Dirt Alert: Wednesday, 4/6/16

A ‘Down ‘N Dirty Donald Trump Quickie’

Donald Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame is routinely being defaced. We don’t know who pays for it to be routinely refurbished????

 

Gwyneth Paltrow And Chris Martin Are Almost Fully Divorced

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have apparently finished negotiating the terms of their divorce and are about to make it official.

Both parties are required to sign just one more document and then the divorce will become final.

Gwyneth and Chris announced their split in March 2014.

 

Amy Schumer is Mad “Glamour” Put Her in Its “Plus Size” Issue

“Glamour” magazine did a special “plus size” issue, and AMY SCHUMER’s name ended up on the cover.

They didn’t actually call her plus size, they just referred to her as one of the, quote, “Women Who Inspire Us”. Of course, the others on that list were Melissa McCarthy, Adele, and Ashley Graham, who ARE all plus size. And Amy wasn’t happy about it.

She Tweeted that there’s nothing wrong with being plus size, but she’s a size 6 to 8, and plus size is a 16. “Glamour” released a statement and pointed out that they didn’t call her plus size.

 

William Hung and Brian Dunkleman are Returning to “American Idol”

Tomorrow night’s “American Idol” finale will reportedly feature original co-host BRIAN DUNKLEMAN, who stupidly decided to walk away after the first season.

But even more importantly, She Bangs superstar WILLIAM HUNG is also coming back! We suppose that everyone is hoping and praying that he will sing.

And as we’ve heard, most of the winners will make an appearance, along with a lot of the first and second runners-up. SIMON COWELL, PAULA ABDUL, and RANDY JACKSON are all expected back too, even though Randy has said that he’s having trouble fitting it into his schedule.

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Freak Files: Monday, 4/4/16

A Chipotle Sign Crushes a Car

Chipotle almost killed a guy on Saturday.

On the plus side, it had nothing to do with tainted food!!! A Chipotle sign on a massive concrete post in Nora, Indiana fell over because of some high winds on Saturday afternoon . . . and it landed RIGHT on a Honda Accord with a guy inside.

Amazingly, he managed to get out with only some minor injuries.

Click here to see a picture of the car.

 

A Bank Robber Fails . . . and Tries to Say It Was an April Fools Joke

I give this woman credit for thinking on her feet. I mean, it didn’t work, but whatever.

A woman went to a bank in Lubbock, Texas on Friday afternoon, went up to a teller, put her fingers under her shirt to look like a gun, and said she wanted, quote, “all the money.”

The teller just stared at her and didn’t give her any money. So the woman said, “April Fools!” and then left empty handed.

The cops say whether or not it was actually an April Fools joke, quote, “it’s still a robbery.” They’re trying to track her down.

 

Surgeons Saved a Man’s Hand From Being Amputated by Sewing It Into His Stomach

This is truly FREAKY!

42-year-old Carlos Mariotti of Orleans, Brazil is a factory worker, and he recently had a horrible accident at work where all of the skin was ripped off his left hand. It looked like the hand was going to have to be amputated.

But his doctors thought of a crazy solution. They realized they could save the hand if they could keep it in a safe, sterile place. So they made a cut in Carlos’ stomach, turned it into a pouch, and sewed the hand inside.

The doctors say that in about six weeks, the hand should develop enough new tissue that they can take it out of his stomach and do a skin graft.

It won’t ever get its full function back, but they say, quote, “He will have a working hand . . . and at least this is a better quality of life compared to having an amputated hand.”

Click here for some pictures. The wound is blurred, but if you’re squeamish, you might not want to look.

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Dirt Alert: Monday, 4/4/16

Adam Levine Is Going To Be a Dad

Baby Bumps! ADAM LEVINE confirmed that he and Behati Prinsloo are expecting their first child in an Instagram post Saturday.

It’s a shot of Behati in a bikini, and he captioned it, quote, “My two favorite Laker fans.”

 

Drew Barrymore is Getting Her Third Divorce

DREW BARRYMORE and her husband WILL KOPELMAN are getting divorced after almost four years of marriage.

She’s 41, and he’s 38. According to a friend, they’d been having problems for a while, and couldn’t agree on where to live. Will’s an art consultant in New York, and Drew was spending more and more time at their place in L.A.

They have a three-year-old named Olive, and another daughter named Frankie, who turns two this month.

 

Mariah Carey Fired Her Team And Started Fresh

A few weeks ago we told you how Mariah Carey’s “team” was begging Mariah NOT to do a reality show – but Mariah chose to do one anyway.

Well, now it has been revealed that Mariah Carey was so “furious” at them that she fired EVERYONE and hired a brand-new team.

Mariah says, “I dismissed a majority of my team because I discovered that they didn’t have my best interests at heart. My new team are the top of the line in the entertainment business (and more importantly, in my life) and I am now much more financially successful and more organized than in the past.”

 

Justin Bieber Offering Refunds For Meet And Greets

Justin Bieber has been talking a lot of flack for refusing to meet with fans who purchased the $2,000 VIP package that included premium seats and a meet-and-greet with Justin.

At first, Justin was only offering fans a full refund if they forfeited their tickets to the concert as well.

Well, it’s amazing what a little bad press can do. The Bieb is now offering fans a “partial refund.”

They will get their money back for the meet-and-greet, but still pay-for (and keep) their concert ticket.

Justin still is not commenting on the situation.

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Dirt Alert: Friday, 4/1/16

Gwen Stefani Admits That She’s In Love With Blake Shelton

Love is knocking on Gwen Stefani’s front door.

During a recent interview with Vanity Fair, Gwen revealed that she’s definitely in love with her boyfriend, Blake Shelton.

When the magazine asked Gwen if she’s in love with Blake, Gwen said, “Yeah, for sure….I feel like I’m in an amazing songwriting place…I’m just doing what I want to do…I’m always looking for the next song, and now I don’t have to be insecure or write about heartache.”

 

A Golden State Warriors Player Was Told He’d Been Cut, But It Was Only An April Fools’ Joke

The Golden State Warriors are on an AMAZING 68-7 regular season run right now . . . and anyone would want to be a part of that.

However, Andre Iguodala of the Golden State Warriors played a mean early April Fools’ Day prank on backup center Festus Ezeli, where he made him think the team had cut him, just weeks before the playoffs.

He even had a fake radio broadcast made. So everybody together now, “April Fools!!”

 

There Will Be No “American Idol” Tour This Year

“American Idol” is ending its run next week, and when it’s over, it’s over . . . because for the first time, none of the contestants will be hitting the road for a live tour.

Meanwhile, “Idol’s” final Top Three was revealed last night. It’s Dalton Rapattoni, Trent Harmon, and La’Porsha Renae. The big send-off is next week, with a special on Tuesday, the performance show on Wednesday, and the finale on Thursday.

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Dirt Alert: Thursday, 3/31/16

Fabio’s Family in Italy Makes Him Bring Them Tubs of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter

What a day, what a day, what a day!!! Today we welcome FABIO back to tabloid news!!

When FABIO goes home to Italy to visit his family, he’s under strict orders to bring them something they can’t get over there: 25 to 30 tubs of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

He says, quote, “They don’t sell it in Italy and my parents are addicted to it. They put it on pasta with some Parmesan cheese.”

On a related note, yesterday was the 17th anniversary of the time Fabio got hit in the face by a bird while riding a rollercoaster at Busch Gardens in Virginia.

(Here’s video of the bloody aftermath.)

 

So Much For Mariah Carey’s “Small” Wedding

Remember when Mariah Carey said that her upcoming wedding to billionaire James Packer would be a ‘small, intimate event’?

Yeah, apparently she’s changed her mind. Mariah is planning to blow it up by getting married on Barbuda Island. She plans to fly her guests to the island in a private jet.

The wedding seems to have a carnival theme, with Mariah hiring clowns, acrobats, baby elephants and white tigers to be at the wedding.

Animal lovers have created a petition urging Mariah not to traumatize baby elephants and white tigers at her wedding, pointing out that the animals are endangered and should be left alone. The petition has 81,000 signatures so far.

 

You Can Still Get a Meet-And-Greet With Justin Bieber if You’re Rich and Famous

We told you yesterday that JUSTIN BIEBER recently canceled all the meet-and-greets for the remainder of his tour, saying they left him feeling “drained and unhappy.”

But the people who are REALLY unhappy are the fans who paid 2-grand for the VIP package that includes the meet-and-greet. A lot of them claim they can’t get their money back without canceling the whole package, which includes their concert tickets.

Well, it turns out you can still get a meet-and-greet with Justin . . . if you’re rich and famous. Like WAYNE GRETZKY’s 13-year-old daughter. Justin posed for a picture with her at a show last weekend. A lot of fans who saw the pic weren’t happy.

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Wet Nose Wednesday: Domino

Every Wednesday at 8:40, Guardian Angel Pet Rescue joins the Mike and Mandy show to showcase a special animal that needs a good home.

This week’s featured pet is Domino!

Domino

Domino was found in the streets of Memphis 3 years ago. He is a Dalmatian mix and weighs about 45 lbs. He is about 4 yrs old, house trained, and gets along with dogs and cats. Domino is a quiet dog, does not need other dogs for company and is happy alone and indoors — so, he would be fine in an apartment or with an older person. Domino has a slight thyroid deficiency and has to take 2 pills a day costing less than $30 a month. As long as he takes his meds he is just fine. Domino is friendly and a great companion, someone wonderful to come home to.

If you would like to adopt this week’s pet…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.


For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here
.

We couldn’t do Wet Nose Wednesday without the generous support of our sponsor, Dixie Memorial Pet Cemetery.

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Freak Files: Wednesday, 3/30/16

A Guy Just Took One of the Craziest Selfies Ever With the Man Hijacking His Plane

This MIGHT just be the craziest selfie anyone’s ever taken, and that’s not an exaggeration.

A man named Seif Mustafa hijacked an EgyptAir flight from Alexandria to Cairo yesterday morning because he wanted to see his ex-wife in Cyprus. And he had a BOMB strapped around his waist.

26-year-old Ben Innes of Leeds, England was a passenger on the flight and when the flight landed in Cyprus and swarms of cops surrounded it, Ben asked Seif if they could take a picture together.

Seif was ok with it, so Ben posed next to him with a grin on his face while a flight attendant took the picture.

You get a perfect look at the bomb in the photo, which turned out to be fake, by the way. Seif surrendered after a few hours and he was arrested. An Egyptian official said, quote, “He’s not a terrorist, he’s an idiot.”

Click here to see the selfie.

 

AR-160329591A Guy Steals Two Wallets . . . But Drops His Own at the Scene

You know, for a wallet thief, this guy is incredibly careless with wallets.

28-year-old Devonte Pace of Panama City, Florida pulled a gun on two guys outside a bar back in January and demanded their wallets, but in the process of stealing their two wallets, Devonte dropped HIS.

The cops found it, compared the photo on his ID to the surveillance video, and linked him to the robbery. He was arrested last week for armed robbery and grand theft. Stupid Criminals!!!!

 

richard-ANcA Guy Drives Six Miles With His Wife on the Roof of His Car

So if we have our younger audience in attendance this morning, this is why your Auntie Mandy and you Uncle Mike always say, “Don’t drink and drive, kids!”

69-year-old Richard Addy of Stuart, Florida and his 50-year-old wife Elizabeth were at a bar on Monday night. They had a few too many, wound up getting into an argument, so Richard decided to leave without her.

But he was either too drunk or mad or SOMETHING to realize that Elizabeth had climbed onto the roof of his 2011 Toyota Sequoia. And apparently he didn’t hear her banging on the roof and screaming as he drove home.

After six miles, Richard drove past a cop, who pulled him over for, you know, having a woman on top of his car. And believe it or not, Richard was only charged with misdemeanor reckless driving and permitting a passenger to ride on the exterior of a vehicle.

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Dirt Alert: Wednesday, 3/30/16

Patty Duke Has Died at 69

Another great celebrity has passed.

PATTY DUKE died yesterday at the age of 69, from a ruptured intestine. Patty won an Oscar for playing Helen Keller in “The Miracle Worker”, and played identical cousins on “The Patty Duke Show” in the ’60s.

She was also the mother of SEAN ASTIN from “The Goonies” and “Lord of the Rings”.

 

Is Lamar Odom Still Drinking?

LAMAR ODOM was at a bar late last Saturday night with some friends.

He bought a few drinks, although it’s unclear if they were all for him or if he shared them with his buddies.

I’m not judging, but it seems to be creating tension between him and KHLOE KARDASHIAN. On tonight’s “Kocktails with Khloe”, Khloe says that she’s not back with Lamar romantically, and that she hasn’t kissed him in “years.”

(Here’s a shot of Lamar at the bar, and here’s him going to church the next day. . . in almost the same outfit.)

 

William Shatner is Being Sued for $170 Million by a Man Who Claims to Be His Son

A man who claims to be WILLIAM SHATNER’s son is suing The Shat for $170 MILLION.

His name is Peter Sloan. Or at least it WAS. He changed it to Peter SHATNER. He’s 59 years old.

Peter says his mother had an affair with Shatner in Toronto, but gave him up for adoption when he was five days old. He supposedly learned that Shatner was his dad.

Peter says he met Shatner in 1984, and Shatner ADMITTED he was Peter’s dad. But a week later, Shatner’s rep denied it, and told Peter to hit the road. Peter is demanding that Shatner take a DNA test and stop claiming he’s NOT his father.

Shatner’s rep says, quote, “Mr. Shatner is aware of the lawsuit, but there’s nothing there because he isn’t his father.”

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Dirt Alert: Tuesday, 3/29/16

Elton John’s Former Bodyguard is Suing Him for Sexual Harassment

A former bodyguard for ELTON JOHN is suing him for sexual harassment and battery.

His name is Jeffrey Wenninger and he has expressed a number of incidences, all very graphic, I might add, about how Elton made sexual advances on him which have led to this law suit.

(–We have a picture of Wenninger and Elton here.)

 

1.2-Million People At A Rock Concert???

The final attendance tally for THE ROLLING STONES free concert in Havana, Cuba on Friday is 1.2-million people.

The band’s official website says 700-thousand fans were on the field and in the stands of the Ciudad Deportiva de la Habana soccer stadium, with another 500-thousand folks enjoying the music outside the venue.

 

More Proof That The “Bieb” Is A Tool

JUSTIN BIEBER fans who paid $2,000-dollars for a VIP package in Las Vegas over the weekend that included a meet-and-greet were very disappointed.

The “Bieb” announced last week that he didn’t want to see fans backstage anymore because it (quote), “drains him” emotionally. So fans had to settle for a photo with a cardboard cutout of him!

The only way to get a full refund for the $2,000-dollar VIP package was to give back the concert tickets too.

 

Celebrating Gary Shandling

A few dozen of GARRY SHANDLING’s nearest and dearest gathered at his home last weekend to engage in one of his favorite passions –basketball!

Apparently, Shandling was a huge fan of the game, so SARAH SILVERMAN, RYAN PHILLIPPE, BILL MAHER, KEVIN NEALON, JESSE BRADFORD and other pals had a pick-up game at his home, then hit up Craig’s restaurant in Los Angeles to celebrate their friend.

Garry passed away suddenly at the age of 66 last week and a cause of death has not been determined, but his rep claims it’s probably due to a massive heart attack.


FREAK FILES—FREAK FILES—FREAK FILES

 

From The Boughs of Human Excess!

Just in case you didn’t get your fill of Easter candy over the weekend, here’s a video for you.

 

The viral clip shows competitive eater MATT STONIE downing 200 marshmallow peeps in around 14-minutes. Stonie –known on YouTube as MEGATOAD— doubled his previous record and swallowed 56-hundred calories in the process.

 

That’s nearly 14-hundred grams of sugar in one setting. About halfway through the challenge, Stonie comments, “My tongue is so saturated with sugar!”

 

His previous eating stunts include wolfing a five-pound burrito, downing 182 strips of bacon, and gulping down seven McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes in a row.

 

Cops Posted a Fake Warning About Ebola-Tainted Meth, and Caught Someone When They Brought Their Drugs in for Testing

Police in Granite Shoals, Texas posted a fake warning on Facebook last Tuesday, which said batches of meth that were being sold in the area had tested positive for EBOLA.

 

We’re assuming this isn’t possible. Don’t you have to come into contact someone who has Ebola to catch it? But the cops suggested that anyone who recently bought some drugs should bring it to the station, so they could scan it for the virus.

 

Somehow that actually WORKED. A 29-year-old woman named Chasity Hopson showed up on Thursday with a bag of meth she wanted them to test.

Stupid Criminals!!!

 

She’s facing charges for possession of a controlled substance.

 

Follow The Poop!

Your dog’s DNA is going to be on file if you live in a posh Chicago high-rise.

 

The management at the Luxe apartments are ticked at residents who don’t pick up their dogs poop. They want to start comparing the DNA to match the dog so the offending canine and owner can be fined.

 

Residents face up to $250 dollar fines for each offending offense.

 

Extras:

 

A fire station in Utah went up in flames Monday night. All nine firefighters who were sleeping inside had to run outside and fight the fire in their UNDERWEAR.

 

A guy in Florida was caught on camera slashing his ex-girlfriend’s tires last week, and covered his face so she couldn’t I.D. him. But she did anyway . . . because he recently had hip surgery, and she recognized his limp.

 

Two guys in Arizona started tossing bricks of marijuana out their windows during a high-speed chase with cops last week. And five cars that weren’t involved pulled over to pick them up, then took off.

 

A guy in Florida ran from the cops on Sunday, and actually managed to lose them by hiding under a trailer. But they eventually found him . . . after he fell asleep and started SNORING.

 

On Saturday, a guy in Florida set off a firecracker inside a Walmart to distract security, so he could steal stuff. But it didn’t work . . . the explosion started a small fire, and they’re charging him with arson on top of theft.

 

A 57-year-old in Nebraska was arrested for DUI on Monday night . . . after police saw him driving with four flat tires and a deployed airbag.

 

A breakfast place at a mall in Australia can’t serve BACON anymore, because the smell kept wafting into a bridal shop next door . . . and made all the wedding dresses smell like bacon.

 

Last week, a guy in Arizona was pulled over for speeding, but he claimed to be a doctor on his way to a nearby hospital. The only problem was, the town he said he was headed to doesn’t HAVE a hospital. He was arrested!!

 

The government in Thailand is going to start paying police officers NOT to accept bribes. In other words, they’re bribing them.

 

A 50-year-old woman in Ireland was busted last week for dealing cocaine at a BINGO HALL.

A 16-year-old in Colorado booked a hotel room with a stolen credit card. When the cops came to arrest him, he got away by tying bed sheets together and repelling four floors down the side of the building.

 

A woman in Massachusetts crashed her car into a building on Tuesday, and immediately got treated at the scene . . . because the building she crashed into happened to be a HOSPITAL.

 

A guy in Gainesville, Florida was arrested on Sunday for stealing beer from a CVS. And he tried to get out of it by claiming he didn’t technically leave the store with it . . . he just took it to the bathroom and CHUGGED it.

 

Trying to unload real estate in Detroit is still so impossible that someone posted a listing on the website Zillow.com . . . offering to trade their three-bedroom HOUSE for an iPhone 6.

 

A guy in Florida yelled “you missed me” during a shootout with police on Sunday. And their next round of shots KILLED him.

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Dirt Alert: Monday, 3/28/16

Celebrities Misbehaving – Madonna The Parking Diva

MADONNA isn’t making many new friends in her swanky Upper East Side neighborhood.

Apparently Madonna is going all diva by making and posting signs that read: “Tenant Parking Only” installed on the street in front of her home, despite the fact that they’re public spots and she’s got no claim to the property.

To make matters worse, she’s accused of embossing “NO PARKING” on the curb and painted it yellow, too. Word is someone from the Department of Transportation was on the case and ordered her people to remove the signs ASAP.

 

Hugh Jackman Had to Rescue His Kids from a Riptide

Is it just me, or does it seem like everything in Australia is dangerous?

Poisonous snakes, poisonous spiders, poisonous insects, poisonous kangaroos. Even the WATER wants you dead.

Hugh and his family were swimming at Bondi Beach in Sydney on Saturday, when his 15-year-old son Oscar and 10-year-old daughter Ava got caught in a riptide. He had to jump in the water and pull them to safety.

A few other people helped him, and then Hugh motioned to other people to come in out of the water because the conditions were getting dangerous. It was so bad that the beach had to be closed down.

Local news crews interviewed some of the witnesses, but Hugh was still too rattled to talk. His rep says, quote, “Hugh and his family are 100 percent fine. It looks a lot more dramatic than it was.”

You’ll find videos of Hugh in action here and here.

 

Alicia Keys and Miley Cyrus Are Joining “The Voice” Next Season

There will be TWO female coaches on “The Voice” for the first time ever next season, and they aren’t Christina Aguilera and Gwen Stefani. Instead, they’re getting some new blood: MILEY CYRUS and ALICIA KEYS.

But they aren’t totally new to the show. Alicia served as a mentor for Pharrell’s team a couple years ago and Miley is an adviser this season.

Adam Levine and Blake Shelton will be back as the other two coaches. They’ve been onboard since the show started. Season 11 will air this fall.

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Dirt Alert: Friday, 3/25/16

Garry Shandling Has Died

GARRY SHANDLING died suddenly at his home yesterday morning. He was 66.

According to reports, he suffered a massive heart attack. He called 911 himself but fell unconscious while he was on the line. When the paramedics showed up, no one else was home so they had to kick down the door.

Gary became a regular stand-up comic on “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson”, and was a contender to replace him. He didn’t get the job, of course, but it did lead to a slew of other successful projects such as “The Larry Sanders Show” on HBO.

During his three-decade career, Garry was nominated for 19 Primetime Emmy Awards and two Golden Globe Awards, but only won one Emmy for co-writing the series finale of “The Larry Sanders Show”.

 

Ted Cruz Tells Donald Trump to Leave His Wife “The Hell Alone”

Donald Trump may have started something with TED CRUZ that’s going to end in a FISTFIGHT.

Obviously, it’s over this wife stuff. After Cruz warned Trump about going after his wife HEIDI, Donald re-Tweeted a meme showing a very unflattering picture of Heidi side-by-side with a hot picture of HIS wife MELANIA.

And Ted went OFF. He said, quote, “It’s not easy to tick me off. But you mess with my wife, you mess with my kids, that’ll do it every time. Donald, you’re a sniveling coward, and leave Heidi the hell alone.”

Then a reporter asked Ted if he’ll support Donald as the Republican nominee. Ted refused to answer. He just said over and over again that Trump won’t be the nominee, because he’s going to beat him.

 

Orlando And Katy: K-I-S-S-I-N-G

ORLANDO BLOOM and KATY PERRY are still madly in lust.

Last week we told you about the two of them smooching it up in Malibu, California, and the duo headed to Santa Barbara for a relaxing weekend getaway.

The word is that they’re quite serious, and we have the proof! Apparently they have keys to one another’s homes, and now Katy refers to Bloom as. . . . . her boyfriend!

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Ballpark Food

Baseball stadiums are really taking over from state fairs as the best places to find INSANE, unhealthy food monstrosities.

The Atlanta Braves just announced that when the baseball season starts, they’ll be selling a new cheeseburger…that uses two PIZZAS as buns.

It’s called the Burgerizza.  It’s got a 20-ounce burger patty, five slices of cheddar cheese, and several strips of bacon, with two eight-inch pepperoni pizzas as the buns.  It’ll sell for $26 and, in theory, it’s meant to be shared. (Click here for a photo.)

Meanwhile, at PNC Park, home of the Pittsburgh Pirates, is now selling the Cracker Jack & Mac Dog. It’s a hotdog topped with mac and cheese, caramel sauce, Cracker Jacks and jalapeno peppers.

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