Mike and Mandy In The Morning!

WAIT UNTIL YOU MEET THE FATTEST NON-HUMAN PRIMATE!

It’s not just people that keep getting fatter –animals are becoming obese too.

–An overweight orangutan in England has been put on an extreme all-veggie diet.  Experts say the 220-pound primate weighs twice as much as a normal, healthy orangutan.  That officially makes OSHINE Britain’s fattest non-human primate.

–Zookeepers at the Monkey World Ape Rescue Center say Oshine picked up all the extra baggage during a 13-year stint as a pet in South Africa. Apparently, she ate all the wrong foods, and lots of it.

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A WOMAN’S RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS AT A GROCERY STORE TURNS INTO $100,000 FOR CHARITY:

Last summer, Carolee Hazard of Menlo Park, California, was in line to buy groceries at Trader Joe’s.  The woman in front of her was named Jenni Ware, and Jenni had forgotten her wallet.

–So Carolee decided to help Jenni out…even though she was a total stranger…and paid for all $207 of Jenni’s groceries.

–The next day, Jenni paid Carolee back…but gave her $300, or $93 more than Carolee had spent on her.  So Carolee went to Facebook and asked her friends what she should do with the extra money.

–Some people suggested charity.  So she decided to match the $93 with $93 of her own, and donated $186 to the local Second Harvest Food Bank.  She told her Facebook friends that was her plan.

–One friend decided to match the $93.  Then another.  Then another.  Within a year, Carolee’s “93 Dollar Club” had raised more than $100,000 to donate to the food bank.

–Now, she’s going to push to raise $200,000.  Quote, “That amount will provide 400,000 meals or enough to feed 100 families of four for a year.”

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MOM, DAD, IF YOU’RE DRIVING WITH YOUR KIDS, ASK THEM, “DO YOU KNOW COL. SANDERS?”  WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT THEY DON’T KNOW?

Look, I understand that today’s young people don’t know their history very well. They think Samuel Adams is a beer and “Nazi” is just a generic term to describe anyone who’s mean to you.  We get it.

–But THIS lack of knowledge is just shocking and appalling.  According to a new survey by KFC, more than 60% of people aged 18 to 25 have no idea who the guy is in the KFC logo.  That’s right:  They don’t recognize COLONEL SANDERS.

–In case you’re one of the people who don’t know, KFC was founded by COLONEL HARLAND SANDERS.  And yes, he did have white hair, a white beard, a white suit, black glasses, and a string tie.

–He developed his recipe for fried chicken around age 40, franchised his restaurants at age 65, and sold his company at age 74.  He died at age 90…and he would’ve turned 120 years old yesterday.

• TOM BRADY was involved in a pretty bad car accident yesterday morning in Boston, but he’s okay.  One of the other people involved wasn’t so lucky, though.

• Tom’s Audi collided with a minivan at an intersection shortly before 7:00 A.M.  The driver of the van was okay, but a 49-year-old male passenger was knocked unconscious.

• He had to be removed with the JAWS OF LIFE and taken to the hospital.  His injuries were said to be serious, but not life-threatening.

• The accident was NOT Tom’s fault.  The van driver ran a red light and crossed in front of Tom, who had the green.  Tom even tried to swerve to get out of his way.

• It turns out this guy…the 21-year-old son of the man who was hospitalized…has multiple moving violations on his record, and he’s had his license suspended at least FIVE TIMES in the last three years.

• Brady was well enough to practice with the Patriots yesterday afternoon, and nobody’s saying anything about him missing their opening game on Sunday at home against the Bengals.

(–TMZ posted some video from right after the accident… WARNING!!!  This video is slightly graphic.  You can see the unconscious man, and there’s a little bit of blood on his head . . Check it out here:)

http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=1871f0e8-5e0b-4ed7-a76a-8bc5f5d91240&isShareURL=true

(–And here are some pictures . . .)

(–Brady got some GOOD news later in the day yesterday.  He signed a four-year contract extension with the Patriots.  The deal is worth $72 million…and $48.5 million of that is guaranteed salary.)

(–That makes Tom the highest-paid player in NFL history.)

CAN A HUMAN WITHSTAND BEING STUNG 500 TIMES BY WASPS?

A Boston-area woman is lucky to be alive after being attacked by a swarm of wasps.

The unidentified 53-year-old was found almost unconscious near her house over the weekend.  Rescuers confirmed she was stung over 500-times by the yellow jackets.  A spokesperson said, “We’ve had some minor stings and a handful of bees before, but nothing to that extent.”

–Firefighters were able to get most of the insects off of her by spraying them with a carbon dioxide fire extinguisher.  But, there were so many wasps that a few were found still hiding in her clothing later that night at the emergency room.

WHO’S THE BOSS IN THE RELATIONSHIP?

A woman in Florida is marrying the man who once fired her from her job!

–Kelly Irish was terminated from the West Winds Assisted Living Facility in 2007 by a boss she barely knew.  She was crushed at the time, but moved on with her life.

–One night, nearly a year after she was fired, she entered her name on a dating site and took a personality test in the hopes of finding her “perfect match.”  When she saw the results, she was mortified.  It was Casey O’Keefe, the same man who fired her!

–They started dating despite their past, and now they’ll be getting hitched at the same facility where they met. I rish eventually did get her job back.

IMAGINE A SIGN AT A RESTAUARANT THAT SAYS, “SCREAMING CHILDREN WILL NOT BE TOLERATED”

–Brenda Armes is the owner of Olde Salty in Carolina Beach, and she was sick of people bringing in their loud, annoying, undisciplined children and ruining everyone else’s meals.  So she decided to BAN screaming children from her restaurant.

–There are two signs in the window now that read, quote, “Screaming Children WILL NOT Be Tolerated” and “Notice to all children and adults.  There will be no crying, screaming, whining.”

–Of course, anytime you mess with people’s kids, there’s going to be some blowback.  Several people have complained about the policy and think it’s unfair or discriminatory.

–But Brenda says that, so far, it’s been a GREAT business move.  Quote, “It’s brought us in more customers than it has ever kept away.”

–If someone brings a child to Olde Salty and the kid starts screaming, a manager will come over and ask the parent to take the kid outside until he calms down.  Once he does, they can go back inside and keep eating;  they won’t be kicked out.

IS KAT VON D PREGNANT???

This would REALLY be a slap in SANDRA BULLOCK’S face . . . and it comes from “Us Weekly”, so it’s probably not true . . .

–So-called “sources” are starting to wonder if KAT VON D is pregnant with JESSE JAMES’ baby.

–Supposedly, she’s been showing a slight belly-bump lately…and people are wondering if that’s why Kat and Jesse came out so suddenly and so enthusiastically about their relationship.

SNOOKI GOT OFF EASY IN HER DISORDERLY CONDUCT CASE . . . AFTER FIRST BEING *BERATED* BY THE JUDGE:

“Jersey Shore” party animal SNOOKI was in court yesterday . . . answering to misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct, being a public nuisance, and criminally annoying others.  (–And no, that’s not a joke.  That’s a real criminal charge.)

–Snooki was looking at a maximum sentence of $3,200 in fines and 90 days in jail . . . but she got off easy.

–But not before being BERATED by Judge DAMIAN MURRAY.  He said, quote, “Your actions . . . I don’t know . . . you seem to be acting like a LINDSAY LOHAN wannabe.  Going through life rude, profane, obnoxious and self-indulgent . . . it’s not the way you want to live your life. And hopefully this incident will impress upon you that there are consequences to your actions.”

(–You can watch video of Judge Murray’s lecture, here . . .)

–Snooki was slapped with a $533 fine . . . and two days of community service with local animal control. 

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RODNEY ALLEN RIPPY IS IN CRITICAL CONDITION FOLLOWING A DIRT BIKE CRASH:

Remember RODNEY ALLEN RIPPY . . . the adorable kid who did a series of TV ads for the Jack in the Box fast food chain back in the ’70s?

–Well, Rodney is 42 years old now . . . and in CRITICAL CONDITION following a dirt bike accident in North Carolina.

–The accident happened on Monday, but Rodney didn’t go to the hospital until yesterday, when he started having trouble breathing.  Turns out he suffered a punctured lung and several broken ribs.

–There’s no further word on his condition, but TMZ says he’s, quote, “recovering” in the trauma unit . . . so we’re assuming he’s getting better.

(–Here’s one of Rodney’s CLASSIC commercials . . .)

CLINT EASTWOOD COULD HAVE BEEN SUPERMAN *AND* JAMES BOND IF HE’D WANTED TO:

CLINT EASTWOOD can do anything.  We know this.  But would you have accepted him as Superman or James Bond?  Because he was offered both parts back in the ’70s, and he turned them down.

–He didn’t say why he opted out of “Superman”.  But he explained why he said no to Bond . . . quote, “I was offered pretty good money . . . This was after SEAN CONNERY left.  My lawyer came and said, ‘They would love to have you.’

–”But to me, well, that was somebody else’s gig.  That’s Sean’s deal.  It didn’t feel right for me to be doing it.”

Every Wednesday at 8:40, Guardian Angel Pet Rescue joins the Mike and Mandy show to showcase a special animal that needs a good home.

This week’s featured pets is Bing Bing.

Bing Bing is a 2 year old, 26 lb. Collie mix that prefers the ladies. He loves attention and petting, but also likes to have some quiet time. He was rescued ( with the owner’s permission)from a multi-dog home where due to his owner’s severe illness, the dogs were being left in the yard uncared for, except for some neighbors giving them some food and water. He had heart worms but has had all treatments, and is now on the monthly prevention pills. He has been neutered and is current on all immunizations and his monthly flea topical application. He prefers to be an inside dog, but can manage in a yard, as long as he gets regular attention.

If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.

For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here.

TIGER WOODS IS SPENDING MONEY LIKE IT’S GOING OUT OF STYLE

TIGER WOODS may not be at the top of his game, but is still spending money like it’s going out of style.

–TMZ.com reports the philandering golfer took out a 54-million-dollar mortgage for a new property on Jupiter Island, Florida.  It’s a short-term loan, legal documents claim he’ll pay off the note in early 2016. –Tiger’s new bachelor pad sounds pretty posh –it boasts a fitness center, tennis court, multiple pools and even an oxygen therapy room.

PARIS HILTON OWNS A PURSE JUST LIKE THE ONE SHE TOLD POLICE WASN’T HERS:

When cocaine fell out of PARIS HILTON’S purse and into the hands of a Las Vegas Police officer, Paris told the cop that the coke…and the purse…weren’t hers.

–But back in July, Paris Tweeted about an awesome new Chanel purse she’d just bought.  She also posted a picture of it.

–And wouldn’t you know…it happens to look EXACTLY LIKE the one she was carrying in Vegas last Friday.  (–Here’s a picture Paris Tweeted of her Chanel purse a month and a half ago…along with a picture from Paris’ arrest, in which it looks like she MIGHT be holding the same purse . . .)

JENNIFER LOPEZ’S “AMERICAN IDOL” DEAL IS, QUOTE, “IMMINENT”:

On July 30th, it sounded like a DONE DEAL that JENNIFER LOPEZ would replace ELLEN DEGENERES on “American Idol”.

–Since then, we’ve run the gamut:

–She’s in…maybe she’s not in…she’s in again…no one is in…she’s out because she’s SUCH A DIVA…and on and on and on.

–TMZ is now in Week Five of covering…whatever this is…and they’re reporting that Jennifer’s “Idol” deal is, quote, “imminent.”

–Supposedly, she’s in the “final stages” of negotiations…and it’s “all but a done deal”…and that unless there’s a “last-minute snag,” the deal could be closed by early next week.

(–”American Idol” will likely officially announce all their judges sometime next week.)

STUPID ALASKAN TRICKS

In the Alaskan tundra, sled dogs aren’t just for sledding anymore.

–A nine-year-old girl was spotted water-skiing while being pulled by a dog-team. The girl was in the water, while the dogs pulled her from the nearby shoreline.

–The spectacle took place as part of a local event known as Stupid Alaskan Tricks.  Other tricks included Alaskan muktuk speed-eating and a guy who sliced a wooden bust of SARAH PALIN in half with a chainsaw.

–But, probably the stupidest Alaskan trick of all was performed by a film crew.  They caught the entire event on camera and now they hope to sell the show to a major network.

A MAN IN NEW YORK JUMPS OFF A 39-STORY BUILDING…LANDS ON A CAR…AND SURVIVES:

Apparently, God has big plans for 22-year-old Thomas Magill of Manhattan, New York.

–On Monday, Thomas jumped off a 39-story high rise in Manhattan.  By the time he was close to the ground he was falling at 126 miles-per-hour.  And…HE SURVIVED.

–A 40-year-old named Guy McCormack had just parked his wife’s Dodge Charger right in front of the building.  So Thomas didn’t hit the pavement…he crashed through the back windshield of the Charger and landed in the backseat instead.

–And thanks to the Charger, he didn’t die.  In fact, all things considered, he got out of there cheap…with only a broken leg, a shattered ankle and a collapsed lung.  He’s in critical condition, but it looks like he’s going to pull through.

–Apparently, he had posted something on Facebook beforehand saying, quote, “I hate my life”…so it looks like it was a suicide attempt.

(–Here are some photos of the Dodge Charger from the scene . . .)

MORE AND MORE YOUNG PEOPLE ARE THROWING SEX PARTIES!  DOESN’T SOUND VERY “FAMILY FRIENDLY” DOES IT?  BUT IT IS!  FIND OUT IN 15 MINUTES!

When we saw a story today that says more and more young couples around the U.S. are throwing SEX PARTIES, we got excited.  Then disappointed, when we found out the truth.

–These new “sex parties” are when expectant parents invite a bunch of people over to announce the gender of their baby.  Usually, even THEY don’t know the sex beforehand…and open the envelope to find out in front of everyone.

(–Sounds like an excuse to either get even MORE gifts for your baby.)

EERIE PICTURES OF FAMOUS PEOPLE:  JULIA ROBERTS DOESN’T SHAVE HER PITS:

Some bikini shots of Julia Roberts hit the web yesterday, and for a woman in her 40’s, she looks great.  Except for the fact that she doesn’t shave her arm pits.   (–This isn’t the first time Julia has gone without shaving her armpits.  Check out the bikini pic, plus an old shot of Julia with hairy pits from 1999 . . .)

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JERRY LEWIS WANTS TO PUNCH LINDSAY LOHAN IN THE MOUTH:

JERRY LEWIS is a bona fide Hollywood legend.  So perhaps it’s time to turn to him for advice on how to handle LINDSAY LOHAN, PARIS HILTON and the rest of their kind.

–Jerry…who’s 84 years old…has the solution.

–He says, quote, “I would smack [Lindsay] in the mouth if I saw her…I would say, ‘You deserve this and nothing else;  whack!’  And then if she’s not satisfied, I’d put her over my knee and spank her.

–”The same thing with Paris Hilton.  Those children are begging for help.  What they’re doing is saying…’Can you please help me?’  When people who have celebrity give nothing in return, they need a spanking and a reprimand.”

PARIS HILTON IS BANNED FROM THE WYNN PROPERTIES:

PARIS HILTON has been BANNED from the Wynn properties in Las Vegas.  Wynn has two resorts…The Wynn Las Vegas and Encore.

–Paris’ boyfriend, Cy Waits, WAS the head of nightclub operations for both joints.  But he was FIRED after he and Paris were arrested on the Las Vegas Strip last Friday night.

(–Waits was booked on suspicion of DUI, but he hasn’t actually been charged yet.  Paris was charged with FELONY cocaine possession.)

–Meanwhile…“USA Today” says that a cop who searched the Escalade that Paris and Cy were in that night found a SPENT DOOBIE.

Every Wednesday at 8:40, Guardian Angel Pet Rescue joins the Mike and Mandy show to showcase a special animal that needs a good home.

This week’s featured pets are Jessie and Jennie.

Jessie and Jennie are two 5-6 year old Chiweenies. They were put in a dropbox at a Shelter in Louisiana and they contacted us and asked if we could help them. They are adorable! They are both a chocolate brown color with Jennie being the lighter one. We are assuming they have always been together – siblings or a breeding pair or both. So, we will be adopting them together. They MUST go as a pair and would prefer they be the only dogs and go to a home with no small children. They are not bad with children, but we just prefer children to be at least over 12. They both have wonderful temperaments, little boy can be a little territorial with other small male dogs. They are heartworm negative, up-to-date on vaccinations, and both have been altered. They are crate-trained and housebroken.

If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.

For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here.

SNOOKI SAID NO TO HER BOYFRIEND’S MAGAZINE COVER MARRIAGE PROPOSAL:

Jeff Miranda has been rejected.  Publicly.  But that’s what you get for proposing to your girlfriend on the cover of a national magazine.

–SNOOKI has decided NOT to marry Jeff, after he proposed in “Steppin’ Out” magazine.

–She posted the following yesterday on Twitter . . . quote, “Just want to set the record straight.  I’m single and I’m not going to get married.”

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WHAT ARE THE REAL CHANCES MICHAEL DOUGLAS WILL BEAT THROAT CANCER??

In a new interview with “People” magazine, MICHAEL DOUGLAS says, quote, “I’ll beat this” . . . referring, of course, to his throat cancer.

–Michael will undergo eight weeks of radiation and chemotherapy . . . (–he’s already completed his first week) . . . and doctors have said they expect him to make a full recovery.

–But he probably won’t be available to help promote the “Wall Street” sequel, “Wall Street:  Money Never Sleeps”.

(–It hits theaters on September 24th.)

–Meanwhile, on last night’s “Letterman”, Michael admitted that the cancer is at STAGE 4 . . . which is bad.  But it hasn’t spread down below his throat, which is good.  He claims he has an 80% chance of recovery.

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TROY POLAMALU’S HAIR HAS BEEN INSURED FOR $1 MILLION:

The long, luxurious locks of Pittsburgh Steelers safety TROY POLAMALU have their very own insurance policy.  Literally.

–As you probably know, Troy is a spokesman for Head & Shoulders.  Well, the company has taken out a $1 MILLION policy on Troy’s hair… just in case something should happen to it during the season.

–Head & Shoulders says that Troy’s sexy hair is so thick that it’s strong enough to hold 24,062 pounds… and if you laid it out end-to-end it would span 1,100 football fields.

(–Troy hasn’t cut his hair in SEVEN YEARS.  For those of you who may not have seen it, here’s a look at Troy’s unstoppable hair outside his helmet…)

Here’s the hottest selling mask this Halloween.  Click on the photo to buy…

PARIS HILTON HAS BEEN ARRESTED FOR COCAINE POSSESSION:

PARIS HILTON was arrested in Las Vegas Friday night for COCAINE POSSESSION.

–Police pulled over a black Escalade on the Las Vegas strip shortly before midnight, after they saw what they thought was POT SMOKE billowing out of the windows.

–Paris was inside the car, and her boyfriend Cy Waits was driving.  Police allegedly found cocaine in Paris’ purse, and hauled her in on a possession charge.  Cy was booked for DUI.

–Not surprisingly, Paris’ attorney is trying to downplay her arrest.

–He says, quote, “This matter will be dealt with in the courts, not in the media, and I encourage people not to rush to judgment until all of the facts have been dealt with in a court of law.”  (–Here’s Paris Hilton’s mugshot, in which she doesn’t appear the least bit worried . . .)

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PARIS’ GUN-WIELDING BEAU TO THE RESCUE!

TMZ is reporting that Paris Hilton’s latest boyfriend Cy Waits was at her house last week when a man tried to break in holding two knives, and Cy helped keep him out.

–According to law enforcement, after hearing noises coming from downstairs, Cy spotted Nathan Parada at the window with a large kitchen knife and a buck hunting knife and pulled a gun on him before he could get inside the home.

–Cy went outside and ordered Parada to drop the knives and lay on the ground, and kept him subdued until the cops came and arrested him.

–Parada told cops that hours before the incident he purchased a Star Map in order to find Paris’ home.

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THE SITUATION’S DANCING PROBLEM!

The Situation may have a little trouble Dancing with the Stars.

–Sources say scheduling conflicts with the last days of Jersey Shore tapings could give him significantly less time to practice for the show.  TMZ reports that the DWTS contestants will begin rehearsing today, but Jersey Shore is scheduled to tape until at least September 8th.

–ABC officially announces the “Dancing With the Stars” cast tonight.  The show is set to premiere on September 20th.

A MAN SWIMS ACROSS MONTEREY BAY TO RAISE AWARENESS OF THE FRAGILE STATE OF ITS SEA CREATURES . . . AND GETS MAULED BY JELLYFISH:

On Tuesday, 44-year-old Bruckner Chase of Santa Cruz, California, went on a 14-hour, 25-mile swim across Monterey Bay in California.  His goal was to raise awareness of the FRAGILE state of the sea creatures in the bay.

–Unfortunately for him, some of those sea creatures didn’t get the memo that they were supposed to be fragile.

–As Bruckner swam, he was MAULED by jellyfish.  They stung him and left huge, painful welts everywhere that wasn’t protected by his wetsuit:  On his neck, his face, his feet, his hands . . . and even the inside of his mouth and on his TONGUE.

–He says that with every stroke he took, he was basically trying to plow through a wall of jellyfish.  And, quote, “had I not been in a wetsuit, I would not have been able to survive.”

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DOCTORS REMOVE THE WORLD’S LARGEST TUMOR . . . A 51 POUNDER . . . FROM A WOMAN IN ARGENTINA

This is INSANE.  Doctors in Buenos Aires, Argentina, just removed the WORLD’S LARGEST TUMOR from a 54-year-old woman’s womb.  How large?  Try FIFTY-ONE POUNDS.

–The tumor was about the size of a large watermelon and had been growing inside of the woman for a year-and-a-half.  It was malignant, so it had to be removed . . . and took the team about four hours to get it out.

–The woman is currently recovering and is doing well.  (–Check out the photo of this INSANE tumor . . .but be careful if you have a problem with graphic material.  To me it looks like the doctor is holding up a 50-pound turkey that just came out of the oven.)

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ARE WE GOING TO END UP EATING THE 550 MILLION EGGS THAT WERE RECALLED????

If you somehow haven’t heard, more than 550 MILLION eggs have been recalled because they were at a high risk of being tainted with salmonella.  Today, we found out what’s going to happen to all those eggs.  You’re going to end up eating them.

–According to the FDA, the eggs are going to be pasteurized, which kills the salmonella.  And then, they’re going to be turned into liquid eggs and used by companies to make cookies, cakes, egg substitute, pet food and more.

–So, yeah, we all WILL end up eating the recalled eggs . . . we just won’t know it.

A THIEF WAS BUSTED FOR STEALING A FAMILY’S BAG…AFTER THEY SPOTTED HIM DOING IT IN THE BACKGROUND OF ONE OF THEIR PHOTOS:

Over the weekend, the Myers family from Bloomfield, New Jersey, was in Madison, Wisconsin, for a wedding.  On Saturday afternoon, around 2:45 P.M., the family posed in front of the Wisconsin state capitol building for a photo.

–And while the family posed for their nice family photo…someone STOLE THEIR BAG.

–They were REALLY upset…until they looked at the photo, and noticed a stranger in the background, stealing their bag DURING the photo.

–They called the police and showed them the photo, and the cops recognized the guy as a homeless man who loiters around the capitol building.

–The cops caught up with him a few blocks away.

–He told them he thought the bag was abandoned…although that story doesn’t REALLY hold up, because there was a wallet, cash, credit cards, you know…stuff that people don’t normally abandon.

–The Myers family got their bag back and Glenn was charged with misdemeanor theft.

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WHILE THE COPS TAKE A MAN’S REPORT ON HIS STOLEN CAR, THE CAR THIEF DRIVES BY IN THE CAR, BLASTING MUSIC!  YES GET READY FOR STUPID CRIMINALS!

On Monday morning, Sergio Vial of Allentown, Pennsylvania, called the police after he went outside to get in his car, and discovered it was missing.

–The cops went to his place to take his report.  And as they stood outside, getting the details from Sergio…they spotted his car.

–The thief happened to be driving the car down that street at that moment, with the windows down, BLASTING MUSIC.

–The police stopped him.  He turned out to be 39-year-old Preston Renninger, and he told them his friend had lent him the car.

–Preston was charged with receiving stolen property.

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CAREFUL LADIES, LOW RIDING SHORTS COULD LAND YOU IN JAIL

A woman in New Orleans has been thrown in jail ’cause her low-riding shorts were too revealing.
–23-year-old KIMBERLY SENETTE was in a courtroom with her brother, who was charged with carjacking.
–Kimberly wasn’t on trial herself.  But, Judge STEVEN WINDHORST took one look at her revealing outfit and charged her with contempt of court.  Kimberly was apparently decked out in low-hanging shorts and high-riding thong underwear.
–But, it wasn’t long before Kimberly changed clothes.  In fact, she spent the next 10-days in standard-issue prison garb.

­(And yet, Snooki is a a free woman.)

Pregnancy rumors continue to follow Mariah Carey, but no one is confirming the news.  Adding to the speculation of a possible pregnancy is People magazine, which has posted a photo of Mariah wearing a brown dress, reportedly made by the maternity fashion line called “A Pea In The Pod.”  Mariah Carey’s publicist, is commenting about the speculation — but confirms nothing…saying, quote, “Mariah is very superstitious and when the time is right for her and Nick to announce something, she will.”

Every Wednesday at 8:40, Guardian Angel Pet Rescue joins the Mike and Mandy show to showcase a special animal that needs a good home.

This week’s featured pet is Hailey.

Hailey is a 3 to 4 year female black Pug mix. She was rescued from the street with a bad case of heartworms but has since been treated and tested negative. She is very sweet and loving with people and good with most dogs. Every once in a while she will take a dislike to a small dog, but we are not sure what the common denominators are. Hailey is crate trained, house trained, spayed and is up-to-date on vaccinations. Hailey would make a great family companion.

If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.

For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here.

NEW JERSEY IS SPRAYING ITS LANDFILLS WITH A SPECIAL FRAGRANCE TO COVER UP THEIR HORRIBLE SMELL:

New Jersey is starting to smell WAY too much like trash.  And that’s not the setup to a “Jersey Shore” joke.  Literally, the state smells like garbage.

–It’s especially bad at the Middlesex County Landfill in East Brunswick, New Jersey.  More than 1,000 TONS of garbage is dumped there every day, and the people in the area say the smell has reached the point of being unbearable.

–So New Jersey decided to do what the people of New Jersey do when THEY smell bad:  Spray on some cologne or perfume.

–The Middlesex County Utilities Authority (MCUA) has started using a flatbed truck with nozzles attached to spray a special FRAGRANCE on the landfill.

–The director of the MCUA says, quote, “It has a pleasant, showery smell.  It’s a light scent.”

–So far the residents in nose-shot have given the plan mixed reviews. 

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EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE THE STUPID CRIMINALS PULL ONE OVER ON THE COPS

Boston police say a standoff with robbers holed up in an apartment finally ended –when they realized the building was completely empty.

–Dozens of police officers and a special operations team surrounded the building for four-hours. That’s because cops had received a tip that a pair of armed robbers were hiding out inside.  Residents were evacuated.  And, eventually cops busted into the apartment.

–That’s when they found out nobody was home.

–Now, they’re investigating whether the tip they received might have been false.

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A MAN DIDN’T NOTICE FOR FIVE YEARS THAT HE’D BEEN SHOT IN THE HEAD:

Earlier this week, a 35-year-old Polish guy living in Herne, Germany, went to the doctor thinking he had a cyst on the back of his head.

–When doctors did an X-ray, they discovered he didn’t have a cyst… he had a .22-caliber BULLET lodged in the back of his skull.  And it had been there for FIVE YEARS.

–The guy said he’d been at a New Year’s party five or six years ago, and felt a sharp pain in the back of his head.  But he was so intoxicated that he forgot about it the next day.  The doctors removed the bullet successfully.  (–Here’s the X-Ray…)

A MAN WITH TWO KNIVES TRIED TO GET INTO PARIS HILTON’S HOUSE YESTERDAY MORNING:

PARIS HILTON awoke at about 6:30 yesterday morning, only to discover a man with TWO KNIVES trying to get into her house.  Luckily, he tripped the alarm system, and police got there before he could get in.

–The perp was arrested on one count of felony burglary.  As of last night, he was being held on $50,000 bail. (–Here’s his mugshot from Nathan’s arrest last month for burglary, grand theft and vandalism…)

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THE LATEST “DANCING WITH THE STARS” RUMORS

The “Dancing with the Stars” cast will be officially announced during “Bachelor Pad” next Monday night… but in the meantime, the rumors continue to roll in.

–RadarOnline.com says that MICHAEL BOLTON… who was your mom’s favorite singer in the ’90s… has been in talks to do the show for about a month now.  Supposedly, he’s pretty excited about doing it.

–And “Access Hollywood” claims DAVID HASSELHOFF has signed on.

(–Other rumored “stars” include:  “Jersey Shore’s” Mike “The Situation”. . . singer BRANDY… and retired NFL quarterback Kurt Warner.)

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LINDSAY LOHAN IS OUT OF REHAB:

Judge Elden Fox was supposed to issue some kind of ruling yesterday regarding the LINDSAY LOHAN case.  He didn’t.

–Instead, he just sprung her from rehab.

–On Day 23 of what was supposed to be a 90-day stay, Lindsay checked out of UCLA Medical Center yesterday.

–It was the doctors at UCLA who told Judge Fox that Lindsay should be released.  They decided that Lindsay’s addiction and psychiatric problems were not nearly as bad as they’ve been depicted up to now.

-According to RadarOnline.com, Lindsay will continue to receive outpatient treatment two or three times a week at UCLA.

A BEIJING FREEWAY IS 10 DAYS INTO A TRAFFIC JAM . . . AND IT MAY NOT BE CLEARED UP FOR A FEW MORE WEEKS:

This is one of those things that would be earth-shattering news here in the U.S. . . . but just kinda makes sense in China.  Right now in Beijing, there are people who’ve been stuck in a 62-mile traffic jam FOR TEN DAYS.  With no end in sight.

–Chinese officials had to close one freeway because it had been so damaged that it was un-drivable.  That pushed all the traffic to another freeway, the Beijing-Tibet Expressway, on August 14th . . . and since then it’s been hopelessly jammed.

–According to officials, the traffic jam may not be fully cleared up until MID SEPTEMBER.  Local residents have been taking advantage of China’s new capitalism trend by selling noodles to stranded drivers . . . at inflated prices.

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A DRIVE-BY KIDNAPPING

Cops in Sweden responded to reports of a daring public kidnapping last weekend.

–Witnesses reported seeing several masked men drag a taxi driver from his car.  Then, they stuffed the guy in the trunk of another car and sped off.

–Police took the incident very seriously and spent several hours searching for the men.  But, when they finally tracked down the culprits, they found out the whole thing was a practical joke.

–It turns out it was the victim’s birthday and the masked thugs were just his friends.  Police have decided not to press charges.

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HOW MUCH DO YOU SUPPOSE THE WORLD’S MOST EXPENSIVE HOT DOG COSTS?

I could NEVER, EVER justify paying $69 for a hot dog.

–But a restaurant in New York called Serendipity 3 thinks people are willing to open their wallets for just about anything . . . so they’ve unveiled the WORLD’S MOST EXPENSIVE HOT DOG.  It costs $69 . . . not including tax and tip.

–The secret to jacking up the price?  FUNGUS AND GOOSE LIVER.  In other words, they take a foot-long hot dog and cover it with truffles and foie gras.  Then they serve it in a pretzel baguette that’s toasted in white truffle butter.

–And they serve it with Dijon mustard . . . accented with more truffles, naturally.

–Serendipity 3 is known for these kinds of stunts.  They’re also the home of the World’s Most Expensive Ice Cream Sundae . . . which is covered in gold flakes, is served in a gold goblet, and sells for $25,000.

TIGER WOODS AND ELIN NORDEGREN ARE OFFICIALLY DIVORCED:

TIGER WOODS and ELIN NORDEGREN finalized their divorce yesterday, in a courtroom in Panama City, Florida.

–Settlement terms were not disclosed, but sources say Elin probably walked away with AT LEAST $100 million . . . and possibly a lot more.

–It’s likely that Elin had to sign a confidentiality agreement to get the cash.  So don’t expect any tell-all interviews from her.

–Elin had signed a prenup, but it was renegotiated after she and the rest of the world found out about Tiger’s RESTLESS GROIN SYNDROME.

–One final note:  In the divorce documents, Elin asked that her maiden name be restored.

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DOES MILEY CYRUS SMOKE POT IN HER NEW MOVIE??

MILEY CYRUS engages in some pretty wild behavior in her upcoming movie, “LOL:  Laughing Out Loud”.

–To give you an idea of the “Wild Behavior,” Miley’s mother in the movie, played by DEMI MOORE has a line where she says, quote, “You’re my daughter, and I won’t let you turn into a porn star!”

–In a recent interview with MTV News, however, Demi said that Miley is, quote, “incredibly grounded” and nothing like her character.

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“THE SITUATION” WILL REPORTEDLY PULL DOWN $5 MILLION THIS YEAR:

Here’s your heartwarming back-to-school news of the day:  Even if your kids fall a little short scholastically, they still have a shot at success . . . because “Jersey Shore” stud MIKE “THE SITUATION” will reportedly pull down $5 MILLION this year.

–The “Hollywood Reporter” says The Situation’s ridiculous income includes:  Roughly $60,000 per episode of “Jersey Shore” . . . other “media opportunities” . . . and between $15,000 and $50,000 per event for appearances.

–His manager says, quote, “Our goal has always been to try to build a brand if the situation presented itself.”