This week’s featured pet is Sydney.

Sydney is a four-year-old male black Poodle. He has a very sweet temperament and is good with cats, other dogs and all people. Sydney weighs approximately 14 lbs. He is heartworm negative, current on vaccinations and neutered. He has also been microchipped. He has done really well at adoption events with all that chaos that entails. Syndney would make a great companion for any family.

If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.

For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here.

We couldn’t do Wet Nose Wednesday without the generous support of our sponsor, Dixie Memorial Pet Cemetery.

Kellie Pickler Wins Dancing With The Stars

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Last night on the finale of Dancing With The Stars, the winner of season 16 was……country singer Kellie Pickler and her partner Derek Hough!!

–Coming in 2nd place was Disney Star Zendaya.  Jacoby Jones, Baltimore Ravens wide-receiver was third.

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George Michael Fell Out of That Range Rover at 70 Miles Per Hour  

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It turns out the accident that landed GEORGE MICHAEL in the hospital was George falling out of the passenger side of a Range Rover because he was trying to shut his door properly . . . while the car was doing 70 on the highway.

–Meanwhile, George’s rep says he’s still in the hospital, but only as a precaution.  And he’s, quote, “making good progress, he’s fine and he’s really looking forward to getting home.”

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Robert Pattinson Moved Out on Kristen Stewart After All . . . Maybe Because She’s Still Texting Rupert Sanders 

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ROBERT PATTINSON did move out on KRISTEN STEWART after all.

–He was spotted Sunday leaving their house with all his stuff in the back of a pickup.  A source says it’s because she’s still in contact with her fling, RUPERT SANDERS.  He even took the dogs.

–Meanwhile, sources say Robert’s “friendship” with KATY PERRY was “one of many reasons” for the split this time.

Police Cause a Two-Hour Traffic Jam into New York . . . After a High Speed Chase With a Goat?

Yesterday morning, TONS of people were late to work in New York . . . all because of ONE ROGUE GOAT.

–The goat was in a truck on the way to a SLAUGHTERHOUSE in northern New Jersey, but he wasn’t going out like that.  So he managed to get out of the truck . . . and took off running.

–The goat was running along the Pulaski Skyway, which thousands of people use to get to the Holland Tunnel into New York City.  After someone swerved to avoid the goat and caused a FOUR-CAR ACCIDENT, police started a high-speed goat chase.

–It took them almost TWO HOURS before they could catch him.  The goat was taken to the humane society and will head to a rescue farm . . . so the goat really DID end up saving its own life by breaking out of that truck.

Click here to see some photos of the goat.

Stupid Criminals!!

When police in England posted the mugshot of a wanted criminal on Facebook, the wanted man commented underneath it, quote, “Catch me if you can.”

–And they did . . . and the detective posted, quote, “Caught you.  Do not pass go.  Do not collect $200.  Go directly to jail.”

A Government Clerk Has Saved 500 Marriages, by Pretending the Printer Was Broken When People Tried to File For Divorce

There’s a 39-year-old clerk who works at the marriage registry for the city of Wuhan, in China . . . her name is Xiong Ling.

–When couples come to her office to file for divorce, Xiong sometimes pretends to be incompetent . . . she’ll tell them that the printer is broken, or the network is down.  Then she apologizes for the technical difficulties and tells people to come back on another day.

–And after she tricks people into taking more time to think about it, some couples reconsider and decide to give the marriage one more try.

The National Weather Service says the tornado that hit Oklahoma Monday was as big as it gets.  An F-5 with  winds as high as 210mph.  The tornado was 17 miles long and 1.3 miles wide, and it lasted about 40 minutes.   It was 600 times the power of the Hiroshima bomb.

Death Toll:

The death toll from the tornado that devastated Moore, Oklahoma officially stands at 24, including 9 children.

Wolf Blitzer Asks an Atheist if She’s Thankful to God For Surviving the Tornado 

• CNN’s WOLF BLITZER was interviewing a tornado survivor yesterday, and he asked her, quote, “I guess you gotta thank the Lord, right?  Do you thank the Lord?”
• And she laughed and replied, quote, “I’m actually an atheist . . . [but] I don’t blame anybody for thanking the Lord.”  Click here to see the video.  Very awkward.

And Now . . . Al Roker Clowns in the Face of Someone Else’s Tragedy 

MATT LAUER and AL ROKER from the “Today Show” were broadcasting from Oklahoma yesterday.

And Al figured it was as good a time as any . . . while standing amid the rubble . . . to clown around and growl like a dog.  Matt wisely IGNORED him.

Click here to see the video.

Kevin Durant of the Oklahoma City Thunder Donated $1 Million to the Red Cross

• NBA star KEVIN DURANT of the Oklahoma City Thunder is coming through BIG TIME for the state.  His foundation is donating $1 MILLION to the Red Cross.
• Durant wasn’t in the state when the tornado hit.  He hopes to be back today.  And he says he wants to, quote, “get to the hospital, see some kids . . . Something.  Just [do] something to give some hope.”
• He adds, quote, “Playing for the Thunder, we mean so much to the state.  So many people support us and I just want to go back and support those people.”

Toby Keith Is Planning a Benefit Concert for Tornado Victims in His Hometown

TOBY KEITH grew up in Moore, Oklahoma and he is putting together a benefit concert for the victims of Monday’s tornado . . . and he’s hoping to use the University of Oklahoma football stadium.  He said, quote, “I know as soon as I start sending out some feelers that I’ll get a lot of people in there.  Hopefully, we can use music to heal some of the money problems right away.”

A Woman in California Got All Six Winning Numbers on Her Powerball Ticket . . . But Lost Because She Bought It 52 Minutes Late

Last Wednesday, the Powerball Jackpot was worth $360 million and Margit Arrobio of Pasadena, California bought five tickets.  One of them matched ALL five numbers and the Powerball.

–For a moment, Margit thought she’d just become SUPER RICH.  So she was surprised when she heard there were NO winning tickets for the drawing.

–Turns out Margit bought the ticket 52 minutes too late.  The Powerball drawing was at 8:00 P.M., and Margit bought her tickets at 8:52 P.M.

–And if you look at her ticket, it clearly shows it’s for the Saturday drawing, NOT the Wednesday drawing.  And on Saturday she lost, of course.

–Margit described her emotions as going from SHOCKED when she thought she’d won, to DISAPPOINTED when she found out she hadn’t.  Seems like an understatement on both counts.

–Click her to see a picture of Margit holding her ticket.

A Man Was Arrested for Trying to Force a Fortune Teller to Pay Him Back . . . Because Her Love Spell Didn’t Work

Earlier this month, a 46-year-old man in Spain paid a fortune teller $212,000 to cast a spell on a woman and make her fall in love with him.

–When it didn’t work, he and some friends broke into her house to FORCE her to give the money back.  But the cops got there quickly and they were arrested.

An 18-Year-Old Girl Won $50,000 for Inventing a Device That Can Charge Your Phone in 20 Seconds

On Friday, an 18-year-old girl from San Jose, California won $50,000 at the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair.

–Her invention is a supercapacitor . . . which is a battery that can charge a cell phone in 20 to 30 seconds, and lasts 10 times longer than current batteries.

This tornado was TWO MILES wide, and its winds were up to 200 miles-per-hour.  It destroyed every building in its path . . . including an elementary school with children inside.

As of the latest reports, 51 people are dead . . . including at least 20 children . . . and 145 people are in the hospital.
We don’t have an official count, but at least dozens of buildings and homes were destroyed.  The local NBC station called it, quote, “the biggest, most destructive tornado in history.”

They probably meant in the history of the state . . . because other tornados have been more powerful and caused more deaths . . . but that’s still extremely significant.

(Check out a before and after photo of the devastation by clicking here, and a collection of photos and videos by clicking here.)

 
How you can Help the Oklahoma Tornado Victims
Donate: Text “storm” to 80888 to make a $10 donation.
The Red Cross said the best way to assist families is to make a donation to redcross.org/okc or by texting REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation.

Watch Paris Hilton’s Boyfriend Shove a Female Fan . . . Twice

PARIS HILTON is at the Cannes Film Festival in France . . . because, you know, when you think about the finest in world cinema, you immediately think of Paris Hilton.

–She showed up with her boyfriend River Viiperi on Friday, and they were swarmed by fans and photographers.

–Well, River must not be used to the attention, because he was OBVIOUSLY not having a good time.  And when a female fan got too close to Paris, he SHOVED her.  Twice.  And of course, the paparazzi got the whole thing on film.

–Click here to see it.

Elton John’s Lyricist Bernie Taupin Has Been Busted for DUI 

If any of ELTON JOHN’S future songs have references to a DUI bust, this is why:

–Elton’s lyricist BERNIE TAUPIN was arrested earlier this month on suspicion of drinking and driving.

–An officer pulled him over in Southern California on May 5th, after noticing that he was driving erratically.

–Supposedly, he tried to pull into a driveway, but missed the turn, and then backed into a fence while he was trying to pull out.

–Does that sound erratic enough for you?  It does it for me!  There are no further details.

Christina Aguilera’s New Body Continues To Wow Fans

Christina Aguilera was a big hit at Sunday night’s Billboard Music Awards but it wasn’t just for her duet with Pitbull.

–It was actually Christina’s new slender physique in a simple black dress.

– A source close to Aguilera told E! News that she has taken a healthy approach to achieving her new physique.

–You can check out a photo of Christina at the Billboard Music Awards by clicking here.

Example: Click here to see how YOKED Tim McGraw is.  One look at this picture and you’ll know exactly what yoked means…you’ll say, “Man Tim McGraw is really yoked, yo!”

Tim McGraw Stops His Show To Help A Fainting Fan!

Great news, girls –we have more proof that chivalry isn’t dead!

–PAULA WHITTEN passed out while attending TIM McGRAW’s concert in Atlanta, Georgia and was shocked to see Tim McGraw himself giving her a drink of water when she came to.

–Yep!  Time actually stopped the show when he saw his fan go down for the count and also helped the medical team.

George Michael Was Airlifted to a Hospital After A Car Accident . . . Will He Die?

GEORGE MICHAEL was airlifted to a hospital after an accident Thursday night on a British freeway . . . but it sounds like he WILL NOT DIE.

–I know what you’re thinking:  George was driving stoned and fell asleep behind the wheel again.  Well, that wasn’t the case this time.  George was actually a PASSENGER in a Range Rover that crashed.

–George’s rep said George was, quote, “being treated for superficial cuts and bruises, but is fine.”

The “American Idol” Finale Was Its Least-Watched Ever . . . Again 

Around 14.3 million people watched CANDICE GLOVER win “American Idol” on Thursday night.

That’s the weakest audience for an “Idol” finale EVER . . . by a lot.

The second least-watched finale was last year’s, which attracted 21.5 million viewers.

Volunteers Cleaned 10 Million Pounds of Trash off the Beach Last Year . . . Here’s What They Found

According to the Ocean Conservancy, more than 560,000 volunteers helped clean over 17,000 miles of coastline around the world last year, and removed 10 million pounds of garbage.  The #1 thing they found was. . . . . 2,117,931 cigarette butts, 1,140,222 food wrappers and containers, 1,065,171 plastic bottles, 611,048 straws and coffee stirrers, just to mention only a few trash items.

–They also found 236 toothbrushes . . . 117 mattresses . . . and 40 lottery tickets. 

A Bride Performed CPR to Save One of Her Wedding Guests

24-year-old Kylie Cox is a nurse who got married in Cornwall, England over the weekend, and at her reception, she was dancing with a 28-year-old male friend of hers, when he told her he was feeling light-headed.

–Then he COLLAPSED due to an apparent heart attack.  Kylie was in her wedding dress, but that didn’t stop her from performing CPR on the guy.  A bridesmaid . . . who’s also a nurse . . . and they SAVED his LIFE.

–The guy is expected to make a full recovery, and Kylie is planning another reception since the first one got cut short.

–Click here to see a picture of Kylie and her husband.

A Mother Scams Donations by Pretending Her Son Has Cancer . . . and Even Tells the Kid That He Has Cancer to Help Sell It

In New Jersey, police just busted a 35-year-old woman for pretending her nine-year-old son had CANCER to raise $3,500 in donations.

–And to make things WAY worse . . . she actually LIED to her son and TOLD HIM HE HAD CANCER to help sell the scam.  So the kid thought he was dying, and had no idea he was healthy.

–The police caught her after an anonymous tip, and she’s facing charges of theft by deception, forgery, endangering the welfare of a child, and using a child to commit a criminal offense.  She’s due in court later this week. 

Free Parking At the Parking Meter!!!

Officials in Keene, New Hampshire, aren’t impressed with a group of local do-gooders.

–The city is suing the group known as “Robin Hood and his Merry Men.”

–Officials say members of Robin Hood and his Merry Men have been illegally feeding parking meters that would otherwise expire.

–The group claims they aren’t doing anything illegal.

A McDonald’s Employee Finds Her Stolen Car . . . When the Thief Takes It Through the Drive Thru

On Tuesday, Virginia of Kennewick, Washington woke up and found someone had stolen her Toyota 4Runner.  She called the cops to report it missing, then went to her job at McDonald’s.

–A few hours later, there was an INCREDIBLE coincidence.  As Virginia was manning the drive thru, she saw HER OWN CAR pull up.

–The thief was 22-year-old Katherine York.  She’d stolen the car . . . then went to JC Penney and Sears to steal some clothes . . . and then to McDonald’s.

–Virginia immediately called the cops again.  Katherine was arrested for possession of a stolen vehicle.  The cops found a bunch of the stolen clothes in the backseat, but shoplifting charges are still pending.

Any women who’s been pregnant knows what it feels like to jam certain body parts into articles of clothing they no longer fit in.  But MOST women know when to STOP jamming.

–KIM KARDASHIAN is not one of those women.  She’s still trying to jam her swollen feet into heels.

–And we have some very uncomfortable-looking photos to prove it.

–Click here to see all the pictures.

Check Out Pictures of Cops Swarming Diddy’s $500,000 Ride, and Putting His Driver on His Knees 

The other day, cops swarmed DIDDY’S $500,000 Maybach and ordered the driver to get out of the car and get down on his knees.

–They’d gotten a call that someone in the car was armed, but it turned out to be a false alarm.  Diddy wasn’t even in the car at the time . . . he’d just been dropped off somewhere.

–Click here to see some pictures.

Surprise:  Steve Carell *Did* Return for the Series Finale of “The Office” 

“The Office” ended its nine-season run last night, and STEVE CARELL DID return for the series finale.

–On the surface, that isn’t surprising . . . but it IS impressive that they were able to keep it under wraps.

–The plot for the final episode shapes up like this:  Steve’s character Michael Scott showed up at Dwight and Angela’s wedding to serve as Dwight’s best man.

–And the comedy ensues!

“People” Magazine Says Angelina Jolie Will Have Her Ovaries Removed Next 

ANGELINA JOLIE hasn’t said what she plans to do about her increased risk of ovarian cancer . . . or when she plans to do it.

–But the logical next step after having her breasts removed is to give her ovaries the same treatment.  And “People” magazine says she’s going to do that.  But they’re only getting this from an unidentified “source”, not Angelina herself.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Is Worth More Than Oprah Winfrey 

When it comes to celebrities and their net worth, almost nobody’s got more dough than former “Seinfeld” star JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS.

–Julia Louis-Dreyfus has Oprah money.  As in, she has more money than OPRAH!!  Oprah has a net worth of $2.8 billion.  But Julia is worth $3 billion.  And no, that’s not from residuals from “The New Adventures of Old Christine”.

–Her family is LOADED . . . they own a commodities and shipping multinational that they’ve controlled since 1851.

–She’s also worth more than Tyler Perry, Diddy, Bono, Madonna, Dr. Dre, Will Smith and Ryan Seacrest COMBINED.

Police Arrested A Stalker Near Taylor Swift’s Beach House in Rhode Island

Some misguided TAYLOR SWIFT fan was arrested yesterday near her mansion in Rhode Island.

–It was around 2:00 A.M. when Lucas H. Vorsteveld swam ashore at Taylor’s house, saw some security dudes, and then jumped back into the water.

–He swam back to where he started from, about a mile away, and that’s where the police was waiting for him.  They asked what he was doing and Lucas ADMITTED he had just been at Taylor’s place because he wanted to meet her.  So, they arrested him for trespassing.

Police Report to a Science Fiction Convention . . . to Break Up a Brawl Between Two Rival Sci-Fi Clubs

On Sunday afternoon, at a science fiction convention in England, two rival sci-fi clubs got into a fight.

–The Norwich “Star Wars” Club and the Norwich Sci-Fi Club have a LONG rivalry, and on Sunday, it turned into a BRAWL.

– It’s not clear just how physical it got . . . or how many light sabers were involved . . . but the police were able to break it up pretty easily.  No arrests were made.

A 61-Year-Old Borrowed His Parents’ Car . . . to Rob a Subway

On Monday afternoon, a 61-year-old man in Texas borrowed his mom and dad’s car, which is pretty embarrassing.

–And it’s especially bad since he borrowed it to go ROB a Subway.  He got about $80, but the employees took down the plate number.

–The cops went to his parents’ house, they IMMEDIATELY turned on him, and he was arrested for robbery.

Some Idiot Frat Brothers Left Their Drunk, Unconscious Friend at a Hospital . . . With a Post-It Note Explaining the Situation

On Saturday, a fraternity at Arizona State University had a SHOT drinking contest.

–One 20-year-old did TWENTY shots of tequila . . . then blacked out unconscious.  His frat brothers didn’t want to get in trouble, but they didn’t want him to DIE either . . . so they dumped him outside a hospital with a Post-It note explaining the situation.

–The frat brother’s blood-alcohol level was .471% . . . SIX TIMES the legal limit.

–Fortunately the hospital treated him, and it looks like he’ll be okay.  His frat brothers might be looking at citations for drinking.

This week’s featured pet is Sparky:

Sparky is a male gray and white Shih Tzu mix that was rescued from a shelter in Missouri. This handsome guy has a great disposition and gets along with other dogs and loves all people. If you are looking for low-maintenance, that would be Sparky. He is approximately two years old and weighs about 16 lbs. Sparky is heartworm negative, current on vaccinations and neutered. He will make a wonderful pet for any family. I would say that probably it would be best for him for a family without toddlers as he has that low long back and they have a tendency to want to sit on them.

If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.

For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here.

We couldn’t do Wet Nose Wednesday without the generous support of our sponsor, Dixie Memorial Pet Cemetery.

Americans Hate Justin Bieber

Apparently people don’t like Justin Bieber. According to a recent poll from the Public Policy Polling group, Bieber received 54% in unfavorable ratings and just 20 percent on the likability scale.

–The survey was reportedly taken across America over two days.  571 people participated.

Adele was labeled as America’s favorite pop star.

The Owners of a Restaurant Flipped Out on Social Media

On last Friday’s “Kitchen Nightmares”, GORDON RAMSAY actually QUIT on a restaurant for the first time.

–The restaurant was Amy’s Baking Company in Scottsdale, Arizona . . . and the owners, Amy and Samy Bouzaglo, were a TRAIN WRECK on the episode.  They threatened customers, screamed profanities, and fired wait staff.  So who can blame Gordon for walking out?

–After the episode aired, the restaurant owners got some negative feedback on social media sites, and they started FLIPPING OUT on the commenters.

–Later, they claimed their sites were HACKED . . . but it’s hard to buy that after how crazy they acted on TV.

Is Beyoncé Pregnant? 

BEYONCÉ canceled a scheduled show in Belgium last night due to, quote, “dehydration and exhaustion.”  Her publicist says her doctors advised her to rest.  The show will be rescheduled.

–Of course, there’s talk that this SUPPORTS recent speculation that Beyoncé is pregnant again.  There’s no official word . . . but it seems like an interesting time for her doctors to order her to rest.

Are Rich People Hiring Disabled Guides to Help Them Skip the Lines at Disney World?

This comes from the “New York Post” . . . one of America’s least reliable newspapers . . . so take it for what it’s worth.  But if it’s true . . . OUTRAGE!

–Apparently, rich people have been secretly hiring DISABLED PEOPLE to escort them around Walt Disney World in Orlando . . . so they can go into the special handicapped line, and skip the long waits for rides.

–A company called Dream Tours Florida offers the service.  The rates for a handicapped tour guide are $130-an-hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.  That doesn’t include the price of tickets to Disney World.

–Under Disney policy, a guest in a wheelchair can take up to six other people with them into the special access lines and those lines usually take minutes, not HOURS.

Man Breaks Into a Grocery Store And Eats a Feast!

30-year old Trevor Runyon broke into a Value-Market in Louisville, Kentucky and made himself an overnight feast!!

—Trevor waited until just before closing-time to slip into the store…and hid until employees closed down for the night.

–Then, he whipped himself up a meal of 6 steaks, 2 cases of beer, 2 pounds of shrimp and an entire birthday cake!

–After he polished off his “meal,” he hid in the store until the next day.  That’s just where cops found him the next morning.

–Surveillance video was all the evidence cops needed to arrest him.

A Woman Drops Her Purse in a Starbucks . . . and Her Gun Goes Off and Shoots Her Friend

On Sunday afternoon, Pamela Beck of Pinellas Park, Florida, and her friend, Amie Peterson, were at a Starbucks.

–As Pamela went to get her money, she dropped her purse.  And when it hit the ground, the .25-caliber HANDGUN she was carrying inside accidentally went OFF . . . and shot her friend in the leg.

–Amie was treated at a hospital and released.  All things considered, things could’ve turned out a LOT worse.  Pamela told the police her dad had given her the gun about a year ago, and she FORGOT it was in her purse.

–She doesn’t have a concealed weapons permit, so prosecutors are deciding whether she’ll be charged with a crime.

The Fire Department in New York Rescued a Cat Stuck in a Tree . . . and the Cop Who’d Tried to Rescue the Cat First

Yesterday afternoon, in Queens, a cat got stuck about 30 feet up in a tree.  And a cop actually took the time to climb up to try and save him.

–TRY is the key word, since the cop did NOT save the cat . . . and HE ended up getting stuck in the tree TOO.  Finally, the fire department showed up with a ladder, and rescued both the cat AND the cop.

–I never thought I’d say this, but I think New York needs more crime to get focused again.

FBI Swarms Guy’s House Because He Was Making RICE

It’s great that the FBI is looking out for us…but they might want to take note:  not every guy carrying a pressure cooker is doing something suspicious.

–Armed FBI agents, the SWAT team and the Bomb Squad surrounded the home of a Saudi student living in Michigan after neighbors spotted him carrying a pressure cooker outside.

–After tackling the guy to the ground and seizing his pressure cooker, they realized that he wasn’t a criminal.  He was just making rice!  The man had made a traditional Saudi Arabian rice dish and was taking it to a pot luck party at a friend’s house.

– The FBI apologized and told him to “be more careful.”

American Airlines Diverted a Flight and Kicked a Woman Off . . . Because She Wouldn’t Stop Singing Whitney Houston

Over the weekend, on an American Airlines flight from LAX in Los Angeles to JFK in New York, a female passenger apparently decided it was time to pay her respects to WHITNEY HOUSTON.

–So the woman started BELTING OUT Whitney songs.  The flight attendants asked her to stop, but she kept going.

–So the pilot ended up DIVERTING the flight and making an emergency landing in Kansas City . . . where the woman was arrested.

–Another passenger took a video of two cops escorting the woman off the plane . . . while she sings an off-key but heartfelt version of “I Will Always Love You”.

Angelina Jolie Had Both of Her Breasts Removed to Prevent Cancer 

ANGELINA JOLIE has revealed that she had both breasts removed after her doctor told her she had a high risk of breast cancer.

–Obviously, she had them surgically reconstructed.  She went through three months of medical procedures, which were completed on April 27th.

–She says, quote, “I do not feel any less of a woman.  I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.”

–Angelina praises BRAD PITT for standing by her through it all . . . quote, “I am fortunate to have a partner who is so loving and supportive.

Barbara Walters Did Announce Her Retirement on “The View”

As expected, BARBARA WALTERS announced her retirement on “The View” yesterday.

–She said, “I have been on television continually for over 50 years . . . but in the summer of 2014 . . . I plan to retire from appearing on television at all . . . I’m perfectly healthy, this is my decision, I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and this is what I want to do.”

– But she said she’ll continue to executive-produce “The View”, and added, quote, “There will be special occasions and I will come back, I’m not walking into the sunset.”

Dr. Joyce Brothers Has Died 

Celebrity psychologist DR. JOYCE BROTHERS died yesterday at the age of 85.

– Joyce was the ORIGINAL pop psychologist . . . kind of the prototype for DR. PHIL and DR. DREW . . . except that people actually LIKED her.

–Joyce appeared in tons of movies and TV shows, often as herself.  She was on “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson” almost 100 times.  She was also a prolific author and columnist.

A Woman Slapped a Cop So She Would Get Jail Time . . . and Have to Quit Smoking

31-year-old Etta Lopez of Sacramento, California wanted to quit smoking.  So she decided the best strategy would be . . . getting herself THROWN IN JAIL.

–On Wednesday, Etta followed through with her plan, and SLAPPED A POLICE OFFICER.  She told the cop she wanted to go to jail, where she’d be FORCED to go without cigarettes.

–Well, part one of the plan worked . . . she was arrested and he’s now in jail.  As for whether part two of the plan worked . . . we’ll have to see if this really does get her to stop smoking. 

A Man Is Arrested for Bringing a Pipe Bomb to a Gun Buyback Event

When cities sponsor gun buyback days, the whole point is that you can give them a gun no questions asked.  And that’s fair.  But if you bring HOMEMADE ARTILLERY instead, they’re probably gonna ask a few questions.

–Over the weekend, the city of Los Angeles was holding an event where they traded Visa and grocery store gift cards for guns.

–And it went great, until one guy brought in a HOMEMADE PIPE BOMB.

–It’s illegal to manufacture or possess a pipe bomb.  Fortunately, the police safely detonated it.  The man was arrested. 

Lion Meat!!  It’s Whats For Dinner

A Tampa, FL, restaurant has pulled its controversial lion meat tacos off the menu after getting complaints and even threats from animal lovers.

–Taco Fusion isn’t exactly repentant, saying, “If you guys are mad now, just wait till you see what we do next.”

–Taco Fusion sells all manner of exotic meats –bison, shark, ostrich, gazelle, camel and kangaroo have all graced its menu. The lion tacos sold for $35, and have done well enough to sell out.

–One patron said, “It tastes kind of like venison and the texture is like gator.”

Watch Kanye West Bang His Head into a Street Sign, Then Freak Out on the Paparazzi 

If you’re not a fan of KANYE, then today is Christmas, your birthday and Valentine’s Day all rolled into one.

–KANYE WEST ran headfirst into a sign because he was looking down while walking in order to avoid having his picture taken by the paparazzi.

–He ended up going BALLISTIC on a photographer, saying, quote, “Don’t take no photos!  Stop it!  All of you **** stop it, man!”

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Is Lindsay Lohan Trying to Leave Betty Ford Because They Took Her Adderall? 

Sources say LINDSAY LOHAN wants to leave Betty Ford because they took away her Adderall.  Supposedly, the clinic’s doctors assessed her and decided she doesn’t need it, and so she wants out.

–This comes right after prosecutors APPROVED Betty Ford as the clinic where Lindsay will do her court-ordered 90-day rehab.

–Lindsay’s best move would probably be to stay right where she is.  A source says that the judge will send her to jail if she pulls anymore rehab shenanigans.

Barbara Walters Is Retiring 

BARBARA WALTERS is retiring next summer.  She’ll announce it officially today on “The View”, but she already released a statement saying, quote, “I do not want to appear on another program or climb another mountain.  I want instead to sit on a sunny field and admire the very gifted women . . . and OK, some men too, who will be taking my place.”

–Barbara Walters is 83 years old.  She’s been working in TV journalism for over 50 years.  She started as a writer and researcher for NBC’s “Today” show in 1961.

More bad news for Carnival Cruises — 2 People Disappear Overboard Into Shark-Infested Waters

As if Carnival Cruises needed any more bad publicity…comes news of two Carnival Cruise passengers falling overboard into shark-infested waters on Wednesday night off the coast of Australia.

–The REALLY sad part is that Carnival didn’t even notice that the 2 passengers had fallen overboard until the next morning.

–Surveillance camera footage shows the 30-year-old man and 26-year-old woman fall from the ship’s mid deck into the shark infested waters…and even though the cruise ship has around 600 surveillance cameras that are supposed to be “constantly monitored,”….no one reported seeing them fall at the time.

–Officials have called off the search for their bodies….you know…thanks to the sharks.

Delta Air Lines Apologizes After Sending Two Dead Bodies to the Wrong Funeral Homes

Delta Air Lines just issued an apology after they sent TWO DEAD BODIES in caskets to the WRONG FUNERAL HOMES earlier this week.

–Both caskets were loaded on the same flight in New York.  One was headed to Virginia, one to South Carolina . . . and the shipping labels got switched.

–The families took this WAY better than you’d guess.  Latasha Crumpton was waiting for her uncle’s body in South Carolina.  She says, quote, “I’m sure he’s laughing about it.  I know he is.  He went with the flow.”

–Delta apologized and gave the standard, quote, “we are investigating” response.

A Guy Shoots a Teenager . . . and the Victim’s Mom Searches WebMD for Advice on Gunshot Wounds Instead of Going to the Hospital

On Tuesday night, a 24-year-old accidentally SHOT a 14-year-old in the leg.

–We’re guessing the 24-year-old is dating the kid’s mom . . . because instead of rushing her son to the hospital, the mom spent HOURS on WebMD and other websites looking up how to treat gunshot wounds.

–Finally, almost eight hours later, they went to the hospital.  The 24-year-old was arrested.

Manti Te’o's Fake Girlfriend Made the “Maxim” Hot 100 

“Maxim” released the complete Hot 100 yesterday, and LENNAY KEKUA is on it, at #69.

–If that name doesn’t ring a bell, she was MANTI TE’O'S FAKE GIRLFRIEND.

–”Maxim” says, quote, “After Manti Te’o's fake girlfriend hoax of 2012, we think it might be nice to have an invisible girl of our own to love.  Why not?  She’s got a ton of great qualities, including looking awesome in a bikini.”

–As we already heard, MILEY CYRUS tops the list this year.  She’s followed by SELENA GOMEZ and RIHANNA.

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Will Alex Trebek Leave “Jeopardy?”

ALEX TREBEK doesn’t think he’ll continue to do “Jeopardy!” after his contract expires in 2016.  He will turn 76 that year.

–His rumored replacements include MATT LAUER and ANDERSON COOPER . . . and Trebek thinks both of them could do it.

Randy Jackson Says He’s Leaving “American Idol” After This Season 

RANDY JACKSON has announced that he’s leaving “American Idol” after this season.  He was the last of the original “Idol” judges.

–In a very Randy-like statement, he said, quote, “Yo!  Yo!  Yo!  To put all of the speculation to the rest, after 12 years of judging on ‘American Idol’ I have decided it is time to leave after this season.”

–Meanwhile, there are reports that “Idol” does not plan on inviting ANY of this season’s judges back, but there’s no official word on that.  Supposedly, the show wants to bring in some fresh blood.

After 12 Years, Will Enrique Iglesias Finally Say “I DO”?

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Various rag mags are reporting that singer ENRIQUE IGLESIAS and tennis star ANNA KOURNIKOVA will reportedly be getting married next week in Miami, FL, after 12 years together.

–They’ve reportedly invited stars including JENNIFER LOPEZ, EVA LONGORIA and DAVID and VICTORIA BECKHAM to their over-the top celebration, however, neither star has commented on the story.

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Justin Bieber A Judge On “American Idol”?

It’s no secret that “American Idol” isn’t the ratings beast of yesteryear, but are they ready to start fresh?

–Executive producer NIGEL LYTHGOE is fantasizing about a “dream team” of judges that would include JUSTIN BIEBER, SELENA GOMEZ, PINK and SEAN “Diddy” COMBS.

–Rumor has it they realize the show isn’t hip –not to mention boring.  Word is no one –including original judge RANDY JACKSON– is safe with the exception of that friendly, toothy, handsome host, RYAN SEACREST.

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Grasshoppers Swarm Paul McCartney’s Stage In Brazil

A swarm of leaping grasshoppers joined Paul McCartney on stage on Monday night at his concert in Brazil.

–The insects — which nearly covered the stage at some points – seemed to really like Sir Paul, because several landed on him and stayed there for about an hour.

–Paul was a good sport.  He actually introduced one of the bugs, naming him “Harold.”

Are There No Tow-Truck Drivers In China?

In China, plans to demolish a parking lot were put on hold while workers waited for the last car owner to drive his car off the lot.

–When he didn’t show after a 10-day wait, construction workers leveled every part of the parking lot except where the sole car remained parked, leaving for a bizarre photo of a car surrounded by rubble.

–If and when the driver returns, he’ll be a bit bewildered to find his car parked in a parking lot that no longer exists.  No word on what’ll happen to the car if the owner doesn’t return.

–Click here to see a photo of the car…

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Imagine Being Searched Every Time You Leave Work To Make Sure You Didn’t Steal Anything

Amazon warehouse workers are suing their employer because they have to wait in line for up to 25 minutes before leaving work . . . while security searches them to make sure they’re not stealing anything.

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A Cat That Got Lost During Superstorm Sandy Found Its Way Home Six Months Later

After Superstorm Sandy struck last October, 86-year-old Uranie Roberts and his 62-year-old daughter Carol Baumann were evacuated from their home in Toms River, New Jersey.

–They left in a rubber raft, and took their cat Porsche with them to stay with relatives eight miles away.  But after they got there . . . Porsche escaped.

–After the storm, Uranie and Carol eventually went back home, without Porsche.  And last Wednesday, they heard a noise on their deck.  When they opened the blinds, Porsche was outside waiting for them, after finding his way back home . . . SIX MONTHS after the storm.

–Click here to see a picture of Porsche.

This week’s featured pet is BENTLEY

Bentley is a male red and white Boston Terrier mix who was rescued from Olive Branch Animal Shelter. He is built like a Boston, but possibly mixed with an English Bulldog. He is approximately two-years-old with a great temperament. He gets along with other dogs and cats. Bentley is heartworm negative, current on vaccinations and neutered. He weighs in at 28 lbs. He rides well in a car. Bentley would probably be best in an active home with older children.

If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.

For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here.

We couldn’t do Wet Nose Wednesday without the generous support of our sponsor, Dixie Memorial Pet Cemetery.

Carrie Underwood is the New Voice of “Sunday Night Football”

NBC wisely asked CARRIE UNDERWOOD to be the next smoking hot country star to sing the introduction to “Sunday Night Football” . . . and she accepted.

–Carrie and her version of “Waiting All Day for Sunday Night” will debut on the September 8th game between the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Giants.

–It sounds like Carrie’s pretty happy with the job.  She said, quote, “I am thrilled to be a part of NBC’s ‘Sunday Night Football’ and am so honored they asked me.”

Michael Jackson Is Being Accused of Molestation Again 

So much for letting MICHAEL JACKSON rest in peace.  He’s being accused of child molestation again.

–This time the accuser is actually pretty famous.  It’s WADE ROBSON . . . a choreographer who’s worked with some of the biggest names in music, like Britney Spears, ‘N Sync, Usher and Pink.

–Wade is 30 years old now, and he says he began a friendship with Michael when he was 5.  By the age of 7, he was having sleepovers at Neverland.  Those continued until he was 14.

–Wade is seeking money from Michael’s estate for, quote, “childhood sexual abuse”.  But his claim was submitted under seal, so we don’t know the specifics.

–Interestingly though, during Michael’s 2005 molestation trial, Wade testified that Michael NEVER did anything inappropriate with him.

Kristen Stewart is the Least-Trusted Movie Star 

“Reader’s Digest” set out to find the 100 Most Trusted People in America.  And along the way, they discovered that KRISTEN STEWART scored a mere 24% . . . making her the LEAST-trusted movie star.

–TOM CRUISE was the least trusted MALE actor, with 27%.

–Meanwhile, TOM HANKS got the highest score of ANYONE on the list, with 64%.  He was followed by SANDRA BULLOCK with 63%.

–Here are the 5 Most Trusted People in America . . .1.  Tom Hanks, 2.  Sandra Bullock, 3.  Denzel Washington, 4.  Meryl Streep, and 5.  Maya Angelou.

A 106-Year-Old Cougar Just Married a Man Who’s a Young, Sexy 73 Years Old

I don’t think there’s a Guinness World Record for WORLD’S OLDEST COUGAR . . . but this woman should win it.

–106-year-old Marjorie Hemmerde of Kew, Australia just married a man who’s 33 YEARS YOUNGER than her.  Now THAT’S a cougar taking down her prey.

–And believe it or not, it’s the FIRST MARRIAGE for both of them.

–Marjorie and 73-year-old Gavin Crawford met three years ago at the Kew Gardens Nursing Home.  According to Marjorie, quote, “We just sort of melted into each other.  We get along like old friends, the age gap doesn’t matter.”

A Man Is Arrested After Taking His Crack Rock Out For a Courthouse Checkpoint

Here’s more proof that CRACK DON’T SMOKE ITSELF.

–On Monday, 31-year-old Cedric Hunter was going to the courthouse in Spartanburg County, South Carolina.

–As Cedric entered the courthouse, he had to empty his pockets at the security checkpoint.  So he put his box of Newport cigarettes in the plastic dish, the lid opened . . . and his razor blade and CRACK ROCK fell right out.

–He was arrested for possession of crack cocaine.

Inmate May Have Used Spoon to Bust Out of Prison

Oleg Topalov is an alleged murderer serving time in the Matrosskaya Tishina Detention Center, one of Moscow’s “most impregnable” prisons. In the past 20 years, only 3 people have escaped….until yesterday…when Oleg became the 4th person to bust-out!

–Oleg escaped by digging a hole in the ceiling….with a SPOON!  After getting through the ceiling hole, he ended up on the roof and climbed over the fence.

–Police are still searching for Oleg.

Excited about Justin Timberlake coming to Memphis? Want to buy your tickets before everyone else? Join the Tennessee Kids Club and YOU can buy tickets starting MONDAY at 10am (instead of Friday, May 17th at 10am). Here’s the link to join the club and get your code.

http://justintimberlake.com/thetennesseekids

Where do Cigarettes cost $30 a PIECE?

Mayor Michael Bloomberg has banned smoking at all jails in New York, which has sent black market prices soaring to a staggering $200 a pack.

–Since the new ban 3 years ago, contraband busts have risen by 40% and sources say that a single cigarette, with a street price of 50 to 75 cents, now sells for $30 at Rikers Island.

A TV Station Put a Turtle in the Street to See If People Would Swerve . . . and Four People Hit It Intentionally, and Someone Stole It

If you see an animal in the road . . . do you INTENTIONALLY try to hit it?

–An NBC affiliate in Oklahoma City wanted to see if people would SWERVE to avoid an animal in the road.  So last week, they put a rubber turtle in the street and observed what happened over two days.

–In general, most people swerved out of the way, but not everyone did.  Four drivers went to the dark side . . . and INTENTIONALLY RAN OVER the turtle.  And one car of guys saw the turtle, stopped . . . and STOLE IT.

–The news chased them down to get it back.  The driver told them he stole the turtle because he RACES TURTLES.  Quote, “It looked real.”

A Single Mom Accidentally Buys an Extra Lottery Ticket . . . and Wins $14 Million

Thuan Le is a single mother of four in Mission Viejo, California . . . and every week she spends the same amount of money on the lottery.

–Last week, she THOUGHT she put five one-dollar bills in the self-serve lottery machine at CVS.  She bought $4 worth of Powerball tickets . . . and a $1 SuperLottoPlus ticket.

–Then she noticed she had a one-dollar credit . . . because she’d accidentally put in SIX dollar bills instead of five.  So she decided to go ahead and buy another SuperLottoPlus ticket.

–And one of the two tickets ended up matching all six numbers . . . which won her the $14 million jackpot.  

Charlie Sheens Ex Needs More Than Just Rehab!

RadarOnline.com reports CHARLIE SHEEN’s third ex-wife, BROOKE MUELLER, was placed on an involuntary psychiatric hold at the UCLA Medical Center last Wednesday night and Child Protective Services took custody of her kids the next day.

–A “friend” claims Brook, now 35-years-old, was “not in her right mind,” had been “using drugs for days” and is still hospitalized.

–Luckily, DENISE RICHARDS –who was Charlie’s second wife– volunteered to take care of the four-year-old twin boys, BOB and MAX, while Brooke’s mom maintains “everything is fine.”

Mama June and Sugar Bear Didn’t Get Married, They Had a Commitment Ceremony 

HONEY BOO BOO’S parents MAMA JUNE and SUGAR BEAR didn’t get married on Sunday.  They just had a “commitment ceremony”.

–June says, quote, “The day was very special mostly because my girls were able to take part in it.  I felt like it was important for them to see this moment and celebrate my love for Sugar Bear.”

–The ceremony will be shown during the new season of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”, which premieres on TLC July 17th.

Patrick Schwarzenegger Was Kicked Out of a Club for Throwing Ice at the DJ 

19-year-old PATRICK SCHWARZENEGGER was kicked out of a Hollywood club Saturday night for being underage.

–He actually would have gotten away with it if he didn’t start throwing ice cubes at the DJ.  That’s when a waitress recognized him and had him kicked out.

–Then, outside the club, Patrick through a temper tantrum while the paparazzi snapped photos and shot video.

A Pit Bull Rescued a Woman from a Burning House . . . and Then She Went Back in to Rescue Him

Jackie Bonasera of Long Island, New York has a pet pit bull named Cain.

–On Friday, Jackie was upstairs drying her hair, when she heard Cain barking.  Since he almost NEVER barks, Jackie knew something was wrong, and went downstairs to check it out.

–She found flames spreading from a fire in her garage to the rest of the house.  Jackie got out of the house quickly . . . but she noticed that Cain hadn’t come out with her.  So she put her robe over her face to protect herself from smoke . . . and went back IN to get HIM.

–Jackie said, quote, “He saved my life . . . I had to save his.”  Both of them got back out without being injured.

A Woman Goes Out to Celebrate Getting Her License Back After a DUI . . . and Gets a DUI Driving Home

Thursday was a big day for 58-year-old Erin James of Brookfield, Illinois.  She just got her license back after a DUI conviction last year.  And to celebrate getting her driving privileges back . . . she went out DRINKING.

–You can see where this is going.  Her license renewal came to a very quick end . . . because a few hours later, she was pulled over driving herself home, and was arrested for drunk driving.

–Erin blew a .155 on the breathalyzer, which is just about double the legal limit.  The police say Erin intentionally drove someone else’s car to the bar because her car had one of those court-ordered breathalyzer ignition locks.

–This time, Erin is looking at losing her license for TEN YEARS . . . and seven years in prison.

It’s Time To Re-evaluate Your Current Career And Become a Water-Slide Tester!

This 22-year-old college student from England has the coolest job ever.

–SEBASTIAN SMITH won a 6-month contract to travel around the world as a water-slide tester. Smith beat out two-thousand other applicants for the opportunity to rate attractions at 20 different SplashWorld resorts.

ABC News decided to see if a higher price is worth it.  For the show “20/20 Confessions” they had four women get haircuts at four different price points.  One was a $28 cut, one was $75, one was $200, and one was $600.

Then they asked people if they could tell which haircut cost which amount.  And as you’d suspect, almost no one could.

Only one guy got all four right . . . and his response to that was, quote, “I’m kind of embarrassed.”

Here are the pictures of the haircuts…can you tell which ones are expensive and which are cheap?

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ANSWERS!

Mama June and Sugar Bear from “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” Got Married

MAMA JUNE and SUGAR BEAR from “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” got married yesterday in McIntyre, Georgia.  June wore a camouflage wedding dress.  The wedding was taped, so we can expect to see it sometime soon on TLC.

–June and Sugar Bear met in an online chat room nine years ago.  The result, of course, was Honey Boo Boo.

–Click here for some pics….and click here for a picture of the wedding invitation.

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Miley Cyrus Tops “Maxim’s” Hot 100 

“Maxim” hasn’t released its Hot 100 list yet, but we know who tops it:  MILEY CYRUS.

-She Tweeted the news over the weekend, saying, quote, “Didn’t know this was coming out yet!  I’m so happy to be #1 on Maxims HOT 100!  #myfanskickass #dreamsdocometrue.”  BAR REFAELI was #1 on last year’s list, and Miley only made it to #68.

-Miley also included a picture from the magazine, and it IS pretty sexy.  Check it out…

Lindsay Lohan Checked Into Betty Ford 

LINDSAY LOHAN just barely avoided a probation violation by checking into the Betty Ford Clinic in Rancho Mirage, California at around 1:30 A.M. Friday.  (click here to see some pics)

–Lindsay’s mom DINA says Lindsay didn’t check into Morningside on Thursday because it hadn’t been approved by the court.

–It’s not clear why she checked into Betty Ford, since the court hadn’t signed off on that either.  But Betty Ford is a well-known, respected clinic, so she probably figured they’d be cool with it.  And sources say that won’t be a problem.

A Man With No Arms Gets A Ticket While Driving, But What For?

In Canada, Saskatoon police say they have safety concerns about a man with no arms who was caught driving.

–STEVE SIMONAR lost his arms in a 1985 boating accident and needs help with most things, but he can drive on his own.  He’s had many vehicles modified over the years so he can drive with his feet.

–His left foot turns a small steering wheel near the floor and his right foot works the gas and brake pedals.

–But still, the cop who pulled him over gave him a ticket, not because he was driving without arms, but. . . . . . . for not wearing a seatbelt!!!  A modification he hasn’t worked out yet.

When Does a DUI Conviction Carry A 13 Year Prison Sentence

–When does a DUI conviction carry a 13-year prison sentence? When it’s your eighth one.

STUPID CRIMINALS!!!

–43-year old Timothy Morrow’s first DUI was when he was only 17-years-old!  Since then, he has not only been convicted of DUI 8 different times….but he has also been cited for boating under the influence twice!!

–The court date for Timothy’s latest DUI was this weekend and the judge on the case called him the “Grim reaper” of the road…before sentencing him to 13 years in prison!

A Principal Cancelled School Today . . . Because the Weather Was Fabulous

It’s supposed to be 70 degrees and sunny on the Puget Sound of Washington state today . . . and when the principal of Bellingham Christian School saw the forecast earlier in the week, he sent a note home to parents telling them school would be cancelled . . . for GOOD weather.

–The name of this hero is Bob Samson.  He says, quote, “Typically we cancel school for bad weather, so why not have some fun and cancel school due to fabulous weather?”

–It’s also because Bellingham Christian School didn’t use any snow days this winter, so they had a few days off to spare.

Lindsay Lohan May Not Have Checked Into Rehab Yesterday

LINDSAY LOHAN was supposed to check into rehab yesterday . . . but we ended the evening not knowing if she did.

–Lindsay arrived in California yesterday morning to check in to Morningside Recovery Center in Newport Beach, California.  She walked in and walked right back out.  A source says, quote, “She told people there that she didn’t need rehab.  And then she left.  Everyone was stunned.”

–Then a source claimed that Lindsay was on her way to LAX to catch a flight back to New York.  Of course it could be that she decided to go to the New York clinic she’d chosen initially, but we don’t know for certain.

–If Lindsay did NOT check into rehab yesterday that’s a violation of her probation, so here we go again!

Has A Due Date For Kim Kardashian’s Baby Been Revealed?

KANYE WEST cryptically Tweeted, quote, “June Eighteen” yesterday.  He didn’t elaborate . . . but it’s a Tuesday, so it could be the release date for his next album.

–But some people are speculating that it could be something else, like KIM KARDASHIAN’S due date.

The Dash Cam Video from Reese Witherspoon’s Arrest Is Pretty Awesome

Dash cam video from REESE WITHERSPOON’S arrest last month in Atlanta hit the web yesterday, and it’s pretty awesome.

–Reese drops some classic lines such as, “I’m a U.S. citizen.  I am allowed to stand on American ground and ask any question I want to ask.” . . . and “I’m obstructing your justice?  Really?  I’m being anti-American?  Wow . . . interesting.”

–And for the record . . . when Reese says “Do you know my name?” and “You’re about to find out who I am,” she’s DEFINITELY trying to play the fame card.

–Meanwhile . . . Reese entered a plea of no contest for disorderly conduct yesterday.  All she has to do is pay a $213 fine.

–Here’s the video…

Beyoncé offends British Royalty!

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At every show, Beyoncé chooses a random audience member in the front row to sing with her…but little did she know that the random audience member she picked in London….was sixth in line to the British throne!

–Yes, Beyoncé stuck her microphone under Princess Eugenie’s royal nose, urging her to sing, “To the left, to the left.”

–But Princess Eugenie was so embarrassed that Beyoncé didn’t know recognize her that she ducked down and hid from everyone.  Beyoncé was forced to quickly find a new, willing victim.

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From the Bowels of Human Excess

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MATT LAUER may not be the most popular guy on morning television, but certainly isn’t crying about it during his time off.

–A photographer for the NY Daily News spotted the “Today” anchor learning how to operate his new Hinckley T38 –a fabulous yacht that comes with a $1.4-million-dollar price tag!

–Seems that Lauer is sending a message through his vessel –he’s named the boat Resilience.

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Is Jennifer Aniston Pushing Back Her Wedding So It Doesn’t Overlap With Brad and Angelina’s? 

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“Us Weekly” claims that JENNIFER ANISTON is pushing back her wedding to JUSTIN THEROUX so it doesn’t conflict with that of BRAD PITT and ANGELINA JOLIE.

–A source says Jennifer heard that Brad and Angelina’s wedding was coming up, so her first instinct was to rush to get hers over with first.  Then she decided to just put her plans on hold.

–A source says, quote, “She does not want her day associated with them . . . [she hasn't done any planning] in a month.”

New Zealand’s Banned Baby Names List

The New Zealand government regulates baby names, refusing to register any it deems offensive, too close to an official title, or too likely to cause a lifetime of pain for the baby.

–If that sounds overly authoritarian, you might change your mind after hearing some of the names it has rejected over the past 12 years including: Lucifer (six times), Messiah (twice), Mafia No Fear, 4real, and Queen Victoria.

–Parents who refuse to comply face serious consequences—like jail time and fines!

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Norway’s Weird Problem: Not Enough Garbage

Oslo, Norway has a problem that a lot of cities would love to share: a major shortage of garbage.

–Around half of Oslo is heated by garbage-burning power plants, but since everyone in Oslo recycles, the plants simply can’t get enough garbage!!!

–Oslo is now IMPORTING TRASH from as far away as Ireland, but it faces stiff competition from cities across northern Europe….who are facing the same problem of “not enough garbage.”

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Baby Born In Subway Is Given Free Rides For Life

A baby born in a Mexico City subway station will be allowed to ride the trains free for life.

–The baby’s 22-year-old mother was trying to take the subway to the hospital on Tuesday when she went into labor.

–Subway employees, police and paramedics helped her give birth on the subway platform.

–Mayor Miguel Angel Mancera announced on Twitter that the baby has earned the right to ride the subway free for life.

Germantown Exeter and Poplar By Hobby Lobby

–Pick up time is 90 minutes prior to tip-off

Bartlett

Walmart on Highway 64 near Wolfchase

–Pick up time is 75 minutes prior to tip-off

East Memphis

Poplar Plaza (On Poplar near Highland)

–Pick up time is 60 minutes prior to tip-off

Southeast Memphis

Halle Stadium

–Pick up time is 75 minutes prior to tip-off

East Memphis

Laurelwood (On Poplar near Perkins Extd.)

–Pick up time is 60 minutes prior to tip-off

Call (901) 274-6282 for more information

This week’s featured pet is Daisy.

Daisy is about 35lbs. She is a lovable girl that is house and kennel trained and goes to her kennel with no problem. She adores people and is such a good Companion. Daisy only wants to be loved on and have her belly rubbed. She loves going outside to play but is more of a alpha female so if there are other dogs males would be better. She lives in a house full of both male and female small and large dogs and even cats but she is the alpha so it all works out. Daisy and her puppy were living in a burned out house where men where throwing food out in the street playing a deadly game of cat and mouse with the dogs. Every time they would come out in the street one of the men would try to run over them. Thanks to a caring Memphis Police Officer they were saved and are now ready to find a wonderful home of their own!

If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.

For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here.

We couldn’t do Wet Nose Wednesday without the generous support of our sponsor, Dixie Memorial Pet Cemetery.

Would You Get a Tattoo of Your Company’s Logo For a 15% Raise?

Would you be willing to get your company’s logo TATTOOED on your body to get a MASSIVE RAISE?

–There’s a real estate company in New York City called Rapid Realty that’s offering its employees that deal.  Get our logo tattooed . . . and get a 15% RAISE.

–There’s no rule on how big the tattoo has to be, as long as you get one, you get the raise.

–Anthony Lolli is the owner and he says he got the idea from an employee who got the logo tattooed JUST out of loyalty.  Anthony wanted to repay his loyalty, so he thought of the raise idea.

–So far, FORTY of his employees have taken the deal.  Anthony is also covering the cost of the tattoo itself.

–Click here to see some pictures of the employees with Rapid Realty tattoos

A Burglar Breaks Into a Business . . . But Can’t Resist Falling Asleep On Their Bearskin Rug

Last week, a drunk 25-year-old broke into a real estate office in Wisconsin.

–First, he took the computers outside.

–But before he could leave with them, he spotted a large BEARSKIN RUG.

–Apparently it looked too good to pass up, so he curled up on it and went to sleep.

–Employees found him asleep on the rug when they got to work the next morning, and he was arrested.

A Guy Lost His Life Savings Trying to Win a Carnival Game

On Saturday, a 30-year-old man in New Hampshire hit up a traveling carnival . . . and ended up losing his LIFE SAVINGS trying to win a game where you throw a ball into a tub.

–He was trying to win an Xbox and before he knew it, he had lost $300.  But he wasn’t going to let that defeat him.  So he went home, got his life savings . . . all $2,300 of it . . . and dumped ALL of it into Tubs of Fun.  AND HE NEVER WON.

–So he complained to the POLICE that the game was rigged, and they’re investigating.

–For what it’s worth, Tubs of Fun made a list of seven rigged carnival games.  Click here to see it. 

Lindsay Lohan Has Until Tomorrow to Check Into Rehab . . . So She Hit the Bars on Monday 

What do you do when you only have a few days left until you’re required to check into rehab?  You hit the bars, obviously.  Especially if you’re LINDSAY LOHAN.

–Lindsay is supposed to check into rehab TOMORROW for a court-ordered, 90-day stay.  And on Monday, she was at a New York City club called the Bitter End.

–But sources say Lindsay was only there to see some friends perform, and she drank SODA all night.

–Meanwhile, E! Online says Lindsay has NOT chosen a rehab facility yet . . . and if she doesn’t check into one tomorrow, she’ll be in violation of her probation and could end up in jail.

“Duck Dynasty” Was the Most-Watched Show on Cable, “American Idol” Barely Made the Top Ten

“American Idol’s” ratings continued to slide last week, with both episodes finishing behind “The Voice” and “Dancing with the Stars”.

–”NCIS” was the last week’s #1 show.  Meanwhile, the top three shows on cable were “Duck Dynasty”, the first round of the NFL Draft, and “Game of Thrones”.

Bear Grylls’ Producer Got a Horrific-Looking Snake Bite 

This is probably something you don’t want to see this morning . . . unless you’ve REALLY got a strong stomach.

–Yesterday, BEAR GRYLLS Tweeted, quote, “Our ‘Man Vs. Wild’ producer [is] suffering from a brutal snake bite . . . fighting the injury with courage.”

–And he included a picture of the injury . . . and it’s NASTY!  It’s a gigantic open wound . . . and there’s BONE visible.

(If you actually want to see this thing, click here. WARNING!!!  This picture is even more GRAPHIC than you think it’s going to be.  If I were you, I’d pass.)

NBA Star Jason Collins Has Come Out of the Closet 

This is the first of, what I’m sure will be more after the ice has been broken, but NBA center JASON COLLINS has come out and admitted that he’s gay.

–He’s the first ACTIVE athlete to do it in one of the four big North American sports leagues:  The NBA, the NFL, the MLB and the NHL.

–A TON of current and former players are showing OVERWHELMING SUPPORT for him on Twitter.  I.E.  PAU GASOL said, “It’s amazing to see such courage from Jason Collins . . . myself and the NBA family supports you, Jason!”

Lindsay Lohan will Make Money Off Of Rehab!!

Lindsay Lohan has found a way to make money off of rehab – BLOGGING!

–The New York Post reports that Lindsay is in talks with Web site Celebuzz to detail her deepest thoughts after her 90 days of court-ordered rehab.

–Lindsay would submit her blog postings beginning in August, right AFTER her the rehab stint (which will reportedly start Thursday at the Seafield Center in Westhampton Beach).

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Could Tim Tebow End Up in the Canadian Football League . . . or the Lingerie Football League? 

As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, Tim Tebow has been released by the New York Jets and it would appear that nobody in the NFL wants him.

–If TIM TEBOW doesn’t score another gig in the NFL, he’s got two other offers on the table.

–The Montreal Alouettes of the Canadian Football League said he can compete to be their BACKUP quarterback . . . and the Lingerie Football League wants him to be their quarterbacks coach.

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A Drone Will Deliver Your Beer At Your Next Music Festival!!!

To keep attendees all liquored up at the OppiKoppi music festival in South Africa this August, there will be an unmanned drone on hand to deliver booze from the sky.

–Partygoers will be able to phone in their orders, and the drone will pass over and drop the beers from tiny parachutes on to the camp site.

–”This is the sort of ordinance drones should really deliver all over the world,” reads the drone makers’ description on YouTube.

Is That Car Steaming Or Is It On Fire?

A driver in Romania is suing the fire department for totaling his new car.

–52-year-old RADU PETRESCU had just purchased a vehicle that was factory fitted with a special heating system.  The state-of-the-art heater uses steam to protect the engine from severe winter weather.

–But, firemen saw the parked car emitting steam and thought it was on fire.  So, they pried it open with emergency tools, destroying the hood and part of the engine.

–Petrescu says, “They’re supposed to know the difference –they’re firefighters.”

33,000 People Applied for a One-Way Trip to Mars in Less Than Two Days

Back in March, a private company called Mars One announced they were offering FREE TRIPS to Mars in 2023.

–But there was a catch . . . it’s a ONE-WAY ticket.  So you’re not just volunteering to GO to Mars, you’re also volunteering to DIE ON Mars.  Who’d be interested in THAT deal?  It turns out, a LOT of people.

–One week ago, Mars One opened up the application process . . . and in just the first two days, 33,000 PEOPLE applied to take the one-way trip to Mars.

–The application process is still open to anyone who’s healthy and over age 18.  You can submit your application at Mars-One.com.  They’re only planning to take 24 people in the end, so the odds aren’t with you to die on Mars.

A Woman Accidentally Swallows a Diamond . . . So Her Doctor Mines It Out During a Colonoscopy

The Tampa Woman’s Club in Florida held a fundraising event.  Glasses of champagne were $20, and each one had a cubic zirconia at the bottom.  But ONE glass had a 1-carat DIAMOND in it, worth about $5,000.

–80-year-old Miriam Tucker was drinking her champagne, she accidentally SWALLOWED the stone.  And of course, hers was the one with the diamond in it.

–Fortunately, Miriam was scheduled for a COLONOSCOPY two days later, and her doctor MINED the diamond from her colon!!!  Miriam took it to a jewelry store.

–They confirmed it WAS the real diamond . . . and its adventure did NOT affect its value.

–Click here to see a picture of Miriam with her diamond.

The Most Successful Stud Horse Ever is Dead . . . After Fathering 1,452 Colts

A horse named Storm Cat died in Kentucky on Wednesday, at age 30.

–As a race horse, he earned more than half a million dollars.

–But he also earned that much almost EVERY TIME he was bred with a female horse.

–He spent the last 25 years becoming the most successful stud horse ever, and fathered 1,452 colts.

–All together they earned $127 million winning races, and $319 million being sold at auction.

A Man in Florida Tries to Shoot a Squirrel for Dinner with a BB Gun . . . And Ends Up in the Hospital

Last week, 31-year-old William Lloyd of Gainesville, Florida grabbed his BB gun, and went out to hunt himself some SQUIRREL for dinner.

–When he spotted a squirrel, he fired.  But his gun was broken, and couldn’t hold the BB cartridge correctly.  So William had TAPED it in place.  That didn’t work, and the cartridge EXPLODED.

–William took BB gun cartridge shrapnel to his arm and leg, and was taken to the hospital and treated for injuries.  The squirrel got away.

–William has a long criminal history that includes everything from grand theft to drug possession, so he’s not supposed to have a firearm in his possession, which includes BB guns!!  He was arrested! 

–Well, lo an behold, on Friday that the 60-year-old Pitino was true to his word, getting a big ol’ commemorative “L” tatted to his left shoulder blade.

Ashton Kutcher Got Into a Fight With a Security Guard at a Country Music Festival 

ASHTON KUTCHER got into a fight with a security guard at the Stagecoach country music festival in Indio, California over the weekend.

–TMZ says that Ashton was in the VIP area when a woman approached to say hi and shake his hand, and Ashton was cool with that.

–But for some reason, the security guard shoved both Ashton and the woman . . . which resulted in Ashton and the guy getting into a “violent” shoving match.

–Ashton’s friends had to pull him away, and then they left.  Witnesses say this was NOT Ashton’s fault, and the security guard was way out of line.

–Click here to see a picture of Ashton at the fest…in his cowboy hat.

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“Two and a Half Men” Has Been Cleared for Another Season

CBS has renewed “Two and a Half Men” for an 11th season.

–ASHTON KUTCHER and JON CRYER have signed one-year deals to return, but ANGUS T. JONES’ status is still up in the air.

–Supposedly, he’s been dropped as a series regular, but he IS in talks to remain onboard as a recurring character.

–So if they drop the kid from the show, doesn’t “Two and a Half Men” become “two men, and HALF of a half man?” or something like that?

Michael Jordan Gets Married For The Second Time

Michael Jordan got married for the second time this past weekend.

–According to Eurweb.com, the 50-year-old NBA legend married 35-year-old Yvette Prieto on Saturday in Palm Beach, Florida.

–There were 500 wedding guests, which included Tiger Woods, Scottie Pippen, Patrick Ewing and more.

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Kim Kardashian Won’t Do a Nude, Pregnant Photo Shoot? 

If there’s anyone who wouldn’t mind posing nude and pregnant, you’d think it would be KIM KARDASHIAN.

–And you would be wrong.  According to “In Touch” magazine, she considered it, but ultimately decided against it.

–A source says, quote, “It opens her up to too much scrutiny.  She’s been freaking out about her body.  During a recent fashion shoot she burst into tears, saying she looked gross.”

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“The Price Is Right” Tried to Give Away a $285,000 Ferrari

This week is “Big Money Week” on “The Price Is Right”, and yesterday, someone had a chance to win a 2013 Ferrari 458 Spyder.  That’s a $285,716 car!

–Yesterday’s contestant, Therese, had to win the “Three Strikes” game to take home the Ferrari, but she didn’t come close.

–The speculation is that maybe she was trying NOT to win it.  With the taxes and insurance costs, she might not have been able to AFFORD winning the car.

–It’s the most expensive prize in the history of the show . . . although it won’t be for long.  The show is finishing up the week today with a Plinko game worth $500,000.

The “Duck Dynasty” Season Finale Attracted Nearly 10 Million Viewers Wednesday Night 

As you probably know by now, A&E’s “Duck Dynasty” has become a major hit.  Wednesday’s third season finale attracted 9.6 million viewers, which was enough to make it the show’s most-watched episode.

–That’s not only a HUGE number for cable, it’s a big audience for any TV show.  To put it in context, Wednesday’s “American Idol” averaged ONLY three million more viewers.  Although admittedly, “Idol” isn’t what it once was.

–Not surprisingly, “Duck Dynasty” has been cleared for a fourth season, which SHOULD start filming.

The NFL, the NBA, and Major League Baseball All Have Very Specific Contingency Plans If an Entire Team Dies in a Plane Crash

If you’re morbid, you might’ve wondered what would happen if a pro sports team was on a flight to a game . . . it CRASHED . . . and everyone on board DIED.  Believe it or not, every pro sports league has a contingency plan for that.

–Major League Baseball:  If at least five active members of a major league baseball team die, the team can draft players off other teams.

–The NFL:  If a team loses less than 15 players, they don’t get to draft . . . unless the quarterback is one of them.  Then they get to poach two backup quarterbacks off other teams . . . but those QBs go BACK to their original teams after the season.

–The NBA:  If five or more players die, the team will get to draft off other teams.  Each team can only protect five players . . . so some pretty good players would be available.

A Papa John’s Delivery Guy Gets Carjacked . . . and Keeps Delivering Pizza On Foot

Earlier this month, a Papa John’s Pizza driver in Atlanta was out on a delivery when two guys CARJACKED him at gunpoint.

–The driver got out of the car, took the pizza with him . . . and kept going ON FOOT so he could still make the delivery.

–After the customers got the pizza, he called the cops.  The police are still looking for the carjackers.

A Man Tries to Jump Off the 86th Floor of the Empire State Building . . . But Lands on a Ledge One Story Down

Around 11:45 P.M. on Wednesday, an unidentified man JUMPED OFF the observation deck of the Empire State Building in New York City.  That’s on the 86th floor, and it’s about 1,200 feet up.

–The man plummeted and fell . . . exactly ONE story.  He landed on a narrow ledge that juts out from the 85th floor.

–Security guards talked him off the ledge.  He was taken to the hospital with JUST a broken ankle and a cut on his hand, which is WAY better than splattering down after a 1,200-foot fall.

–The police don’t know why the man, but the jumper is facing a trespassing charge.

–Click here to see some pictures that a tourist took of the guy on the 85th floor ledge, and one of him being taken away on a stretcher.

The Latest Words Being Eliminated By Political Correctness Include Freshman, Fisherman, and Penmanship

It’s a dark time for words that contain the word “man.”  It’s like the politically correct Terminator has targeted them or something.

–Washington state just enacted a law to rewrite ALL their laws, to replace all masculine words with gender-neutral words.

–That includes using the word “fisher” instead of “fisherman” . . . “first-year student” instead of “freshman” . . . and “handwriting” instead of “penmanship.”

–They even wanted to get rid of the word “manhole” . . . but couldn’t figure out a good gender-neutral substitute.  I guess “peoplehole” just doesn’t have the same ring to it?

The Two Women the Cops Shot at After Mistaking Them For Christopher Dorner Are Getting $4.2 Million

Remember during the Christopher Dorner manhunt when the LAPD accidentally mistook a 47-year-old Hispanic woman and her 71-year-old mother for a tall, bald, black guy . . . and SHOT THEM?

– On February 7th, Margie Carranza and 71-year-old Emma Hernandez were driving around in a Toyota Tacoma, delivering newspapers.  Even though the cops were looking for a MAN in a Nissan Titan, they surrounded the women’s car and FIRED on them . . . 102 times.

–Emma, the mother, took TWO BULLETS to the back.  Margie was hurt by the broken glass.  The women just got their settlement.  They’ve accepted $4.2 MILLION from the city of Los Angeles!!!

Here Are Photos of One of the Guys Deported From Saudi Arabia For Being Too Handsome

Earlier this month, there was a story flying around online about how Saudi Arabia had DEPORTED three men who were visiting from the United Arab Emirates . . . because the men were TOO HANDSOME.  Apparently, the Islamic police were worried that if the men stuck around, women, quote, “could fall for them.”

–Well . . . photos of one of the men just surfaced.  His name is Omar Borkan Al Gala, and he’s a photographer-slash-actor-slash-poet.  In other words, everything about this guy really DOES make you want to dislike him.

–And, yes, he’s a handsome dude.  Handsome enough to be deported?  That I can’t say.

–Click here to check out some photos of Omar.