Stupid Criminals Picks The Wrong Woman To Attack
A man in England picked the wrong woman to attack.
39-year-old Mark Willis jumped out from behind a bush and attacked an un-named woman. What Mark didn’t know is that the woman had been taking kickboxing lessons for 2 years, and wasted no time kicking his butt!!!
She cursed him out, then tried to break his arm with an arm lock. That didn’t work, so she put him in a scissor-like hold around his neck until he passed out. Then, she called the cops.
Mark was just convicted of assault, and the judge ordered that he pay $785 paid to the woman in restitution.
Champion Liar Tells a Great Story To Win A Lying Contest
Here’s a guy from Burlington, Wis. Gordon Zwicky’s outrageous tale about his trip to Florida earned him top honors in this year’s Burlington Liars Club contest.
Zwicky, who’s 72, beat out 299 other entries from 31 states and Canada. Zwicky claimed he and his wife, Dorothy, won the lottery and decided to drive to Florida. Their neighbor told them they would be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs.
Thirty miles from home they saw a sign that said, ‘Clean Restrooms Ahead.’ Two months later they arrived in Florida,’ the tale read. By that time, they had cleaned 450 restrooms using 267 rolls of paper towels, three cases of bowl cleaner and 86 bottles of Windex.
They were so tired, they immediately left for home.
Don’t Blame Me, I’m a Faux Canadian!
It’s no secret. People around the world hate American tourists. So if you want to travel abroad but don’t want to be tagged as an American, try this.
A New Mexico T-shirt company suggests going Canadian. For $24.95, T-Shirt-King-dot-com offers a “Go Canadian” package that includes a Canadian flag T-shirt, a Canadian flag lapel pin and a Canadian patch for luggage or a backpack.
The “Go Canadian” idea emerged after a staffer had heard about someone being harassed about U-S politics during a recent overseas trip.