Mike and Mandy In The Morning!

Free Parking At the Parking Meter!!!

Officials in Keene, New Hampshire, aren’t impressed with a group of local do-gooders.

–The city is suing the group known as “Robin Hood and his Merry Men.”

–Officials say members of Robin Hood and his Merry Men have been illegally feeding parking meters that would otherwise expire.

–The group claims they aren’t doing anything illegal.

A McDonald’s Employee Finds Her Stolen Car . . . When the Thief Takes It Through the Drive Thru

On Tuesday, Virginia of Kennewick, Washington woke up and found someone had stolen her Toyota 4Runner.  She called the cops to report it missing, then went to her job at McDonald’s.

–A few hours later, there was an INCREDIBLE coincidence.  As Virginia was manning the drive thru, she saw HER OWN CAR pull up.

–The thief was 22-year-old Katherine York.  She’d stolen the car . . . then went to JC Penney and Sears to steal some clothes . . . and then to McDonald’s.

–Virginia immediately called the cops again.  Katherine was arrested for possession of a stolen vehicle.  The cops found a bunch of the stolen clothes in the backseat, but shoplifting charges are still pending.

Kim Kardashian is Still Trying to Jam Her Feet Into Heels 

Any women who’s been pregnant knows what it feels like to jam certain body parts into articles of clothing they no longer fit in.  But MOST women know when to STOP jamming.

–KIM KARDASHIAN is not one of those women.  She’s still trying to jam her swollen feet into heels.

–And we have some very uncomfortable-looking photos to prove it.

–Click here to see all the pictures.

Check Out Pictures of Cops Swarming Diddy’s $500,000 Ride, and Putting His Driver on His Knees 

The other day, cops swarmed DIDDY’S $500,000 Maybach and ordered the driver to get out of the car and get down on his knees.

–They’d gotten a call that someone in the car was armed, but it turned out to be a false alarm.  Diddy wasn’t even in the car at the time . . . he’d just been dropped off somewhere.

–Click here to see some pictures.

Surprise:  Steve Carell *Did* Return for the Series Finale of “The Office” 

“The Office” ended its nine-season run last night, and STEVE CARELL DID return for the series finale.

–On the surface, that isn’t surprising . . . but it IS impressive that they were able to keep it under wraps.

–The plot for the final episode shapes up like this:  Steve’s character Michael Scott showed up at Dwight and Angela’s wedding to serve as Dwight’s best man.

–And the comedy ensues!

“People” Magazine Says Angelina Jolie Will Have Her Ovaries Removed Next 

ANGELINA JOLIE hasn’t said what she plans to do about her increased risk of ovarian cancer . . . or when she plans to do it.

–But the logical next step after having her breasts removed is to give her ovaries the same treatment.  And “People” magazine says she’s going to do that.  But they’re only getting this from an unidentified “source”, not Angelina herself.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Is Worth More Than Oprah Winfrey 

When it comes to celebrities and their net worth, almost nobody’s got more dough than former “Seinfeld” star JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS.

–Julia Louis-Dreyfus has Oprah money.  As in, she has more money than OPRAH!!  Oprah has a net worth of $2.8 billion.  But Julia is worth $3 billion.  And no, that’s not from residuals from “The New Adventures of Old Christine”.

–Her family is LOADED . . . they own a commodities and shipping multinational that they’ve controlled since 1851.

–She’s also worth more than Tyler Perry, Diddy, Bono, Madonna, Dr. Dre, Will Smith and Ryan Seacrest COMBINED.

Police Arrested A Stalker Near Taylor Swift’s Beach House in Rhode Island

Some misguided TAYLOR SWIFT fan was arrested yesterday near her mansion in Rhode Island.

–It was around 2:00 A.M. when Lucas H. Vorsteveld swam ashore at Taylor’s house, saw some security dudes, and then jumped back into the water.

–He swam back to where he started from, about a mile away, and that’s where the police was waiting for him.  They asked what he was doing and Lucas ADMITTED he had just been at Taylor’s place because he wanted to meet her.  So, they arrested him for trespassing.

Police Report to a Science Fiction Convention . . . to Break Up a Brawl Between Two Rival Sci-Fi Clubs

On Sunday afternoon, at a science fiction convention in England, two rival sci-fi clubs got into a fight.

–The Norwich “Star Wars” Club and the Norwich Sci-Fi Club have a LONG rivalry, and on Sunday, it turned into a BRAWL.

– It’s not clear just how physical it got . . . or how many light sabers were involved . . . but the police were able to break it up pretty easily.  No arrests were made.

A 61-Year-Old Borrowed His Parents’ Car . . . to Rob a Subway

On Monday afternoon, a 61-year-old man in Texas borrowed his mom and dad’s car, which is pretty embarrassing.

–And it’s especially bad since he borrowed it to go ROB a Subway.  He got about $80, but the employees took down the plate number.

–The cops went to his parents’ house, they IMMEDIATELY turned on him, and he was arrested for robbery.

Some Idiot Frat Brothers Left Their Drunk, Unconscious Friend at a Hospital . . . With a Post-It Note Explaining the Situation

On Saturday, a fraternity at Arizona State University had a SHOT drinking contest.

–One 20-year-old did TWENTY shots of tequila . . . then blacked out unconscious.  His frat brothers didn’t want to get in trouble, but they didn’t want him to DIE either . . . so they dumped him outside a hospital with a Post-It note explaining the situation.

–The frat brother’s blood-alcohol level was .471% . . . SIX TIMES the legal limit.

–Fortunately the hospital treated him, and it looks like he’ll be okay.  His frat brothers might be looking at citations for drinking.

Every Wednesday at 8:40, Guardian Angel Pet Rescue joins the Mike and Mandy show to showcase a special animal that needs a good home.

This week’s featured pet is Sparky:

Sparky is a male gray and white Shih Tzu mix that was rescued from a shelter in Missouri. This handsome guy has a great disposition and gets along with other dogs and loves all people. If you are looking for low-maintenance, that would be Sparky. He is approximately two years old and weighs about 16 lbs. Sparky is heartworm negative, current on vaccinations and neutered. He will make a wonderful pet for any family. I would say that probably it would be best for him for a family without toddlers as he has that low long back and they have a tendency to want to sit on them.

If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.

For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here.

We couldn’t do Wet Nose Wednesday without the generous support of our sponsor, Dixie Memorial Pet Cemetery.

Americans Hate Justin Bieber

Apparently people don’t like Justin Bieber. According to a recent poll from the Public Policy Polling group, Bieber received 54% in unfavorable ratings and just 20 percent on the likability scale.

–The survey was reportedly taken across America over two days.  571 people participated.

Adele was labeled as America’s favorite pop star.

The Owners of a Restaurant Flipped Out on Social Media

On last Friday’s “Kitchen Nightmares”, GORDON RAMSAY actually QUIT on a restaurant for the first time.

–The restaurant was Amy’s Baking Company in Scottsdale, Arizona . . . and the owners, Amy and Samy Bouzaglo, were a TRAIN WRECK on the episode.  They threatened customers, screamed profanities, and fired wait staff.  So who can blame Gordon for walking out?

–After the episode aired, the restaurant owners got some negative feedback on social media sites, and they started FLIPPING OUT on the commenters.

–Later, they claimed their sites were HACKED . . . but it’s hard to buy that after how crazy they acted on TV.

Is Beyoncé Pregnant? 

BEYONCÉ canceled a scheduled show in Belgium last night due to, quote, “dehydration and exhaustion.”  Her publicist says her doctors advised her to rest.  The show will be rescheduled.

–Of course, there’s talk that this SUPPORTS recent speculation that Beyoncé is pregnant again.  There’s no official word . . . but it seems like an interesting time for her doctors to order her to rest.

Are Rich People Hiring Disabled Guides to Help Them Skip the Lines at Disney World?

This comes from the “New York Post” . . . one of America’s least reliable newspapers . . . so take it for what it’s worth.  But if it’s true . . . OUTRAGE!

–Apparently, rich people have been secretly hiring DISABLED PEOPLE to escort them around Walt Disney World in Orlando . . . so they can go into the special handicapped line, and skip the long waits for rides.

–A company called Dream Tours Florida offers the service.  The rates for a handicapped tour guide are $130-an-hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.  That doesn’t include the price of tickets to Disney World.

–Under Disney policy, a guest in a wheelchair can take up to six other people with them into the special access lines and those lines usually take minutes, not HOURS.

Man Breaks Into a Grocery Store And Eats a Feast!

30-year old Trevor Runyon broke into a Value-Market in Louisville, Kentucky and made himself an overnight feast!!

—Trevor waited until just before closing-time to slip into the store…and hid until employees closed down for the night.

–Then, he whipped himself up a meal of 6 steaks, 2 cases of beer, 2 pounds of shrimp and an entire birthday cake!

–After he polished off his “meal,” he hid in the store until the next day.  That’s just where cops found him the next morning.

–Surveillance video was all the evidence cops needed to arrest him.

A Woman Drops Her Purse in a Starbucks . . . and Her Gun Goes Off and Shoots Her Friend

On Sunday afternoon, Pamela Beck of Pinellas Park, Florida, and her friend, Amie Peterson, were at a Starbucks.

–As Pamela went to get her money, she dropped her purse.  And when it hit the ground, the .25-caliber HANDGUN she was carrying inside accidentally went OFF . . . and shot her friend in the leg.

–Amie was treated at a hospital and released.  All things considered, things could’ve turned out a LOT worse.  Pamela told the police her dad had given her the gun about a year ago, and she FORGOT it was in her purse.

–She doesn’t have a concealed weapons permit, so prosecutors are deciding whether she’ll be charged with a crime.

The Fire Department in New York Rescued a Cat Stuck in a Tree . . . and the Cop Who’d Tried to Rescue the Cat First

Yesterday afternoon, in Queens, a cat got stuck about 30 feet up in a tree.  And a cop actually took the time to climb up to try and save him.

–TRY is the key word, since the cop did NOT save the cat . . . and HE ended up getting stuck in the tree TOO.  Finally, the fire department showed up with a ladder, and rescued both the cat AND the cop.

–I never thought I’d say this, but I think New York needs more crime to get focused again.

FBI Swarms Guy’s House Because He Was Making RICE

It’s great that the FBI is looking out for us…but they might want to take note:  not every guy carrying a pressure cooker is doing something suspicious.

–Armed FBI agents, the SWAT team and the Bomb Squad surrounded the home of a Saudi student living in Michigan after neighbors spotted him carrying a pressure cooker outside.

–After tackling the guy to the ground and seizing his pressure cooker, they realized that he wasn’t a criminal.  He was just making rice!  The man had made a traditional Saudi Arabian rice dish and was taking it to a pot luck party at a friend’s house.

– The FBI apologized and told him to “be more careful.”

American Airlines Diverted a Flight and Kicked a Woman Off . . . Because She Wouldn’t Stop Singing Whitney Houston

Over the weekend, on an American Airlines flight from LAX in Los Angeles to JFK in New York, a female passenger apparently decided it was time to pay her respects to WHITNEY HOUSTON.

–So the woman started BELTING OUT Whitney songs.  The flight attendants asked her to stop, but she kept going.

–So the pilot ended up DIVERTING the flight and making an emergency landing in Kansas City . . . where the woman was arrested.

–Another passenger took a video of two cops escorting the woman off the plane . . . while she sings an off-key but heartfelt version of “I Will Always Love You”.

Angelina Jolie Had Both of Her Breasts Removed to Prevent Cancer 

ANGELINA JOLIE has revealed that she had both breasts removed after her doctor told her she had a high risk of breast cancer.

–Obviously, she had them surgically reconstructed.  She went through three months of medical procedures, which were completed on April 27th.

–She says, quote, “I do not feel any less of a woman.  I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.”

–Angelina praises BRAD PITT for standing by her through it all . . . quote, “I am fortunate to have a partner who is so loving and supportive.

Barbara Walters Did Announce Her Retirement on “The View”

As expected, BARBARA WALTERS announced her retirement on “The View” yesterday.

–She said, “I have been on television continually for over 50 years . . . but in the summer of 2014 . . . I plan to retire from appearing on television at all . . . I’m perfectly healthy, this is my decision, I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and this is what I want to do.”

– But she said she’ll continue to executive-produce “The View”, and added, quote, “There will be special occasions and I will come back, I’m not walking into the sunset.”

Dr. Joyce Brothers Has Died 

Celebrity psychologist DR. JOYCE BROTHERS died yesterday at the age of 85.

– Joyce was the ORIGINAL pop psychologist . . . kind of the prototype for DR. PHIL and DR. DREW . . . except that people actually LIKED her.

–Joyce appeared in tons of movies and TV shows, often as herself.  She was on “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson” almost 100 times.  She was also a prolific author and columnist.

A Woman Slapped a Cop So She Would Get Jail Time . . . and Have to Quit Smoking

31-year-old Etta Lopez of Sacramento, California wanted to quit smoking.  So she decided the best strategy would be . . . getting herself THROWN IN JAIL.

–On Wednesday, Etta followed through with her plan, and SLAPPED A POLICE OFFICER.  She told the cop she wanted to go to jail, where she’d be FORCED to go without cigarettes.

–Well, part one of the plan worked . . . she was arrested and he’s now in jail.  As for whether part two of the plan worked . . . we’ll have to see if this really does get her to stop smoking. 

A Man Is Arrested for Bringing a Pipe Bomb to a Gun Buyback Event

When cities sponsor gun buyback days, the whole point is that you can give them a gun no questions asked.  And that’s fair.  But if you bring HOMEMADE ARTILLERY instead, they’re probably gonna ask a few questions.

–Over the weekend, the city of Los Angeles was holding an event where they traded Visa and grocery store gift cards for guns.

–And it went great, until one guy brought in a HOMEMADE PIPE BOMB.

–It’s illegal to manufacture or possess a pipe bomb.  Fortunately, the police safely detonated it.  The man was arrested. 

Lion Meat!!  It’s Whats For Dinner

A Tampa, FL, restaurant has pulled its controversial lion meat tacos off the menu after getting complaints and even threats from animal lovers.

–Taco Fusion isn’t exactly repentant, saying, “If you guys are mad now, just wait till you see what we do next.”

–Taco Fusion sells all manner of exotic meats –bison, shark, ostrich, gazelle, camel and kangaroo have all graced its menu. The lion tacos sold for $35, and have done well enough to sell out.

–One patron said, “It tastes kind of like venison and the texture is like gator.”

Watch Kanye West Bang His Head into a Street Sign, Then Freak Out on the Paparazzi 

If you’re not a fan of KANYE, then today is Christmas, your birthday and Valentine’s Day all rolled into one.

–KANYE WEST ran headfirst into a sign because he was looking down while walking in order to avoid having his picture taken by the paparazzi.

–He ended up going BALLISTIC on a photographer, saying, quote, “Don’t take no photos!  Stop it!  All of you **** stop it, man!”

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Is Lindsay Lohan Trying to Leave Betty Ford Because They Took Her Adderall? 

Sources say LINDSAY LOHAN wants to leave Betty Ford because they took away her Adderall.  Supposedly, the clinic’s doctors assessed her and decided she doesn’t need it, and so she wants out.

–This comes right after prosecutors APPROVED Betty Ford as the clinic where Lindsay will do her court-ordered 90-day rehab.

–Lindsay’s best move would probably be to stay right where she is.  A source says that the judge will send her to jail if she pulls anymore rehab shenanigans.

Barbara Walters Is Retiring 

BARBARA WALTERS is retiring next summer.  She’ll announce it officially today on “The View”, but she already released a statement saying, quote, “I do not want to appear on another program or climb another mountain.  I want instead to sit on a sunny field and admire the very gifted women . . . and OK, some men too, who will be taking my place.”

–Barbara Walters is 83 years old.  She’s been working in TV journalism for over 50 years.  She started as a writer and researcher for NBC’s “Today” show in 1961.

More bad news for Carnival Cruises — 2 People Disappear Overboard Into Shark-Infested Waters

As if Carnival Cruises needed any more bad publicity…comes news of two Carnival Cruise passengers falling overboard into shark-infested waters on Wednesday night off the coast of Australia.

–The REALLY sad part is that Carnival didn’t even notice that the 2 passengers had fallen overboard until the next morning.

–Surveillance camera footage shows the 30-year-old man and 26-year-old woman fall from the ship’s mid deck into the shark infested waters…and even though the cruise ship has around 600 surveillance cameras that are supposed to be “constantly monitored,”….no one reported seeing them fall at the time.

–Officials have called off the search for their bodies….you know…thanks to the sharks.

Delta Air Lines Apologizes After Sending Two Dead Bodies to the Wrong Funeral Homes

Delta Air Lines just issued an apology after they sent TWO DEAD BODIES in caskets to the WRONG FUNERAL HOMES earlier this week.

–Both caskets were loaded on the same flight in New York.  One was headed to Virginia, one to South Carolina . . . and the shipping labels got switched.

–The families took this WAY better than you’d guess.  Latasha Crumpton was waiting for her uncle’s body in South Carolina.  She says, quote, “I’m sure he’s laughing about it.  I know he is.  He went with the flow.”

–Delta apologized and gave the standard, quote, “we are investigating” response.

A Guy Shoots a Teenager . . . and the Victim’s Mom Searches WebMD for Advice on Gunshot Wounds Instead of Going to the Hospital

On Tuesday night, a 24-year-old accidentally SHOT a 14-year-old in the leg.

–We’re guessing the 24-year-old is dating the kid’s mom . . . because instead of rushing her son to the hospital, the mom spent HOURS on WebMD and other websites looking up how to treat gunshot wounds.

–Finally, almost eight hours later, they went to the hospital.  The 24-year-old was arrested.