Freak Files: 02-05-10

WHO WOULD PAY $2MILLION FOR A CAMEL??

How much would you pay for a camel?  A man from the United Arab Emirates just shelled out over 6-million dollars to buy three camels.  The deal went down Tuesday during an auction at the Dhafra Festival for Camels in Abu Dhabi   The festival is attended by princes, dignitaries and camel aficionados from all over the Persian Gulf. Besides the camel auctions, high points of the festival include camel races, camel milk and meat contests.

STUPID CRIMINALS!

A car thief on trial for stealing a Porsche was re-arrested when cops learned he drove a stolen Lexus to court.  37-year-old TONY VAN was in the courtroom to hear a verdict on charges he stole a 125-thousand dollar Porsche.  Meanwhile, he had left seven small puppies in his car outside.  While Tony was in court, the dogs escaped and started running loose in the parking lot.  As police were rounding the animals up –they noticed the vehicle the dogs escaped from was stolen.  When Tony came out, officers arrested him again.  Now he’s accused of receiving a stolen vehicle, animal cruelty and two other charges.  STUPID CRIMINALS!!!

.

LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES. . .

A bank employee got in trouble for checking out nude pictures on the net but the funny part is how he got caught. Turns out he can be seen in the background while a local TV station interviewed a co-worker. Millions of people watching the news that night saw the man looking at three e-mail attachments of Australian model MIRANDA KERR during her recent GQ magazine photo shoot.  And millions more can see it since the video made it to YouTube.  You can see the employee scanning the three photos just over the interview subject’s right shoulder.  Bank officials say they have a very strict policy about the use of technology and they’re investigating the matter. The employee remains unidentified.

.

A FREAK FILE EXTRA!!!

A nine-year-old Chinese girl has become one of the world’s youngest mothers after giving birth to a healthy boy.

Joke of the Day: 02-05-10

THE AMAZING TALKING DOG

A man and his dog walk into a bar.

The man proclaims, “I’ll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk.”

Bartender: “Yeah! Sure…go ahead.”

Man: “What covers a house?”

Dog: “Roof!”

Man: “How does sandpaper feel?”

Dog: “Rough!”

Man: “Who was the greatest ball player of all time?”

Dog: “Ruth!”

Man: “Pay up. I told you he could talk.”

The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door.

Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, “Should I have said Mickey Mantle instead?”

Egg – O – Meter Today!

This morning, we will be doing our standard “Egg O Meter” to find out who will win the Super Bowl!  Basically, we put two eggs in the microwave….one egg for each team.

The team’s egg that explodes first will LOSE!

The Egg-o-Meter will happen this morning at 7:10 on WRVR, 104.5, the River!

Who Dat Dog!

SNEAK PEAK AT THE SNICKERS SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL

Here’s a sneak preview of a Super Bowl commercial for Snickers, featuring BETTY WHITE playing football.  It looks HILARIOUS.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRh1WF5FqqY

Freak Files: 02-04-10

A GUY WHO SAVED HIS DOGS WAS MAULED TO DEATH…BY HIS DOGS:

Here’s even more proof that no good deed goes unpunished.  Four years ago, three Bullmastiffs attacked and seriously injured a man in central Slovenia.  Officials ordered the dogs to be put down, but their owner…an unidentified 52-year-old doctor…appealed the ruling.  And in June, he finally won his case, sparing the lives of his three pets.  Anyway, on Tuesday the doctor was working in his garden when his dogs suddenly turned on him and MAULED HIM TO DEATH.  The three Bullmastiffs have now been put to sleep…maybe a little too late.  (If you don’t know what a Bullmastiff looks like, you can check out some photos of the breed here.  We included a picture of full-grown Mastiff, as well as a Mastiff puppy…because they’re just SO ADORABLE!!!)

HAVE YOU EVER WRECKED A CAR WHILE TAKING IT FOR A TEST-DRIVE???

You always wonder whether a customer will get into an accident when test-driving a new car off the lot. This story is just the opposite. An auto shop owner who finished repairs on a customer’s car took it out for a test drive and crashed it himself.   The car: A 2008 Porsche Boxster. The man reportedly hit speeds up to 164 mph before he flipped the car on a road shoulder (and no, not while doing 160 mph).  He was uninjured. Cost of the damage:  Around $50 grand.  FYI: A brand-new Boxster goes for between $51 and $56K… might as well just make it a total write-off.

COST TO TRAIN FOR THE OLYMPICS:

The Winter Olympics get under way next week.  If your kids get inspired by the Games and decide they want to become an Olympic athlete one day, you may want to gently encourage them to find another path.  Here’s why . . .Once they make the national team, most athletes are given funding through the U.S. Olympic Committee to cover the costs of their training.  But until you make the Olympic squad, you’re on your own.  And, seriously, it costs a TON of money to train for the Olympics.  Check it out:

SPEED SKATERS train for an average of four to seven years, at an annual cost of $13,500.  That’s means they’ll spend a grand total of $54,000 to $94,500 out of pocket before MAYBE making the Olympics.

FIGURE SKATERS train for ten or more years, at an annual cost of $10,000.  That means they’ll spend a grand total of $100,000 out of pocket before MAYBE making the Olympics.

HOCKEY PLAYERS train for an average of 20 years, at an annual cost of $6,000.  That means they’ll spend a grand total of $120,000 out of pocket before MAYBE making the Olympics.

And ALPINE SKIERS train for an average of ten years, at an annual cost of $6,000 to $30,000.  That means they’ll spend a grand total of $60,000 to $300,000 out of pocket before MAYBE making the Olympics.

Dirt Alert: 02-04-10

ANGELINA JOLIE AND JOHNNY DEPP ARE DOING A MOVIE TOGETHER.

ANGELINA JOLIE and JOHNNY DEPP are going to start filming a movie called “The Tourist” in Italy pretty soon.  So let the rumors begin.  The “Star” tabloid says that Angelina already has her sights set on Johnny…quote, “She goes on and on about how fabulous Johnny is.  She told Brad she’s going to Italy without him.  Angie knows what she wants, and she doesn’t want Brad in the way.”

ONE OF THE MISTRESSES WHO VISITED THE “CHEETAH CAGE” WITH TIGER WOODS IS OFFENDED BY THOSE TIGER WOODS GOLF BALLS:

You know those golf balls featuring the faces of TIGER WOODS’ various mistresses???  Well, one of those skanks is OFFENDED by them.  She thinks they can encourage violence against women.  The irony here is that the skank in question is JOSLYN JAMES…the PORNO STAR.  She even held a press conference yesterday.  She said, quote, “As a victim of violence myself, it bothered me to think that someone would be standing with a dangerous club in their hands and hitting a ball with my face on it.”

CBS HAS DENIED A REPORT THAT KATIE COURIC WILL BE ASKED TO TAKE A PAY CUT:

The “CBS Evening News” is still in last place…behind “NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams” and “ABC World News with Diane Sawyer”…so reports that CBS is looking to dump KATIE COURIC continue to pop up and fade out.  The latest rumor was started by The Drudge Report, which claimed that Katie was, quote, “in the direct line of fire…[for a] dramatic pay cut.”  CBS reportedly laid-off 150 employees, but they’re paying Katie around $15 million a year to anchor a last-place news show.  But CBS News boss Sean McManus says these reports are false.   Katie’s contract is up in May of next year.  There’s speculation that Katie and CBS will part ways at that point.

Joke of the Day: 02-04-10

Colts Joke

How do you get a Colts fan to stop beating his wife?

Dress her in Black and Gold.

Wet Nose Wednesday: Winnie

Every Wednesday at 8:40, Guardian Angel Pet Rescue joins the Mike and Mandy show to showcase a special animal that needs a good home.

This week’s featured pet is Winnie.

Winnie is a Beagle mix. She is two years old and about 25 pounds. She is house trained, kennel trained, and will spend a lot of the day outdoors in a fenced in yard (she will bark when she gets lonely). She loves other dogs and is also very good with my 15 month old little boy. She is up to date on her shots, heart work negative, and is spayed.

If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.

For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here.

Freak Files: 02-03-10

A TRUCKER CHOKED ON CHILI WHILE DRIVING…PASSED OUT…AND CRASHED INTO A HOUSE…WHICH NOW HAS TO BE TORN DOWN:  (!!!)

On Friday, a 59-year-old trucker named Eric Gremm was stuffing his face with some chili from Wendy’s…while driving his flatbed truck at the same time…when he hit a bump, started choking and PASSED OUT at the wheel.  A little later, Eric regained consciousness only to find that while he was out, he’d crashed into a house in suburban Boston.  Fortunately, the owner wasn’t home and there were no injuries.  To add insult to this homeowner’s injury, city building inspectors are now saying that the entire house is going to have to be DEMOLISHED in order to remove the truck.  So far, Eric hasn’t been charged with anything.  But police officials say he could be ticketed for eating while driving.  (–Check out a photo of the accident here . . .)

STUPID CRIMINALS!!!

A woman was arrested in Russia Monday when she was caught smuggling fifty lovebirds into the country under her coat.  Russian border agents were alerted when the birds woke up and started chirping loudly.  One guard said, “It was impossible for the customs inspector and tourists not to hear them.”   The woman –who was coming back from a trip to China –had sewn the birds into a special pocket on her apron.  The lovebirds are valued at around 330-dollars.  Officials say the lady faces a fine.

(Oh great.  I ordered 10 lovebirds for my wife this Valentine’s Day.  Does mean my order will be delayed???)

A GUY WAS SHOT BY HIS *DOG* WHILE HE WAS HUNTING:

On Saturday, an unidentified 53-year-old man was duck hunting with his Labrador Retriever outside of Los Banos, California.   At the end of the day, the guy set his shotgun on the ground while he went to pick up a few decoy ducks about 45 feet away.  He figured it would be okay since the gun’s safety was on. But while he was collecting the decoys, the guy’s dog stepped on the gun and somehow managed to disengage the safety, while hitting the trigger at the same time.  Long story short, the upper left side of the guy’s back was sprayed with buckshot.  He was rushed to the hospital, where he was treated and released.

Joke of the Day: 02-03-10

CAJUN IN HELL

A Cajun who died went to hell.  The devil assigned him the usual punishment…put him in the mass pit where the heat super high! The devil came back sometime later surprised to find the Cajun just sitting around, not even sweating.

“How come you’re not so much as sweating here where everyone else is screaming for relief from the heat?”

The Cajun laughed and said, “Man, I was raised in the bayous of Sout Looziana. Dis ain’t nothin’ but sprin’time to me!”

The devil decided to really put the Cajun through it. He put him in a sealed off cave with open blazes and four extra furnaces blasting. When he came back, days later, the Cajun was sitting pretty, had barely begun to bead up with sweat. The devil was outraged.

“How is this possible!? You should be melted to a shrieking puddle in these conditions!.”

The Cajun laughed even harder than before. “Hey, man! I done tole you. I was raised in Sout Looziana. You tink dis is heat?! Dis ain’t nothin’ but August in Looziana!”

So the devil thought, ‘Alright, a little reverse ought to do the trick.’ He put the Cajun into a corner of hell where no heat ever reached. It was freezing with massive icebergs and snow everywhere! When he returned, the Cajun was shivering, ice hung from every part of him but he was grinning like it was Christmas.

Exasperated, the devil asked “How is it possible?! You’re impervious to heat and now you are freezing cold and yet you’re happier than ever. WHY?!”

The Cajun kept grinning and asked, “Hell’s frozen over!?  Don’t dis mean de Saints are in da Super Bowl?”

Dirt Alert: 02-03-2010

TAYLOR SWIFT dropped one of her four trophies while posing for pictures backstage at the Grammys Sunday night.  –In case you haven’t seen the video, we have it.  She drops it at the very beginning, so don’t blink . . .

.

And now, on with the Dirt Alert….. . .

DID JESUS LUZ BREAK UP WITH MADONNA???

The “Chicago Sun Times” says that MADONNA and JESUS LUZ have broken up.  And they claim it was Jesus who did the dumping.  Supposedly, he realized that, quote, “their age difference and overall lack of mutual interests nixed a long-term relationship.”  (–Jesus is 23…Madonna is 51.)

IS DR. CONRAD MURRAY GOING TO SURRENDER TO POLICE

DR. CONRAD MURRAY…the man at the center of the MICHAEL JACKSON death investigation…is in Los Angeles as we speak.  And if it comes down to it, he’s ready to SURRENDER to police.  Prosecutors are most likely going to charge Murray with involuntary manslaughter…and according to some reports, it could happen today or tomorrow.  Murray’s lawyer adds, quote, “Dr. Murray is more than ready to surrender and answer to any charges.”

JAMES CAMERON WILL BE BATTLING HIS EX-WIFE FOR TWO OSCARS:

Nominations for the 82nd Annual Academy Awards were announced yesterday…and JAMES CAMERON will do battle with his ex-wife for TWO Oscars.  He’s up for Best Director for “Avatar”…and ex-wife KATHRYN BIGELOW is nominated for “The Hurt Locker”.  And both movies are up for Best Picture.  They also lead the entire field, with NINE nominations each. -Bigelow was the THIRD of Cameron’s FIVE wives.  They were married from 1989 to 1991.) Kathryn has already beaten James for this year’s Directors Guild Award.  That makes her the frontrunner.  The Directors Guild winner has gone on to take the Best Director Oscar all but SIX times since 1948.

“Full House” home is for sale

Would you be interested in living in the home that was featured in the opening credits of “Full House“?  Because you can . . . it’s on the market for $4.1 million.  (–The interior wouldn’t look familiar.  “Full House” was shot on a set in L.A.) The house is located in San Francisco in an upscale area of Victorian homes. (–If you’re curious, similar homes in the area sell for around $1.5 million.  Here are some pictures…)

Big Giveaway on Facebook!!!

Join us on facebook to enter to win 2 passes to WRVR’s screening of “Valentine’s Day” (tons of movie stars, Julia Roberts, Jennifer Garner, Taylor Swift, Ashton Kutcher and many, many more.) We’ll pick 10 winners on Thursday morning!

To join the conversation on our Facebook page by clicking here!!!

Oscar Nominations – 2010

Best Actress:

• Carey Mulligan – An Education
• Gabourey Sidibe – Precious
• Helen Mirren – The Last Station
• Meryl Streep – Julie & Julia
• Sandra Bullock – The Blind Side

Best Actor:

• Colin Firth – A Single Man
• George Clooney – Up In The Air
• Jeff Bridges – Crazy Heart
• Jeremy Renner – The Hurt Locker
• Morgan Freeman – Invictus

Best Supporting Actress:

• Anna Kendrick – Up In The Air
• Julianne Moore – A Single Man
• Mo’nique – Precious
• Penélope Cruz – Nine
• Vera Farmiga – Up In The Air

Best Supporting Actor:

• Christoph Waltz – Inglourious Basterds
• Christopher Plummer – The Last Station
• Matt Damon – Invictus
• Stanley Tucci – The Lovely Bones
• Woody Harrelson – The Messenger

Best Director:

• James Cameron – Avatar
• Jason Reitman – Up In The Air
• Lee Daniels – Precious
• Kathryn Bigelow – The Hurt Locker
• Quentin Tarantino – Inglourious Basterds

Best Picture:

• Avatar
• The Blind Side
• District Nine
• An Education
• The Hurt Locker
• Inglourious Basterds
• Precious
• A Serious Man
• Up
• Up In The Air