump underneath.

If Jessica IS pregnant, this will be the first child for her and her husband, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.

 

Freak Files: Monday, 12/15/14

Baby Born At 10:11 on 12/13/14

A Cleveland baby was born at 10:11am on December 13, 2014….making her birthday 10:11, 12/13/14!

Hazel Grace was born at Cleveland’s Fairview Hospital to Leisha Campbell and Shawn Zimmerman. We won’t have another sequential calendar date for at least 20-years (until January 2, 2034.)

 

A Guy Rents a Crane For an Elaborate Marriage Proposal . . . and Accidentally Destroys His Girlfriend’s Apartment Building

A guy in the Netherlands was proposing to his girlfriend this weekend, and decided to do something WAY over-the-top.

He rented a CRANE, parked it outside his girlfriend’s apartment Saturday morning, and lifted himself up to her bedroom window.

But as the crane lifted him up, it TOPPLED OVER . . . and fell straight into the neighbor’s ROOF.

As the crane operators were trying to get the crane out of the neighbor’s roof using a bigger crane, it fell AGAIN.  This time it destroyed the REST of the neighbor’s roof . . . and made six other apartments unsafe to be in.

No one was hurt, and the guy’s girlfriend said yes.  So after they talked with the cops, they headed off on a surprise trip to Paris.

There’s no word on what charges might be coming.

Click here to see a picture of the crane and the roof.

 

Men Are More Of A Danger To Themselves Than Women

Science just confirmed something we’ve all known forever:  Men are dangerous to themselves.

The “British Medical Journal” decided to prove it, so they took a look at the Darwin Awards . . . those are the awards given out every year to real people who accidentally kill themselves in the stupidest ways possible.

For example, a terrorist who tried to mail a bomb in a package, didn’t put enough postage on it, so it was returned to him . . . and he OPENED it.

There have been 318 awards given out since 1995 that were independently verified as TRUE by the Darwin Awards committee . . . 282 were given to men, and 36 were given to women.

That means 88.7% of the Darwin Award winners are men . . . which is statistically significant proof that men are more likely to do stupid things than women.