Freak Files: Wednesday, 11/25/15

From The Bowels of Human Excess!

Hey guys –want to give your girlfriend a Thanksgiving she’ll never, ever forget?

Better book some tickets to the Big Apple, ‘cuz The Old Homestead Steakhouse in Manhattan is offering the holiday of a lifetime! The restaurant is serving up Wagyu beef from Japan, Foie gras, sourdough bread, cranberry-orange relish, creamy mashed potatoes, butternut squash, sweet potatoes and –of course– turkey, along with an emerald-cut engagement ring inside!

But wait –there’s more! You’ll get a dish of pumpkin ice cream for dessert, topped off with two tickets in the grandstand for Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, a $5-thousand dollar Black Friday shopping spree at Bergdorf Goodman and two-night stay at the Waldorf Astoria complete with limo service.

All this can be yours for the low, low price of $45-thousand dollars.


A Woman Tried to Poison Her Husband But Failed Because She’s a Bad Speller

It’s nice to know all the horrible spelling you see these days could occasionally be used for GOOD.

55-year-old Jacqueline Patrick, from London was unhappily married to a 70-year-old guy named Douglas. So back in 2013, she tried to POISON him by putting ANTIFREEZE in his drink, on Christmas. Cold.

But there were two problems. First, she forged a note from him saying he didn’t want to be resuscitated. And she misspelled the word “dignity.” She wrote “dignerty.”

Second, her husband SURVIVED. When tests showed he had antifreeze poisoning, the cops suspected Jacqueline, and had her write “dignity” as a test. And she spelled it “dignerty” again.

Stupid Criminals!!!!

She was arrested for attempted murder, and got sentenced to 15 years in prison on Monday.


Florida Restaurant Fires 13 Workers With Group Text Message

There are some things you just shouldn’t do via text.

Like….FIRE people. But that is just what Brad Barrett, the general manager of the Clermont, Florida restaurant “Lilly’s on the Lake” did!

Brad sent out a group text message to 13 employees that said, “Hello Everyone. As you know we are making some changes and moving in a new direction in the restaurant and because of that we have decided to move on without you. We appreciate the opportunity to work with you and all of your hard work. Unfortunately we were unable to call and speak with each of you individually but we hope you all understand the decision we have made. Feel free to use us as a reference.”

The ex-employees are understandably upset.

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Freak Files: Tuesday, 11/24/15

Did You Say “A New Toyota, Or a New Toy Y0da?”

A former waitress has settled her lawsuit against Hooters, the restaurant that gave her a toy Yoda doll instead of the Toyota she thought she had won.

Jodee Berry, 27, won a beer sales contest last May at the Panama City Beach Hooters. She believed she had won a new Toyota and happily was escorted to the restaurant’s parking lot in a blindfold. But when the blindfold was removed, she found she had won a new toy Yoda — the little green character from the Star Wars movies.

David Noll, her attorney, said Wednesday that he could not disclose the settlement’s details, although he said Berry can now go to a local car dealership and “pick out whatever type of Toyota she wants.”

The restaurant’s manager, Jared Blair, has said the whole contest was an April Fools’ joke.


Jilted Bride Destroys Her Wedding Dress At A 5k Run

Just days before her wedding was to take place, Kilee Manulak got a text from her fiancée of two years saying he no longer wanted to marry her.

After a few days of bawling her eye out, Kilee decided to have some fun with the situation by publicly destroying her wedding dress at “Tampa’s Color Fun Fest.”

Kilee’s bridesmaids even joined her for the 5K run….in their bridesmaid dresses. The “Color Fun Fust” sprays runners with neon paint as they make their way along the route.

By the end of the run, her wedding dress was completely covered in paint and totally destroyed and Kilee was thrilled!


Valet Parking Now Available At A California Taco Bell

Only in California! A Taco Bell in Walnut Creek, California is now offering free valet parking to customers.

The Taco Bell is located in the pricey Encina Grande Shopping Center, which just finished an $18 million redevelopment project, which includes free valet parking.

So, you can pull up to Taco Bell and let someone else park your car while you enjoy that delicious CrunchWrap Supreme.

Taco Bell is no stranger to testing new services: A Chicago Taco Bell became the first in the nation to offer alcoholic beverages during the summer and other big cities (like Houston) are testing a delivery service.

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Freak Files: Monday, 11/23/15

Look What I found!!!

How about the guy who walked out of a mine in Botswana with a 1,111 carat diamond the size of a tennis ball!

It’s the second-largest jewel ever found –the biggest, the three-thousand carat Cullinan diamond, also found in South Africa, was subsequently cut into smaller pieces, with the two largest portions incorporated into Britain’s Crown Jewels.

An analyst at BMO Capital Markets said the value of such a massive stone was “impossible to estimate” because the value is dependent on the color, clarity, and cutting of the gem. A 341.9 carat diamond sold for $20.6 million in July.

Unfortunately, the guy who found it doesn’t get to keep it –he works for the mining company, Lucara, which is working the dig.


Stupid Criminals – The Bigger Knife Wins

In a scene straight out of “Crocodile Dundee,” the bigger knife usually wins the fight.

A man in Worcester (pronounced. Woos-ter), Massachusetts, tried to rob a liquor store with a machete. LUIS JIMENEZ, who’s 38, walked into Belmont Liquors and pulled out a giant knife with the intent to rob the store.

The clerk, instead of emptying the register like he was asked, pulled out a bigger machete and Jimenez ran away. Stupid Criminals!!!

Jimenez was later arrested on attempted robbery and drug possession charges.


A Woman Took Her Shoes Off on the Subway, and Gave Them to a Homeless Woman

A 26-year-old in New York named Kay Brown was riding the subway home from work last Monday, when she saw a homeless woman in her bare feet.

So she asked what size she wears . . . found out they wear the same size . . . and gave her the shoes off her own FEET. She says they were her favorite pair, but she couldn’t let someone walk around in their bare feet in the middle of November. Plus, SHE can afford to buy new shoes, and the woman she gave them to couldn’t.

Kay ended up walking about six blocks in her socks to get home, but a random guy who saw what she did said it inspired him, so he gave her a clean pair of his gym socks to wear over hers.

Click here to check out some photos of the woman putting Kay’s shoes.

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Freak Files: Friday, 11/20/15

When Animals Attack!

Little dogs have a NAPOLEON complex that you need to watch out for.

STAS NAGORNOV, who’s eight, and his buddy NIKITA, who’s 12, both from Russia, were saved by a Dachshund named Tosya when they were attacked by a black bear.

The boys were playing when the bear grabbed Stas and threw him to the ground and started to bite him. Nikita ran at the bear but then it started clawing at him. That’s when Tosya, the dog, showed up and started barking like crazy. He ran into the woods and bear followed him, allowing the boys to escape.

Tosya came running back out after he lost the bear. Both boys required surgery, but are doing fine –and Tosya is being called a hero!


Louisville Is Dealing With “Mass Quantities of Boogers” Stuck on Bathroom Walls

Apparently Louisville, Kentucky has run out of problems for the mayor and the city government to solve, because THIS was the issue that consumed their time this week.

The head of Louisville’s Metro Planning and Design Services sent an email to all the managers in the government’s office building on Tuesday, detailing the city’s new emerging menace.

Quote, “We have recently discovered mass quantities of boogers on the walls in the third floor men’s restroom. This is obviously a very serious situation. Anybody caught doing this could face disciplinary action.”

And one of his employees wrote back to help out. Quote, “At no point should anything that comes out of or off a person’s body be wiped, poured, or spit or in any way put on any Metro-owned surface.”

As far as we know, the mysterious wiper or wipers have not been caught. And the city is paying to have the bathroom walls scraped clean.


Two Guys Steal a Car With a Kid Inside . . . and Drop Him Off at School

A woman in Norfolk, Virginia parked outside a post office on Wednesday morning, and left her car running, so two guys hopped in and stole it.

But they didn’t realize her eight-year-old SON was in the backseat. So they asked the kid where he wanted to go. He told them school. And guess what? The thieves actually drove to his elementary school and dropped him off.

Fortunately the kid was okay, and the cops found the car about three miles from the school. Now they’re trying to track down the two car thieves.

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Freak Files: Thursday, 11/19/15

Learn How To Fight With Your ‘Selfie Stick’!!

A martial arts school in Moscow, Russia is trying to keep up with technology.

The M-PROFI combat sports center is now offering courses in “monopod fighting,” or how to fight using a Selfie stick. Instructors say the class was inspired by “the self-defense needs of tourists.”

A spokesman explains, “In many countries assaults on tourists have become a frequent occurrence… and the only instrument of self-defense that travelers always carry on themselves is a Selfie-stick.”


Drunk Football Fan Breaks Into a Courthouse to Sleep Because He Thought It Was The Hilton

35-year-old Harold Schroder of Oklahoma City is a Sooners fan, and this past weekend he was in Waco, Texas for their game against Baylor.

Lets just say that he was “Over served” with alcohol on Friday night, and headed back to his hotel to crash. Except when he woke up, the cops were there. Because he wasn’t in his hotel room . . . he’d broken into a COURTHOUSE to go to sleep.

The cops found him curled up right in front of a row of seats in a courtroom. When they woke him up, he explained he wasn’t there to steal anything . . . he was just confused and thought it was the Hilton where he was staying.

Hiltons may not be five-star hotels, but I’m pretty sure they’re at least nicer places to sleep than municipal buildings. Probably.  Stupid Criminals!!

He was arrested for criminal trespassing, and he got out of jail on bond on Saturday afternoon. There’s no word on whether he made it to the game that night.


Someone Was Busted For Smuggling 450 Pork Tamales Into Los Angeles

This is some VERY strange smuggling right here.

A guy was flying to Los Angeles from Mexico earlier this month, and got busted for smuggling contraband in his luggage. But it wasn’t drugs . . . guns . . . illegal fireworks . . . or anything else you’d normally associate with smuggling.

No . . . this dude was busted for smuggling PORK TAMALES.

Customs caught him with 450 illegal pork tamales. Why are those illegal? They issued a statement saying, quote, “Foreign meat products can carry serious animal diseases.”

So the guy was fined $1,000 . . . and all 450 delicious Mexican tamales were DESTROYED.


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Freak Files: Wednesday, 11/18/15


Taking Life Way Too Seriously – Going to Jail Over A Football Game

Are you prepared to go to jail over a football game? Lets hope not.

A Pittsburgh man allegedly shot his neighbor because of a football game. Police say 58-year-old EARL DUNBAR got into an argument with his neighbor Sunday over the Pittsburgh Steelers game.

The argument escalated, leading to Dunbar allegedly grab a gun and shooting 45-year-old VICTOR SAWYER in the shoulder. Sawyer was taken to a local hospital in stable condition.

Dunbar was arrested on aggravated assault charges. A sign on Dunbar’s front door reads: “Our father who art in Pittsburgh, football be thy game.”


Sheer Stupidity – Weird Tattooing Trend in Australia

A weird new tattooing trend seems to really be catching on in Australia.

In spite of warnings from medical professionals, eyeball tattooing is growing in popularity down under.  According to reports, at least twenty Australians have permanently changed the color of their sclera –the white part of the eye.

The process involves injecting ink directly into the eye. The coloration is completely permanent.

Australian optometrist LUKE ARUNDEL warns that the practice has a risk of serious eye complications. And, he says nothing is known about the long-term side effects.


Mall Reverses Its Decision To Charge For Santa’s Lap

Yesterday we told you about a mall in New Jersey that was charging parents between $35 and $50 for their kid to get a photo with Santa.

The fee covered the picture with Santa as well as tickets to their Santa Exhibit. Well, the mall received so much backlash that they have eliminated the fee!

The mall’s Santa Exhibit features characters from the Shrek movies as well as a virtual sleigh ride, a concert performed by elves, and various games.

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Freak Files: Tuesday, 11/17/15

A Guy in Ohio Got Divorced, and Painted His House Bright Orange for the Cincinnati Bengals

A guy named Jeffrey Gebhart got divorced a while back, and bought a small house last year in Milford, Ohio, just outside Cincinnati.

Jeffrey’s been a Bengals fan for almost 40 years, and says this is the best team they’ve ever had. They were undefeated until they lost to the Texans last night, so they’re 8 and 1.

Well now, since he no longer has a wife shooting down all the awesome ideas he comes up with anymore, he went to repaint his house recently . . . he decided to paint it BRIGHT ORANGE with tiger stripes, so it looks like the Bengals uniforms.

And he told the local news there’s no way he could have gotten away with it if he was still married.


“Bah, Humbug”

A mall in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, is getting their humbug on this year.

Kids now have to pay admission of $35 to $50 bucks to enter the Cherry Hill Mall’s “Adventure to Santa.” Yes, you get pics or video but parents are ticked that the mall is ruining the “spirit of the holiday.”

There’s only 12 Adventure to Santa’s in the U.S. They feature characters from “Shrek,” a virtual sleigh ride, a concert by elves and games.


An Ohio man says Hot Pockets saved his life.

38-year-old JASON BARTLEY had just finished running errands in Akron, when he decided to head home.

But, a sudden craving for Hot Pockets caused him to head to the dollar store instead. When he finally made it home, his house was engulfed in flames.

It turns out a small plane had crashed into his home while he was away, killing all nine people on board. Bartley believes, if he hadn’t stopped for the Hot Pockets, he would have been killed in the fiery crash.

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Freak Files: Monday, 11/16/15

A Nine-Year-Old Is Facing Sexual Harassment Charges For Writing a Love Letter

This story PERFECTLY sums up how ridiculous schools have gotten since we were kids.

A 9-year-old 4th grader in Hillsborough County, Florida was sent to the principal’s office recently, and threatened with SEXUAL HARASSMENT charges…because he gave a girl in his class a LOVE LETTER.

He drew a heart on a piece of notebook paper, wrote “I like you” in the middle, and things like, “I like your eyes because they sparkle like diamonds.”

But the girl wasn’t interested…other kids found out about the note…and started TEASING the kid.

That’s when the principal got involved, and told the kid he can’t send, quote, “unwanted” love letters. And if he does it again, they’ll file sexual harassment charges.

The school has a policy against passing notes because they can cause disruptions . . . but the kid’s mom still thinks this is a MASSIVE overreaction. She says, quote, “My nine-year-old doesn’t even know what sexual harassment means.”


A Restaurant in Detroit Is Offering Free Meals to Anyone Who’s Alone on Thanksgiving

A 69-year-old guy named George Dimopoulos owns a Greek diner outside Detroit called George’s Senate Coney Island.

And a photo of a sign he recently put up in the front window is going viral, because he’s offering a free Thanksgiving dinner to anyone who doesn’t have someone to eat with this year.

He says that before he came to America 46 years ago, he lived on the streets in Greece for a while. And he’s never forgotten what it was like to have to beg for food.

So he’s doing it to help the homeless . . . but also ANYONE else who doesn’t have somewhere to go this year.

And it’s not some promotional stunt he just came up with. He’s actually done it every Thanksgiving for the past DECADE. It just happened to go viral on Reddit this year.

It’s also not just a Thanksgiving thing. He says anytime someone comes in who can’t afford to eat, he gives them a free meal. And he fed about 80 people this past Easter.


Google’s Self-Driving Car Is Pulled Over For Going Too Slow

One of Google’s self-driving cars was pulled over during a traffic stop in Mountain View, California, on Thursday – for driving too slow!!!

An officer spotted the vehicle going 24mph in a 35mph zone, with traffic backed up behind it. So, the cop pulled the car over and made contact with the operators because it is illegal for self-driving cars to be traveling on streets with a speed limit of 35mph or higher.

The self-driving car managed to avoid a ticket and won’t be going back on that particular street.

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Freak Files: Friday, 11/13/15

A Couple Died in the Hot Tub at Their Daughter’s Wedding

This is a really tragic story . . . but I guess if you had to pick a way to die. . . . .

67-year-old Charles Mackenzie and his 63-year-old wife Dorothy are from Canada and they were at a resort in Playa del Carmen, Mexico this week for their daughter’s wedding.

And their fancy hotel room had a hot tub in it. So on Monday, they decided to take a dip and enjoy some romance in there.

Unfortunately, Charles had a fatal HEART ATTACK, collapsed on top of Dorothy, accidentally pinned her underwater so she couldn’t get out, and DROWNED her.

The wedding was supposed to happen yesterday, but it was canceled.


AR-151109829A Girl Tells the Cops Her Fake ID Is Okay, Because She Was Using It For Acting

At this point it’s hard to give cops an excuse they haven’t heard before, so bravo to this girl on her creativity.

18-year-old Abbie Huff of Pensacola, Florida was pulled over for speeding a few weeks ago. The cops spotted a bunch of open containers in the car, and saw that everyone inside was under 21.

So they found Abbie’s fake ID, it was a Mississippi driver’s license that said she was over 21. According to the police report, Abbie told them, quote, “the license wasn’t illegal because it was not used and it can be legally possessed if she was acting.”

That wouldn’t have been a bad excuse IF they’d found it on her while she was filming a movie or doing a play. Since that WASN’T the case, she was arrested for possession of a fake ID. Stupid Criminals!!!


The Manager of a Car Wash Got Snagged on One of the Spinning Brushes

The manager of a car wash in Louisiana was walking inside it last month, getting ready to spray it down with a hose.

Anyway, for whatever reason he left the whole car wash running while he was hosing it down, and then the hose got tangled in one of the spinning brushes. Well, not only did the hose get stuck on the spinning brush, so did HE. He was stuck on it for about a minute, going round and round.

A security camera got it on tape, and luckily he’s okay. He just ended up with some scrapes on his legs.

Here’s the video:


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Freak Files: Thursday, 11/12/15

A Woman Had to Give Birth All Alone Because Her Boyfriend Got Grossed Out and Left

Childbirth is a miracle, but it can also be messy.

Deanne Fraser of Australia, recently woke up in the middle of the night after her water broke, and knew she couldn’t get to a hospital in time.

Luckily her boyfriend Tim Evans was there, but unfortunately, he didn’t handle it too well. Deanne was talking to the dispatcher when he told her to put Tim on the phone, so he could walk him through the delivery.

Then as soon as he started giving instructions, Tim said he was too GROSSED OUT, and thought he was going to get sick and ran out of the house!!!

He rand down the street to get his sister, but by the time they got back, the baby had already been born. Thankfully, Deanne and the kid are both fine, and in case you’re wondering, she and Tim are still together.

Click here to see a picture of Deanne with her baby, the dispatcher, and her very unhappy looking boyfriend.


Woman Steals Cop Car While Still Handcuffed

A western Pennsylvania woman stole a police cruiser and led police on an 80 mph chase….all while her hands were cuffed behind her back!

Authorities say Roxanne Rimer was handcuffed and placed in the back of the cruiser after being accused of shoplifting, but she squeezed through an unlatched opening and crawled into the front seat before zooming off and leading officers on the nearly 10 mile high speed chase.

The chase ended when she crashed the police car and she ran. The cops dispatched their canine unit and guess where they found Roxanne? Well, actually the cop-dog found Roxanne hiding in a dog house in someone’s backyard!!!

Stupid Criminals!!!

She was arrested, found guilty, and sentenced to 4-8-years behind bars!


Boy Saves Family From Fire After Trip To A Fire Station

5-year old Nathaniel Stocks (of San Bernardino, California) went on a field trip to a local fire station, where they learned different techniques to save people from a fire.

And it was a good thing he went on that field trip because just 2 days later, his house caught on fire and he was able to save his family!! Nathaniel rescued his grandmother and pet Chihuahua when a space heater caught fire in his bedroom.

The San Bernardino County Fire department recognized Nathaniel for his courage and quick thinking and stressed that all schools should make field trips to their local fire stations.

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Freak Files: Wednesday, 11/11/15

The Simple Rules of Life

There’s an old saying, unless you actually see the baby emerging from a woman, don’t ask her how far along she is in her pregnancy.

The airline JETSTAR has had to apologize to one of its passengers after a flight attendant pointed at her stomach and said, “how many weeks are you?” Her response, “I’m not pregnant.”

GRETHE ANDERSEN, who’s 24, was heading to New Zealand for a fun girl weekend and this ruined the whole thing for her. The airline offered her a free flight voucher after she posted the story on their Facebook page.

Click here to see a picture of Grethe and the outfit she was wearing.


A Drunk Guy Has a Nine-Year-Old Drive Him to the Store to Get Barbecue Sauce

A 27-year-old guy in Tiffin, Ohio had too much to drink on Saturday night, and was about to eat some chicken, but he didn’t have any BARBECUE sauce.

Apparently he just couldn’t eat his chicken without it. So he asked his nine-year-old neighbor to DRIVE him to a gas station, so he could buy some barbecue sauce.

And the kid actually did it, successfully, too. But when they got there, the clerk realized what was happening and called the cops.

The clerk wouldn’t let the kid drive home, so the guy took over . . . and the cops pulled him over. He was arrested for child endangerment, operating a vehicle while intoxicated, and refusing a breath test.

Stupid Criminals!!!!

Oh, we almost forgot, he was driving with a suspended license.


Indonesia Planning Island Prison Guarded By Crocodiles

The head of Indonesia’s anti-drug agency has proposed an innovative new prison for drug convicts on death row: an island surrounded by blood-thirsty crocodiles.

The inmates would have food delivered to them on the island but other than that, they would left to fend for themselves.

And if you think his plan is crazy, Indonesia’s anti-drug chief has some rock-solid logic behind it.

He says, “You can’t bribe crocodiles.”

Drugs are rampant in Indonesia’s corrupt prison system, with both inmates and jail officials are constantly being arrest on narcotics offenses.

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Freak Files: Tuesday, 11/10/15

Gone Fishin’

A fisherman in Brooklyn, New York, caught a three-eyed catfish.

The strange-looking fish was reeled in Saturday afternoon in Gowanus Canal. GREG HUNTER caught the weird creature on video. He says he was a little surprised by the mutant fish, but not completely shocked, considering the condition of the canal.

He explains, “It’s notoriously polluted.” Hunter says the three-eyed fish reminds him of Blinky, a mutant fish seen swimming near the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant on “The Simpsons”.

Click here to see it.


picA Drug Smuggler Is Going to Prison for Six Years Because of One Wrong Turn

This might be the most costly wrong turn anyone’s ever made.

34-year-old Sylvia Mashiah is from Los Angeles, and was driving home from Tijuana, Mexico last year in her 2006 Ford Focus. And the Customs agents at the border waved her right on through.

Unfortunately for Sylvia, she made a wrong turn right afterward . . . into the “secondary lot” where Customs sends people for closer inspections. The agents in THAT lot didn’t realize Sylvia was there by mistake, and gave her car a thorough examination.

And that’s when they found the 27 pounds of METH she was smuggling. She wound up pleading guilty to a felony count of drug importing, and she was just sentenced to SIX YEARS and four months in federal prison. Stupid Criminals


From Stupid Criminals To Stupid People

It’s NEVER a good idea to post a winning ticket of ANYTHING on social media.

CHANTELLE, who’s from Perth, Australia, bet on a horse race and won almost $600, American!!! She was so excited that she posted a selfie of her and her winning ticket.

Someone wasted no time jacking the barcode, making a copy and cashing in the fake winning ticket. She tried to cash her ticket in only 15 minutes after taking the pic and was told it was already cashed in.

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