Dirt Alert: Wednesday, 11/25/15

Carrie Underwood Will Be Leaving a “Ginormous Tip” at a Waffle House Tomorrow

I guarantee you there’s going to be at least one Waffle House server this year who’ll be thrilled they worked on Thanksgiving.

All they have to do is be lucky enough to wait on CARRIE UNDERWOOD and her family.

CARRIE UNDERWOOD plans to take the family to Waffle House tomorrow morning for breakfast. And while there, she’s going to make one server very happy by leaving a gigantic tip!

She says, quote, “It’s such a hectic time, and I don’t feel like making breakfast on a day that you’re making so much food anyway. So we order breakfast and leave a ginormous tip.”


Larry the Cable Guy is Suing the Giterdone Gas Station in Mississippi

LARRY THE CABLE GUY did NOT invent the phrase, “Git-R-Done”, but apparently, he feels he has enough claim to it to sue a place in Diamondhead, Mississippi called the Giterdone gas station.

Giterdone not only uses Larry’s golden catchphrase, it also sells merchandise with the logo on it, including beer, knives, and packaged meats, naturally.

Larry wants them to ditch the name and stop selling the products. He also wants all the profits from merchandise already sold.

Larry probably does have some kind of copyright on the phrase, and he has a Git-R-Done non-profit organization that he established in 2009 to help children’s and veterans organizations. He also sells his own products, like Git-R-Done energy drinks through Git-R-Done Productions, Inc.


Royal Update!

Life ain’t always peaches and cream for KATE MIDDLETON.

Sources tell the National Enquirer that Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge wanted to take boxing lessons after seeing her sister PIPPA get into tip-top shape with the fitness regimen.

Unfortunately, the big boss –A.K.A. QUEEN ELIZABETH II– wasn’t on-board with the idea saying that, quote, “Mothers of future kings do not hit each other with boxing gloves.”

Freak Files: Wednesday, 11/25/15

From The Bowels of Human Excess!

Hey guys –want to give your girlfriend a Thanksgiving she’ll never, ever forget?

Better book some tickets to the Big Apple, ‘cuz The Old Homestead Steakhouse in Manhattan is offering the holiday of a lifetime! The restaurant is serving up Wagyu beef from Japan, Foie gras, sourdough bread, cranberry-orange relish, creamy mashed potatoes, butternut squash, sweet potatoes and –of course– turkey, along with an emerald-cut engagement ring inside!

But wait –there’s more! You’ll get a dish of pumpkin ice cream for dessert, topped off with two tickets in the grandstand for Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, a $5-thousand dollar Black Friday shopping spree at Bergdorf Goodman and two-night stay at the Waldorf Astoria complete with limo service.

All this can be yours for the low, low price of $45-thousand dollars.


A Woman Tried to Poison Her Husband But Failed Because She’s a Bad Speller

It’s nice to know all the horrible spelling you see these days could occasionally be used for GOOD.

55-year-old Jacqueline Patrick, from London was unhappily married to a 70-year-old guy named Douglas. So back in 2013, she tried to POISON him by putting ANTIFREEZE in his drink, on Christmas. Cold.

But there were two problems. First, she forged a note from him saying he didn’t want to be resuscitated. And she misspelled the word “dignity.” She wrote “dignerty.”

Second, her husband SURVIVED. When tests showed he had antifreeze poisoning, the cops suspected Jacqueline, and had her write “dignity” as a test. And she spelled it “dignerty” again.

Stupid Criminals!!!!

She was arrested for attempted murder, and got sentenced to 15 years in prison on Monday.


Florida Restaurant Fires 13 Workers With Group Text Message

There are some things you just shouldn’t do via text.

Like….FIRE people. But that is just what Brad Barrett, the general manager of the Clermont, Florida restaurant “Lilly’s on the Lake” did!

Brad sent out a group text message to 13 employees that said, “Hello Everyone. As you know we are making some changes and moving in a new direction in the restaurant and because of that we have decided to move on without you. We appreciate the opportunity to work with you and all of your hard work. Unfortunately we were unable to call and speak with each of you individually but we hope you all understand the decision we have made. Feel free to use us as a reference.”

The ex-employees are understandably upset.

Wet Nose Wednesday: Jack

Every Wednesday at 8:40, Guardian Angel Pet Rescue joins the Mike and Mandy show to showcase a special animal that needs a good home.

This week’s featured pet is Jack

Big Jack 1

Jack was from a litter of 10 pups and is currently about 5 years old. He is a Husky Shepherd mix that weighs about 35 pounds. Jack is very lovable and will sit and come on command. He is good with cats and most other dogs. Jack is both kennel and house trained and doesn’t chew anything up. He was adopted out however his new family would not fix the corner of their fence and after GAPR picked him up from the shelter multiple times we decided not to give him back to these irresponsible parents. Jack would be great for someone that competes with dogs in adgility competitions. He has small, very quick feet and loves to go over and under items in his foster parents yard. Jack will need a harness for walking and a very secure yard to play in for if there is a way for him to get out he will find it.

If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.

For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here

We couldn’t do Wet Nose Wednesday without the generous support of our sponsor, Dixie Memorial Pet Cemetery.

Dirt Alert: Tuesday, 11/24/15

Sean Connery Tried to Get Carly Simon and Her Sister To Date Him At The Same Time

We told you last week about Carly Simon’s new book where she reveals that her hit song “You’re So Vain” is only partially about Warren Beatty.

Well, the book also reveals a lot of other real juicy stuff about her dating life. Carly says that back in 1965, SEAN CONNERY wanted to date her and her sister Lucy at the same time.

Carly said, “No.” But did her sister Lucy say, “Yes?” I guess you’ll have to buy the book to find out, but it’s interesting to note that not even James Bond could make the ‘sister-act’ happen.

Carly was 20, her sister was 22, and Connery was 35.


Bernie Sanders is Leading the “Time” Magazine Person of the Year Poll

“Time” magazine won’t pick its Person of the Year for about a week and a half, but the people participating in their online poll are pretty solidly rooting for BERNIE SANDERS.

He’s got 12.7% of the vote, which doesn’t seem like a lot. But his closest competition is MALALA YOUSAFZAI, with only 4.9%. She’s followed by POPE FRANCIS with 3.7%, and PRESIDENT OBAMA with 3.5%.

DONALD TRUMP is in 15th place, with 1.9% of the vote. HILLARY CLINTON is even further back, at 1.2%. And BEN CARSON only had 0.9%.


Elisabeth Hasselbeck Is Leaving “Fox & Friends”

ELISABETH HASSELBECK is leaving “Fox & Friends”, where she’s been a co-host since leaving “The View” in 2013.

It’s unclear when her last day will be, but she’ll be out by the end of the year. She says she’s leaving to spend more time with her family, but she didn’t elaborate too much on it.

“Fox & Friends” will have a revolving door of guest hosts until a permanent replacement is named.


Adele May Sell 3 Million Copies Of Her New Album

As expected, Adele’s new album, “25,” debuted at number 1 and now Billboard is predicting that the record may exceed its projected sales mark.

The album was initially projected to sell 2.3 million copies in the first week and now that number has jumped to 3 million.

Freak Files: Tuesday, 11/24/15

Did You Say “A New Toyota, Or a New Toy Y0da?”

A former waitress has settled her lawsuit against Hooters, the restaurant that gave her a toy Yoda doll instead of the Toyota she thought she had won.

Jodee Berry, 27, won a beer sales contest last May at the Panama City Beach Hooters. She believed she had won a new Toyota and happily was escorted to the restaurant’s parking lot in a blindfold. But when the blindfold was removed, she found she had won a new toy Yoda — the little green character from the Star Wars movies.

David Noll, her attorney, said Wednesday that he could not disclose the settlement’s details, although he said Berry can now go to a local car dealership and “pick out whatever type of Toyota she wants.”

The restaurant’s manager, Jared Blair, has said the whole contest was an April Fools’ joke.


Jilted Bride Destroys Her Wedding Dress At A 5k Run

Just days before her wedding was to take place, Kilee Manulak got a text from her fiancée of two years saying he no longer wanted to marry her.

After a few days of bawling her eye out, Kilee decided to have some fun with the situation by publicly destroying her wedding dress at “Tampa’s Color Fun Fest.”

Kilee’s bridesmaids even joined her for the 5K run….in their bridesmaid dresses. The “Color Fun Fust” sprays runners with neon paint as they make their way along the route.

By the end of the run, her wedding dress was completely covered in paint and totally destroyed and Kilee was thrilled!


Valet Parking Now Available At A California Taco Bell

Only in California! A Taco Bell in Walnut Creek, California is now offering free valet parking to customers.

The Taco Bell is located in the pricey Encina Grande Shopping Center, which just finished an $18 million redevelopment project, which includes free valet parking.

So, you can pull up to Taco Bell and let someone else park your car while you enjoy that delicious CrunchWrap Supreme.

Taco Bell is no stranger to testing new services: A Chicago Taco Bell became the first in the nation to offer alcoholic beverages during the summer and other big cities (like Houston) are testing a delivery service.

Dirt Alert: Monday, 11/23/15

Blake Shelton and Gwen Staffani’s Love Moving At Warp Speed

BLAKE SHELTON and GWEN STEFANI may be moving at warp speed with their new relationship.

Us Weekly reports that Blake has invited his new lady and her three sons to enjoy Thanksgiving at his ranch in Tishomingo, Oklahoma.

Meanwhile, MIRANDA LAMBERT is hearing the tick-tock of her biological clock. Word is that Miranda is “aching to be a mom,” looking into a few different options to start a family and BLAKE SHELTON’s refusal to have a baby is what led to their divorce.


Kurt Russel and Goldie Hawn. . . Getting Married?

Is KURT RUSSELL finally making an honest woman out of GOLDIE HAWN?

Our sources tell us that they’re planning a three-million-dollar wedding at their Colorado ranch where the theme will be “cowboy hats, horses and rock n’ roll.”

Word is their relatives are “thrilled” they’re making things official after 30 years of togetherness.


Charlie Sheen Is Selling The Houses He Gave To His Exes

Charlie Sheen’s money problems are so serious that he has to sell the houses that he bought for his two ex-wives to make back some of the money he lost after being blackmailed about his HIV status.

Charlie is looking to sell the house he bought for his ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, and their twin sons back in 2012 for nearly $5 million dollars.

He is also selling the home be bought for Denise Richards back in 2011 for nearly $7 million dollars.


Kim Kardashian Wants a $1 Million Gift for Giving Birth

KIM KARDASHIAN wants KANYE WEST to pay up BIG-TIME after she gives birth to their second child.

She wants a diamond choker that costs about $1 million as a “push present”. She says, quote, “We women go through an entire pregnancy carrying a baby . . . of course it only makes sense that we get something amazing to show how amazing we are!”

Freak Files: Monday, 11/23/15

Look What I found!!!

How about the guy who walked out of a mine in Botswana with a 1,111 carat diamond the size of a tennis ball!

It’s the second-largest jewel ever found –the biggest, the three-thousand carat Cullinan diamond, also found in South Africa, was subsequently cut into smaller pieces, with the two largest portions incorporated into Britain’s Crown Jewels.

An analyst at BMO Capital Markets said the value of such a massive stone was “impossible to estimate” because the value is dependent on the color, clarity, and cutting of the gem. A 341.9 carat diamond sold for $20.6 million in July.

Unfortunately, the guy who found it doesn’t get to keep it –he works for the mining company, Lucara, which is working the dig.


Stupid Criminals – The Bigger Knife Wins

In a scene straight out of “Crocodile Dundee,” the bigger knife usually wins the fight.

A man in Worcester (pronounced. Woos-ter), Massachusetts, tried to rob a liquor store with a machete. LUIS JIMENEZ, who’s 38, walked into Belmont Liquors and pulled out a giant knife with the intent to rob the store.

The clerk, instead of emptying the register like he was asked, pulled out a bigger machete and Jimenez ran away. Stupid Criminals!!!

Jimenez was later arrested on attempted robbery and drug possession charges.


A Woman Took Her Shoes Off on the Subway, and Gave Them to a Homeless Woman

A 26-year-old in New York named Kay Brown was riding the subway home from work last Monday, when she saw a homeless woman in her bare feet.

So she asked what size she wears . . . found out they wear the same size . . . and gave her the shoes off her own FEET. She says they were her favorite pair, but she couldn’t let someone walk around in their bare feet in the middle of November. Plus, SHE can afford to buy new shoes, and the woman she gave them to couldn’t.

Kay ended up walking about six blocks in her socks to get home, but a random guy who saw what she did said it inspired him, so he gave her a clean pair of his gym socks to wear over hers.

Click here to check out some photos of the woman putting Kay’s shoes.

Freak Files: Friday, 11/20/15

When Animals Attack!

Little dogs have a NAPOLEON complex that you need to watch out for.

STAS NAGORNOV, who’s eight, and his buddy NIKITA, who’s 12, both from Russia, were saved by a Dachshund named Tosya when they were attacked by a black bear.

The boys were playing when the bear grabbed Stas and threw him to the ground and started to bite him. Nikita ran at the bear but then it started clawing at him. That’s when Tosya, the dog, showed up and started barking like crazy. He ran into the woods and bear followed him, allowing the boys to escape.

Tosya came running back out after he lost the bear. Both boys required surgery, but are doing fine –and Tosya is being called a hero!


Louisville Is Dealing With “Mass Quantities of Boogers” Stuck on Bathroom Walls

Apparently Louisville, Kentucky has run out of problems for the mayor and the city government to solve, because THIS was the issue that consumed their time this week.

The head of Louisville’s Metro Planning and Design Services sent an email to all the managers in the government’s office building on Tuesday, detailing the city’s new emerging menace.

Quote, “We have recently discovered mass quantities of boogers on the walls in the third floor men’s restroom. This is obviously a very serious situation. Anybody caught doing this could face disciplinary action.”

And one of his employees wrote back to help out. Quote, “At no point should anything that comes out of or off a person’s body be wiped, poured, or spit or in any way put on any Metro-owned surface.”

As far as we know, the mysterious wiper or wipers have not been caught. And the city is paying to have the bathroom walls scraped clean.


Two Guys Steal a Car With a Kid Inside . . . and Drop Him Off at School

A woman in Norfolk, Virginia parked outside a post office on Wednesday morning, and left her car running, so two guys hopped in and stole it.

But they didn’t realize her eight-year-old SON was in the backseat. So they asked the kid where he wanted to go. He told them school. And guess what? The thieves actually drove to his elementary school and dropped him off.

Fortunately the kid was okay, and the cops found the car about three miles from the school. Now they’re trying to track down the two car thieves.

Dirt Alert: Friday, 11/20/15

Charlie Sheen To Publish A Memoir

Here we go…..Charlie Sheen is working on his memoir.

In the book, Charlie will chronicle his lengthy film and TV career, as well as his struggle with HIV. It’s possible the book would also include more insight into Sheen’s infamous 2011 meltdown.

His manager says that he has been “buried with offers” from publishers ever since Charlie announced he is HIV positive on “The Today Show.”

Charlie is reportedly weighing his options.


Jared from “Subway” Was Sentenced to 15 Years in Prison

Former Subway mascot JARED FOGLE was sentenced to more than 15 years in prison yesterday, after pleading guilty to possession of child porn and traveling to pay for sex with minors.

At one point, a psychiatrist testifying for the defense had the NERVE to argue that Jared’s extreme Subway diet led to a, quote, “minor case” of pedophilia.

Jared was taken into custody right after the hearing, and he won’t be eligible for parole for 13 years. He’ll be 53 in 15 years, and will have to be under some kind of supervision for the rest of his life.


Nicolas Cage Took a Picture with a Guy to Help Him Find His Missing Stepdaughter

A man snuck onto the set of NICOLAS CAGE’s upcoming movie “Dog Eat Dog” in Cleveland on Wednesday, but he wasn’t looking for trouble.

His 15-year-old stepdaughter went missing over a week ago, on November 8th, and he thought that if he could get Cage to take a picture with her “missing” poster, it might help them get information on her whereabouts.

And Nic obliged, because he may be bombing at the box office, but he’s a cool guy!!

(Here’s the picture.)


Ryan Seacrest Says All the Past Judges Will Return to “American Idol” This Season

As everyone knows, this is “American Idol’s” final season.

And to celebrate, they might be bringing back all the former “American Idol” judges. The former judges are Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, Ellen DeGeneres, Steven Tyler, Kara DioGuardi, Mariah Carey, and Nicki Minaj.

Freak Files: Thursday, 11/19/15

Learn How To Fight With Your ‘Selfie Stick’!!

A martial arts school in Moscow, Russia is trying to keep up with technology.

The M-PROFI combat sports center is now offering courses in “monopod fighting,” or how to fight using a Selfie stick. Instructors say the class was inspired by “the self-defense needs of tourists.”

A spokesman explains, “In many countries assaults on tourists have become a frequent occurrence… and the only instrument of self-defense that travelers always carry on themselves is a Selfie-stick.”


Drunk Football Fan Breaks Into a Courthouse to Sleep Because He Thought It Was The Hilton

35-year-old Harold Schroder of Oklahoma City is a Sooners fan, and this past weekend he was in Waco, Texas for their game against Baylor.

Lets just say that he was “Over served” with alcohol on Friday night, and headed back to his hotel to crash. Except when he woke up, the cops were there. Because he wasn’t in his hotel room . . . he’d broken into a COURTHOUSE to go to sleep.

The cops found him curled up right in front of a row of seats in a courtroom. When they woke him up, he explained he wasn’t there to steal anything . . . he was just confused and thought it was the Hilton where he was staying.

Hiltons may not be five-star hotels, but I’m pretty sure they’re at least nicer places to sleep than municipal buildings. Probably.  Stupid Criminals!!

He was arrested for criminal trespassing, and he got out of jail on bond on Saturday afternoon. There’s no word on whether he made it to the game that night.


Someone Was Busted For Smuggling 450 Pork Tamales Into Los Angeles

This is some VERY strange smuggling right here.

A guy was flying to Los Angeles from Mexico earlier this month, and got busted for smuggling contraband in his luggage. But it wasn’t drugs . . . guns . . . illegal fireworks . . . or anything else you’d normally associate with smuggling.

No . . . this dude was busted for smuggling PORK TAMALES.

Customs caught him with 450 illegal pork tamales. Why are those illegal? They issued a statement saying, quote, “Foreign meat products can carry serious animal diseases.”

So the guy was fined $1,000 . . . and all 450 delicious Mexican tamales were DESTROYED.


Dirt Alert: Thursday, 11/19/15

Today Show Ratings From Charlie Sheen’s Interview

NBC’s “Today” show picked up killer ratings with the CHARLIE SHEEN /HIV announcement Tuesday morning, beating all the other morning shows.


Will Michael Phelps Be A Gold Medalist Or A Midnight Toker?

Olympic swimmer MICHAEL PHELPS and his fiancée NICOLE JOHNSON will be welcoming their first little tadpole.

Phelps, the gold medalist, revealed on Instagram yesterday that she’s 12 weeks pregnant and carrying a baby boy! The duo got engaged last February after four years of dating.


Psychics Predict That Han Solo Will Die in the New “Star Wars” Movie

The site 7thSensePsychics.com conducted a survey where they asked 200 psychics questions about the upcoming “Star Wars” movie “The Force Awakens” .

The psychics did a “three-card Tarot reading” for each one, and the site analyzed the responses. The big question was, “Will Han Solo die in ‘The Force Awakens’?”

And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but 70% said YES, while only 30% said he’ll survive. Also, will the movie start with the words ‘Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away'”? 90% said yes, and 10% said no. (—All six previous movies have started with “A LONG TIME AGO in a galaxy far, far away.” You’d think at least one of the 200 psychics could have detected that discrepancy.)


A Navy SEAL Asked Jennifer Lawrence Out Because She Can’t Get a Date

JENNIFER LAWRENCE recently said she’s “lonely every Saturday night” because guys don’t ask her out.

Well, somebody took that as an opportunity to step up to the plate. He’s a Navy SEAL named Travis Fishburn from Boise, Idaho, and he made two videos asking Jennifer out. In one of them, he even displays his bow-and-arrow, weightlifting, and driving skills.

2015’s Most Dangerous Toys


This year’s list of the 10 Worst Toys has been published for parents who are ready to start shopping for holiday gifts for the kids, and is topped by a set of dinosaur claws, a quick-folding trampoline for 6-year olds, and a slingshot-device that can launch projectiles 100 feet!

The consumer watchdog group, “World Against Toys Causing Harm” (WATCH), puts out the list every year.

So, here are the top 10….uh, we only have time for 5….the top 5 WORST toys this year:

  1. “BUD” Skipit’s wheely cute pull along ($29.99) Hub caps “can break or come off at the wheel, posing a choking hazard for young children.”
  2. Foam Dart Gun. First of all –it looks like a real gun, which could cause major problems. “Detailed replicas have resulted in a number of deaths through the years and should never be sold as toys.”
  3. Stats 38 quick folding trampoline ($49.99); Potential for head, neck and other bodily injuries!
  4. Poo-Dough ($4.99). Should be called “Poop” because it basically encourages kids to play with the poop. The bigger problem –it contains wheat, which could cause allergic children major problems.
  5. Splat X Smack Shot ($10) Comes with the warning — “Launcher should never be aimed at eyes, face, people or animals”; “Anyone within close distance…should be alerted prior to firing,” etc; still a major potential for eye injuries.
  6. Kick Flipper ($19.99) – it’s kind of a skateboard device. Comes warnings like “Do not use on stairs, hills, or inclines.” It has the potential for head and impact injuries.
  7. Leonardo’s electronic stealth sword. ($24.99). Yep, even though it’s made from plastic, there’s that potential for blunt-force injuries and has small parts for kids to choke on.
  8. Kid Connection Doctor Play Set ($4.97). “Potential for ingestion and choking injuries!”
  9. Pull Along Zebra ($20.99) “Potential for strangulation and entanglement injuries.”
  10. Jurassic World Velociraptor Claws ($19.99) Although packaging does mention that there is a choking hazard because, there are no warnings or cautions about the potential for eye and facial injuries.