Freak Files: Friday, 5/22/15

Stupid Criminals Picks The Wrong Woman To Attack

A man in England picked the wrong woman to attack.

39-year-old Mark Willis jumped out from behind a bush and attacked an un-named woman. What Mark didn’t know is that the woman had been taking kickboxing lessons for 2 years, and wasted no time kicking his butt!!!

She cursed him out, then tried to break his arm with an arm lock. That didn’t work, so she put him in a scissor-like hold around his neck until he passed out. Then, she called the cops.

Mark was just convicted of assault, and the judge ordered that he pay $785 paid to the woman in restitution.

 

Champion Liar Tells a Great Story To Win A Lying Contest

Here’s a guy from Burlington, Wis. Gordon Zwicky’s outrageous tale about his trip to Florida earned him top honors in this year’s Burlington Liars Club contest.

Zwicky, who’s 72, beat out 299 other entries from 31 states and Canada. Zwicky claimed he and his wife, Dorothy, won the lottery and decided to drive to Florida. Their neighbor told them they would be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs.

Thirty miles from home they saw a sign that said, ‘Clean Restrooms Ahead.’ Two months later they arrived in Florida,’ the tale read. By that time, they had cleaned 450 restrooms using 267 rolls of paper towels, three cases of bowl cleaner and 86 bottles of Windex.

They were so tired, they immediately left for home.

 

Don’t Blame Me, I’m a Faux Canadian!

It’s no secret. People around the world hate American tourists. So if you want to travel abroad but don’t want to be tagged as an American, try this.

A New Mexico T-shirt company suggests going Canadian. For $24.95, T-Shirt-King-dot-com offers a “Go Canadian” package that includes a Canadian flag T-shirt, a Canadian flag lapel pin and a Canadian patch for luggage or a backpack.

The “Go Canadian” idea emerged after a staffer had heard about someone being harassed about U-S politics during a recent overseas trip.

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Freak Files: Thursday, 5/21/15

An Update On the Man Arrested For Saving An Overheated Dog!

An army veteran in Georgia who smashed a car’s windows to save a trapped dog is now off the hook.

Authorities have dropped charges against 46-year-old MICHAEL HAMMONS who broke the glass of a Mustang convertible to save an overheated Yorkshire terrier in a mall parking lot.

The owner of the vehicle demanded that cops arrest Hammons, which they did. But the district attorney for the Superior Court of Athens-Clarke County dropped all charges Monday.

 

Another Follow-Up: The Guy Who Was Busted For Having 17 Girlfriends Has Been Arrested For Fraud

Remember the guy in China who got into a car accident last month, and was busted for having SEVENTEEN girlfriends when they all showed up at the hospital?

That was the first time they all found out about each other. Well, now it turns out he wasn’t just messing with their emotions . . . he was also messing with their MONEY.

Ever since his girlfriends busted him, they’ve been in a chat room together that they made called the “Revenge Alliance.” And they figured out that he’d been borrowing money from most of them and never paying it back.

So, he was just arrested for fraud.

His name is Yuan. Click here to see his photo.

 

A Girl’s Sweet 16 Is Ruined When It Starts Raining Human Waste

There’s a girl named Jacinda Cambray in Levittown, Pennsylvania, and she had her sweet 16 birthday party on Sunday night.

Everything was going great until it started raining. Not your normal kind of rain though. Apparently a plane was flying overhead and emptied out its waste . . . which showered down on the 40 people at the party.

Luckily, everyone at the party was under a canopy, you know, one of those big party tents that you can rent. However, the “rain” still made quite a mess.

There were about five planes flying in the area at the time, and the FAA is still trying to figure out which one dropped its waste over Jacinda’s party. They aren’t allowed to do that, by the way. Airplanes have to get rid of their waste at airports.

Click here to see some pictures of the party.

 

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Freak Files: Wednesday, 5/20/15

There’s a Cell Phone the Size of a Credit Card, and It Only Makes Calls

For the past ten years, it’s been a race to see just how many features could be packed into a cell phone. Until now.

There’s a product up on Kickstarter right now called the Light Phone, and it’s the exact OPPOSITE of your current smart phone. It’s the size of a credit card, it fits in your wallet, and it only has ONE function: Phone calls.

It won’t text, email, tweet, play games, or stream movies. It just lets you make and receive phone calls.

It works like a prepaid cell phone, so you pay to load up the SIM card with minutes. You can also leave your regular phone at home and have it forward calls to your Light Phone, so you never miss an important call.

You can get it for $100 by going to Kickstarter.com and searching for “light phone.” Unfortunately they won’t be ready to ship until a year from now.

We have some pics of the Light Phone…just click here.

 

Stupid Criminal: Man Calls 911 To Report That Wife Stole His Cocaine

39-year old Robert Collins, of Alliance, Ohio isn’t exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer…because last week he called 9-1-1 to report that his wife had….STOLEN HIS COCAINE!!!

Well, after the police stopped laughing, they finally showed up at their house and found Robert, who was also wanted on a warrant for failing to pay fines on a previous case.

Robert didn’t have any cocaine on him….probably because his wife stole it…but he did have a glass pipe and some marijuana, so he was arrested.

Stupid Criminals!!!

He could face up to 60 days in jail and $500 in fines.

 

When We Do Finally Meet Aliens, They’ll Be the Size of Bears

A mathematician and cosmologist at the University of Barcelona in Spain ran the numbers, and he says there’s a very high probability that the first aliens we meet will be the size of BEARS.

He says the majority of planets that could support life would be smaller than Earth. They’d have fewer living creatures than we do, and the ones that could potentially travel to other planets would be about 692 pounds.

Of course, this whole thing is based on a LOT of assumptions, theories, and probabilities. The odds just say that an alien would be pretty bit, so try to look surprised.

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Freak Files: Tuesday, 5/19/15

A Guy Blows Off Steam by Crashing His Truck Through His Own House

A guy named John Jones Jr. was at his house outside Atlanta on Thursday, arguing with his wife on the phone.

It’s not clear what the fight was about, but when he hung up, he needed to blow off some steam. So he got in his truck . . . and plowed it through their HOUSE.

He started in their backyard, crashed through one wall, drove through their living room, crashed through another wall, and ended up in their front yard.

No one else was home, so no one got hurt. And he told the local news he doesn’t regret it, because he’s a contractor who’s been out of work for a year-and-a-half. So at least he has a project to work on now.

No word on how his wife reacted, but the good news is, the local police won’t be filing any charges against John because, technically, it’s not illegal to drive a truck through your own house!!!

Check out a photo of John and the house here by clicking here.

 

Pet Parrot Won’t Stop Cursing In Spanish

A woman in California, is fed up with her neighbor’s parrot, and not just because it barks, meows and makes sounds like a drill.

The bird also allegedly squawks vulgar words in Spanish. Jessica Baca says that the bird curses all day long and she is concerned because her grandchildren have started repeating what the parrot says.

Animal Services Supervisor Ben Miller said that they can’t prove the bird is swearing because they don’t have any bilingual staff members, so at this time there is nothing they can do about it.

 

Vet Finds 19 Live Rifle Rounds In Dog’s Stomach

An Arkansas veterinarian saved a dog’s life after the animal ate 23 live rifle rounds.

Benno, the 4-year-old dog, had surgery last week to remove the .308 caliber ammunition from his stomach. Owner Larry Brassfield says Benno has eaten socks, magnets, and marbles, but he didn’t expect the animal would bother with a bag of bullets by his bed.

Larry and his wife realized Benno needed medical attention after the pet vomited up four rounds. Veterinarian Sarah Sexton removed 17 rounds from Benno’s stomach. Larry says he won’t leave ammo lying around anymore but isn’t optimistic that Benno will start sticking to dog food.

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Freak Files: Monday, 5/18/15

An Entire Funeral Procession Gets Pulled Over

One California Highway Patrol officer is in big trouble for pulling over 100 cars that were traveling too slowly on the freeway.

Turns out it was a funeral procession heading to the famous Forest Lawn Cemetery in the Hollywood Hills. The lead traffic motorcycle was pulled over so the entire procession followed him.

The procession ended up being an hour late for the funeral service and some people didn’t even make it. The CHP has extended their deepest sympathies to the family for the inconvenience.

 

MugshotUPS Delivered a Four-Pound Package of Weed to a Guy’s House While the Cops Were Searching It For Drugs

The timing here almost is just too good to be true.

The police in Akron, Ohio suspected 46-year-old Andrew Palmer was dealing drugs, so they went to his house on a Tuesday afternoon last month. And they were right to be suspicious . . . but Andrew didn’t have any drugs there at the TIME, so he let them in to search his house.

And while they were rooting around in there, UPS showed up with a package for Andrew, with four pounds of MARIJUANA inside. Oooops!!! So he was arrested for drug trafficking.

 

A Woman Playing a Computer Game Gave Birth at Café And Kept On Playing

A 24-year-old pregnant woman was playing an online game at an Internet cafe in Nanchang, China last week, when suddenly she GAVE BIRTH. Right there on the floor of the cafe.

Other people heard her newborn daughter crying and ran over to help, but the woman turned them down . . . and went RIGHT BACK to her game. So the other people wrapped up the baby in a blanket and called for an ambulance.

Her family and her boyfriend went to the hospital to meet the baby, but there’s no word if the woman joined them.

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Freak Files: Friday, 5/15/15

The Cat With the World’s Loudest Purr

A 13-year-old cat in England just made the Guinness Book of World Records.

MERLIN the cat has the loudest purr in the world. Guinness just certified the kitty’s rumble at a whopping 67.68 decibels. For comparison, that’s louder than the average human speaking voice and about the same volume as someone playing piano.

Owner TRACY WESTWOOD says Merlin’s noisy purr causes a lot of confusion when she’s talking to people on the phone. She explains, “I tell them it’s the cat but I don’t know if they believe me.”

 

Stupid Criminals & DUI’s

An officer pulled over 33-year-old CATERIA THOMAS because her car had expired plates and he noticed a child bouncing up and down, obviously not buckled in.

The officer said she had glassy eyes, smelled of alcohol and get this, she was breast-feeding another kid when she got pulled over!!! She failed a field sobriety test and refused to take a Breathalyzer, explaining that she said she hadn’t been drinking. She was, quote, “just eating hamburgers with whiskey on them.”

Stupid Criminals!

She was arrested on DUI, driving without a valid license, and child acts that could result in harm.

 

Is Your Surgeon Texting While Operating On You?

A woman in Jordan gave birth via C-section and ended up with a vibrating stomach.

36-year-old HANAN MAHMOUD ABDUL KARIM went back to the hospital complaining of strange vibrating sensations. An x-ray revealed a cell phone was left behind in her stomach.

Doctors performed emergency surgery to remove the device. It’s thought the doctor who did the C-section might have left the phone behind, but, it’s unclear if anyone has been reprimanded for the error.

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Freak Files: Thursday, 5/14/15

What’s That Dead Body Doing Rolling Down The Street?

In Australia, the back of a hearse from the Pacific Memorials funeral home opened up in traffic and a gurney with a body strapped to it rolled out.

Rain was pouring down as onlookers pointed and gawked and wondered why a dead person covered in a sheet would be in the middle of the street. The wasn’t sure what happened but apparently there’s a faulty latch on the rear door.

Fortunately, although plenty of people were freaked out, even more jumped in to help the driver get the body back into the car without incident.

 

Guy Saves A Dog From Hot Car, Gets Arrested For It

In Georgia, it is legal to break a window to free a child in a hot car but it’s not legal to save a dog!

Military veteran Michael Hammons found this out the hard way when he was arrested after saving a dog trapped in a hot car outside of a shopping center this weekend. Michael came across a group of people outside a Ford Mustang who were worried about the dog trapped inside. The dog was crying and was in obvious distress.

So, Michael broke a window in the car in order to save the dog. Then, he took it into the shad and gave it bottled water.

Well, the Mustang owner was furious and demanded that Hammons be charged with trespassing and destruction of private property. Police say they had no choice but to arrest Michael.

 

A Toy Dart Up A Man’s Nose For 40 Years!

Your nose is stuffed and you just keep blowing it and blowing it but it just won’t clear.

It goes on for years. A man in England, who regularly had all those symptoms, can finally breathe easy after he sneezed out the cause – part of a toy dart that had been stuck up a nostril for more than 40 years.

STEVE EASTON, who’s 51, would sniffle or even have headaches but just thought it was allergies.   One day he had a sneezing fit and out flew the sucker tip of a dart. His mother told Steve that when he was seven, they took him to the hospital because they thought he had inhaled it but the doctors didn’t find anything.

Steve says he’s feeling fine, no different than before, minus the constant sniffles.

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Freak Files: Wednesday, 5/13/15

Did The Jetsons Have Parachutes On Their Flying Cars?

A future with flying cars isn’t too far off, but we still have some kinks to workout. A test flight for a flying car ended in tears in Slovakia.

According to eyewitnesses, the hybrid car-plane experienced technical problems an altitude of one-thousand feet and went into a tailspin. Luckily, driver STEFAN KLEIN used an emergency parachute and escaped unhurt as the craft slammed into the ground.

 

Woman Gives Birth On An Air Canada Flight, Didn’t Know She Was Pregnant!

Big event on an Air Canada flight from Calgary, Canada to Tokyo when a woman –who says she didn’t even know she was pregnant– gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday –Mother’s Day.

ADA GUAN, the 23-year-old mom, says she’d recently been to her doctor for a routine checkup, but he missed her pregnancy. And a pregnancy test she took reportedly came back negative.

A spokeswoman for Air Canada says there was a doctor on board the aircraft who identified himself when the crew paged for assistance, and Guan gave birth in first class.

 

Don’t Rob A Subway Or You’ll Get Sprayed With DNA!

At Subway, you can get a five dollar foot long and someone’s DNA all over you.

The sub shop is getting a new security system that sprays DNA on a robbery suspect as they exit the store. The Intruder Security System is first being used in a Knoxville, Tennessee store.

The system works with a mechanism above the door. In case of an emergency like a robbery, “something” tips off the mechanism and it releases a spray of traceable DNA.

Each store gets it’s own unique DNA spray, which stays on your skin for 7 weeks and you can’t wash it off. It can be seen under a special black light, so if you’re suspected of robbing a Subway, they put you under the black light and wha-la!

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Freak Files: Tuesday, 5/12/15

A Woman Gets Lost During a Race and Survives For 24 Hours by Drinking Her Own Breast Milk

29-year-old Susan O’Brien of Wellington, New Zealand was running in a race on Sunday morning.

It went through a forest, and at some point she went off the trail and got lost, like, REALLY lost. She realized she was stuck in the middle of the forest with no way to call for help . . . so she went into survival mode. She dug a hole and covered herself with DIRT to stay warm . . . and she drank her own BREAST MILK to survive.

It took rescue crews about 24 hours to find her . . . but she managed to make it through the cold night in the forest thanks to the dirt and the milk. After she was rescued, she immediately breast fed her eight-month-old daughter . . . and now she’s recovering.

Click here for some photos of her.

 

phone-KvOA Guy Leaves His Phone Behind When He Mugs Someone . . . Then Calls the Cops to Get It Back

We’ve had Stupid Criminals before, but you know you’re an idiot when your own lawyer calls you STUPID in court.

25-year-old Paul Knight of Sunderland, England mugged a woman back in March. He fought with her to get her purse, knocked her over, and ran away with it. But . . . he dropped his PHONE in the process.

When he got home, he realized it was missing . . . and figured the cops would pick it up while they were investigating the mugging. So, he actually CALLED the police station and asked if he could get his phone back.

The cops said, “Sure! Come on in.” And when he did they arrested him.

Stupid Criminals!

He was in court this week and his lawyer tried to get the judge to show some leniency by pointing out just how, quote, “incompetent” and “stupid” Paul is. But it didn’t work. He was sentenced to two years and four months in jail.

 

Senior Prank Forces Entire District To Cancel School

Taylor Monroe, Stewart Parrott, Justin Weekly, and Anthony Esposito, are accused of letting the air out of 24 school buses’ tires by breaking off the valve stems.

That’s the whole fleet of buses. Then, they wrote on the parking lot in chalk, “You have been pranked by seniors 2015. To have school or to not have school?”

The senior prank led to the closure of all district schools on Friday. The teens have been charged with vandalism as well as disrupting public service, both felonies.

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Freak Files: Monday, 5/11/15

Japan Is Behind On Their Pension System Paperwork

The folks that run the pension system in Japan are a little behind on their paperwork.

An 86-year-old woman allegedly kept cashing her parents’ pension for 50 years after they died. It’s believed that she collected over 50 million yen (over 417 thousand dollars) over the last half century from both her parents, who passed away in the 1960’s.

The only reason this case came to light was because the pension agency decided to inquire how the woman’s 110 year old mom was, along with her 112 year old dad.

 

Stupid Criminal Sprays Himself With Pepper Spray!

An alleged robber in West Virginia accidentally pepper-sprayed himself.

Cops in the town of Beaver say 43-year-old MICHAEL KEVIN MEADOWS walked into the Bypass Pharmacy dressed in camouflage and a paintball mask. That’s when police say he released pepper spray into the air in an attempt to subdue workers.

Then he approached the counter, walking straight into the cloud of spray. Surveillance video shows him being overcome by the toxic mist, then stumbling out into the parking lot. He hopped into a getaway car, but cops caught up with him a short time later.

Stupid Criminals!!!

Meadows has been charged with attempted robbery with bail at $100-thousand dollars.

 

Can You Demolish The “Burritozilla”?

If you like big burritos, you’ll love this.

Competitive eating champ MATT STONIE posted a clip of himself downing an 18-inch super burrito in less than two minutes. The video of Stonie demolishing what he calls “Burritozilla” has gone viral on YouTube with nearly a million views.

Stonie is known for crazy stunts like eating four giant Chipotle burritos in one sitting last year, and for downing 182 slices of bacon in five minutes.

 

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Freak Files: Friday, 5/8/15

A Guy Robs a Subway to Pay For a Better Sandwich Across the Street

The sandwiches they make at Subway serve a purpose: They’re cheap, they’re fast, and they taste, ah, okay.

So that brings us to 43-year-old Frederick Warren of Chicago, who thinks every other sandwich store makes better sandwiches than Subway. A few weeks ago, he went into a Subway, pulled out a knife, and demanded all the cash from the register.

Then he took the cash, walked across the street to a Potbelly Sandwich Shop, and used it to buy one of THEIR better-tasting subs. We did a little digging and found that Potbelly, it’s a smaller chain than Subway that makes a pretty good sandwich. Their customers on Facebook recommend the meatball?

The cops caught him while he was still sitting in the Potbelly, finishing up his food. He had $186 in cash on him and the knife!!

Stupid Criminals!!! He was arrested.

 

Teenagers Will Be Teenagers

Apparently throwing eggs is still a thing in North Carolina, and so are neighborhood watches.

Ramapo police arrested four teenagers after they allegedly threw eggs at residents and cursed at them during a Sunday morning drive at a Hasidic Jewish village.

But did they pick the wrong neighborhood and people to mess with! More than 100 residents packed the street and formed a wall around the 2014 black Toyota Corolla with three boys and girl inside. They held their ground until police showed up around 2:30 a.m.

All four teenagers were charged with a misdemeanor count of second-degree aggravated harassment.

 

A Guy Steals a Riding Mower From Walmart by Driving It Right Off the Lot

This isn’t the most effective way to steal a riding lawn mower, but it’s definitely the most efficient.

49-year-old Gursham Gillett of Cozad, Nebraska went to a Walmart on Wednesday and stole a riding mower by hopping on . . . and driving it right off the lot. He just had to take a quick pause to use some bolt cutters to cut himself a hole in a chain link fence.

Once he made it out, he started driving the mower home, but those things don’t go that fast. He only made it about 10 miles before the cops spotted him and arrested him for felony theft.

Stupid Criminals!!!

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Freak Files: Thursday, 5/7/15

Is Your Team Mascot a Drunk???

A sports mascot in Austria reportedly did a little too much partying right before a big soccer match!

The man who performs as SUPER LEO THE LION for Vienna’s soccer team celebrated his 42nd birthday Saturday. Moments later, he was on the field, in costume, trying to get the crowd pumped.

Witnesses say his booze-fueled partying got the best of him and the lion passed out right in the middle of the field! A video shows paramedics rushing to help him to his feet, but Leo, The Drunk Lion, appears to tell them off before clumsily stumbling off the field.

 

Stupid People! Homeless Men Steal A Sailboat

Just because you’re homeless, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the open sea.

Two homeless guys in California stole a sailboat and took it on a joy ride. Problem was, neither knew how to sail.

They ended up losing control of the 20-foot boat and got stuck on a sandbar. They ended up calling the harbormaster on themselves to come rescue them. And arrest them.

 

Fly The Friendly Skies With No Toilet Paper

Passengers on a recent Ryanair flight from Spain to London found out the hard way there wasn’t any toilet paper on the plane.

Shortly after the flight took off, crew members announced they had forgotten to restock the bathrooms. The warning reportedly caused mild panic throughout the plane. A Ryanair spokesperson later stated, “This very rare and regrettable stock shortage as caused by the failure of our handling agents.”

The budget airline was recently voted the second from bottom “worst brand in the world” by a marketing consultancy, and has been described as “Irritating and generally misleading.”

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