Mike and Mandy In The Morning!

SEAN PENN AND ROBIN WRIGHT ARE SPLITTING UP AGAIN:
SEAN PENN and his wife, ROBIN WRIGHT, tried to make things work…but apparently, they failed.  Sean has filed for LEGAL SEPARATION.  As you may recall, Robin filed for divorce back in December of 2007…but the following April, she had her divorce petition dismissed, and they got back together.  In his court papers, Penn is seeking joint custody of their two kids.  (–Sean and Robin have an 18-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son.  I don’t know how “custody” works for an 18-year-old child.) Things started to look a little fishy at the Oscars back in February, when Sean won the Best Actor Oscar for “Milk”.  During his acceptance speech, Sean thanked just about everybody in Hollywood except for Robin…even though she was sitting right there.

SARAH PALIN. . . .MOTORCYCLE MAMA!!
SARAH PALIN will be featured on tonight’s episode of “American Chopper” on The Learning Channel.  (–If you can’t miss this, it starts at 9:00 P.M.) The crew from Orange County Choppers head up to Palin country to plan the creation of a new custom bike to honor the 50th anniversary of Alaska’s statehood.

MILEY CYRUS AND DAVID ARCHULETA HAVE RECORDED A DUET:
(Reigning “American Idol” runner-up) DAVID ARCHULETA will be guest-starring on this Sunday’s episode of “Hannah Montana”.  We’d heard that David was going to be popping up on the show…but we didn’t know that his appearance would include a DUET between David and MILEY CYRUS.  On the show, David (playing himself) and Miley record a song together.  It’s called “I Wanna Know You”…and yeah, it WILL be released for real.  If you can’t wait until Sunday’s episode…(–and really, who can?)…the song will be premiering on RadioDisney.com on Saturday at 6:00 P.M. Eastern.

THERE WAS A SWINE FLU SCARE ON A PLANE FROM CANCUN TO BALTIMORE…BUT IT TURNS OUT THE GUYS WERE JUST DRUNK:
I’m not saying I think this whole swine flu thing has been blown out of proportion.  But if YOU feel like it has…here’s more fuel for your fire…On Monday, 115 passengers on an AirTran flight from Cancun to Baltimore were quarantined for 40 minutes after their plane landed…when two unidentified passengers got sick mid-flight.  The flight crew feared that the passengers had become infected with SWINE FLU while vacationing in Mexico…and that everyone on the plane had been exposed to the virus. But after an examination, health officials determined the passengers’ flu-like symptoms…nausea and fever…were NOT the result of swine flu.  It turns out the two passengers had partied a little too hard while on vacation…and they were just HUNG OVER.

AN AUTISTIC BOY STOLE HIS DAD’S CAR, DROVE TO THE AIRPORT, AND FLEW ACROSS THE COUNTRY…BECAUSE HE LOVES PLANES:
13-year-old Kenton Weaver of Boca Raton, Florida, has a form of AUTISM called Asperger’s Syndrome…and he’s completely obsessed with AIRPLANES.  In fact, Kenton’s so fascinated with planes that on Tuesday, he stole his dad’s car, drove to the airport, and used his dad’s credit card number to buy a ticket from Southwest Airlines.  Then Kenton boarded a plane and flew across the country to San Jose, California…ALL BY HIMSELF.  But wait, there’s more:  Since he’s only 13, Kenton doesn’t have a passport, a driver’s license or any other form of photo ID. That begs the question:  How was a 13-year-old Autistic boy with no identification able to slip past airport security…in order to board a cross-country flight?  And more importantly:  What does it say about the state of our airport security, in general?

HARVARD HOSTED A SEMINAR LAST WEEK TO HELP SOON-TO-BE GRADUATES COPE WITH…REJECTION:
What’s the latest sign that the global economy is crumbling before our eyes?  Last week, Harvard University’s Office of Career Services held a special seminar which focused on helping soon-to-be graduates…cope with JOB REJECTION.  That’s right.  The economy is SO BAD right now…that even Harvard graduates can’t land a job.  (Are Harvard students SO USED to getting what they want, that they have to hold a special seminar just to teach self-important kids how to cope with the kind of rejection that the average person deals with EVERY DAY?  Eventually the economy is going to recover.  And when it does, Ivy Leaguers are going to go right back to getting what they want…because that’s just how it works.  So feel free to have a good belly-laugh at their expense NOW…while you still can.)

UGLY BUS

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced.

They’re all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. ‘I want to be gorgeous,’ and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says ‘I want to be gorgeous too!’

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says: ‘Make ‘em all ugly again.’

I don’t know about you, but I’m the sort of person who sees the glass as half-full. That’s exactly why…even though we may be on the brink of a swine flu pandemic…I can appreciate these people in Mexico City, Mexico, who’ve been decorating their swine flu face masks…and wearing them as fashion accessories.

GUY HAD A GRIZZLY BEAR SERVE AS THE BEST MAN AT HIS WEDDING
Seven years ago, a guy named Casey Anderson from Bozeman, Montana, rescued a grizzly bear cub named Brutus from a wildlife preserve.  The park was overpopulated, and Brutus would probably have spent his life in captivity, or been euthanized.  So Casey built his OWN wildlife sanctuary, raised Brutus from a cub, and now SHARES HIS HOME with an 800-POUND Grizzly.  And how’s THIS for a Freak File:  Last summer, when Casey married an actress named Missi Pyle (who was in “Dodgeball”)…Brutus was Casey’s BEST MAN.  (Check out some unbelievable photos of Casey, Missi and Brutus here . . .)

A CHIHUAHUA WAS SWEPT UP BY 70-MILE-PER-HOUR WINDS
Last Saturday, 72-year-old Dorothy Utley and her husband, Lavern, of Rochester, Michigan, were at a flea market with their Chihuahua, Tinker Bell…when a storm suddenly blew in.  The winds reached speeds of up to 70 miles per hour, and listen to this….Tinker Bell…who weighs only six pounds…was swept up by the wind and BLOWN AWAY.  After the storm died down, the Utleys and several dozen volunteers started searching for Tinker Bell.  Unfortunately, she was nowhere to be found.  But listen to this…After they were unable to find Tinker Bell on their own, the Utleys hired a PSYCHIC to help with the search mission. And listen to this….On Monday…while searching an area the psychic had told them to focus on…the Utleys found Tinker Bell nearly a MILE from the flea market.  (Check out some photos of them with Tinker Bell here:)

THERE’S A MARRIED COUPLE IN ILLINOIS…WHO ARE *BOTH* MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTERS:
Ordinarily, if you punch your wife…you’re going to be spending some time in jail. But Adame Dunnavant of Granite City, Illinois, punches his wife, Lori, all the time…and she’s totally cool with it.  Why?  Because Adame and Lori are BOTH mixed martial arts fighters.  And they’re not just married to one another…they’re sparring partners too.  According to Adame and Lori’s trainer…a guy named Steve Knogl…quote: “They push each other extremely hard almost to the point where you think that maybe they’re going to get into it with each other a little bit, but it never happens.”  So far, Adame and Lori have a total of NINE wins between them…and they’ve even won a championship belt.  Check out some photos of Adame and Lori here:

MEL GIBSON WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND:
MEL GIBSON showed up last night at the Los Angeles premiere of “X-Men Origins:  Wolverine” WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND, Oksana Grigorieva…the Russian chick who used to date, and has a child with, actor TIMOTHY DALTON. (We have a picture of them hand-in-hand at the premiere:)

There are a few new rumors bouncing around the World Wide Web of Misinformation.  First off, some people are saying that Mel and Oksana have been together for up to THREE YEARS.  And there’s also word that Oksana is PREGNANT with Mel’s baby…and that’s what finally prompted his wife ROBYN to file for divorce.

SOFTWARE “GLITCH” REVEALED THE MOST POPULAR “AMERICAN IDOL” CONTESTANTS ON ITUNES:
Ever since “American Idol” performances have been available on iTunes…”Idol” producers have insisted that Apple keep the sales numbers SECRET, so that no one knows which contestants are drawing the most downloads.  (The thinking here is that knowing how many downloads each contestant is getting could influence the vote.  For instance, if your favorite contestant is in last place by a mile, you might figure that he or she doesn’t have a chance, and stop voting.) But last week, an error in the Apple software BRIEFLY allowed fans to see the Top 10 “American Idol” downloads on iTunes.  The “glitch” has since been fixed.  But according to the “New York Post”, ADAM LAMBERT was the top dog.  He had SIX of the top 10 “Idol” spots…including the #1 download, which was his performance of the TEARS FOR FEARS song, “Mad World”.

NO!  MADONNA DIDN’T GET THE SWINE FLU!
If you get an e-mail with the subject line, “Madonna caught swine flu!”, or “Salma Hayek caught swine flu!”…DON’T OPEN IT.  It’s probably spyware that will allow a hacker to get into your computer and steal your personal information.  Pretty much ANYTHING relating to swine flu that’s not sent from a reliable source could be dangerous.  Hackers use current events like swine flu to make you think you just HAVE TO open their evil e-mails.

Elderly Lady Friends

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.  Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.   Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one lady looked at the other and said “Now don’t get mad at me…….I know we’ve been friends for a long time………but I just can’t think of your name.   I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it.   Please tell me what your name is”.

Her friend glared at her.   For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.   Finally, she said…

“How soon do you need to know??”

AND NOW…A PICTURE OF A HORSE WITH A MUSTACHE:
If you like mustaches then you’re going to love this picture of a horse with a mustache!!!!!! What’s that you say?  You’ve never seen a horse with a mustache?  My friends…you are in for a treat.  –If you don’t have access to a computer right now, picture a horse with a blonde colored Brillo pad growing out of his nose!!! (Take a look at a horse with a mustache here . . .)

PREGNANT LADY WAS BEING CHASED BY A BEAR…WHEN SHE WAS HIT BY A CAR:
If you were forced to choose, would you rather be MAULED BY A BEAR…or HIT BY A CAR?  The reason I ask is because yesterday, 26-year-old Ashley Swendson of Colorado Springs, Colorado, was hiking down a trail…when she came across a 230-pound BLACK BEAR in the woods.  Ashley…who’s FIVE-MONTHS PREGNANT…tried to run away, but the bear chased after her.  And the bear was only about ten feet behind Ashley when she scrambled up an embankment onto a road…and was HIT BY A CAR.    Ashley was rushed to the hospital where she was treated for minor injuries.  And get this…According to her doctors, both Ashley and her unborn baby are going to be fine.  (So you know, the driver who hit Ashley stopped to make sure she was OK…but took off before the cops showed up.  Members of Colorado’s Division of Wildlife were able to tranquilize, capture, and “destroy” the bear that attacked her.  Crazy.)

TERROR SCARE IN NEW YORK CITY YESTERDAY
Yesterday, several buildings in New York were evacuated after a low-flying plane…trailed by two F-16 fighter jets…was spotted circling the Statue of Liberty and flying over Manhattan.  Fortunately, the low-flying airplane wasn’t part of a terrorist attack.  Nope.  It was part of a government-sanctioned PHOTO SHOOT…for Air Force One.  Apparently, officials in the White House Military Office decided they needed to update their file photos of Air Force One…and they determined that the BEST way to get a few good shots was to fly over the Manhattan skyline.  But, for some reason, they didn’t feel the need to let the public know they were going to be doing it, and…understandably…a lot of people started to fear the worst:  That the plane was going to be used in a terrorist attack.  New York’s mayor, MICHAEL BLOOMBERG, says, quote: “First thing is I’m annoyed…furious is a better word…that I wasn’t told.  Why the Defense Department wanted to do a photo op right around the site of the World Trade Center catastrophe defies the imagination.  Poor judgment would be a nice way to phrase it.” (So you know, the White House claims PRESIDENT OBAMA didn’t know about the photo shoot ahead of time…which I suppose is believable enough…and that he was angry when he found out about it.  Still, what a boneheaded thing to do. Check out some pictures of Air Force One’s photo shoot here:)

JAY LENO TURNS HIS HOSPITALIZATION INTO…HILARITY:
JAY LENO returned to “The Tonight Show” last night.  And he turned his hospitalization last week into HILARITY.  He said, quote, “What happened was…and I think this was a mistake…I ate a raw pig a friend brought back from Mexico.”  Then he joked about how bad his HMO is, and he even worked CONAN O’BRIEN and the whole “Tonight Show” hosting situation into it. (What Leno didn’t do was explain WHY he was hospitalized.  The best guess we have…still…is dehydration, possibly caused by food poisoning.  To view his monologue, click here.)

THE SWINE FLU TAKES DOWN THE WOLVERINE???
The Mexico City premiere of the new “Wolverine” movie has been postponed due to…SWINE FLU.  Seriously.  It was supposed to premiere there tomorrow, but the studio is putting it off until further notice.  HUGH JACKMAN was the only cast member who was actually expected to attend.

GET READY FOR “ROCK WEEK” ON AMERICAN IDOL. . .
SLASH may be coming to “American Idol”.  Over the weekend, he Tweeted, quote, “‘American Idol’ has asked me to do the mentor bit for Rock Week.”  (This week is “Rat Pack Standards”…so “Rock Week” will probably be next week.)  (If Slash IS onboard…maybe he’ll take advantage of the opportunity, and have the contestants audition to be the next lead singer of VELVET REVOLVER.)

EXECUTIVE HELP

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found his boss standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

“Listen, this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?”

“Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.

“Excellent, excellent!” said his boss, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need one copy…”

A 9-YEAR-OLD GIRL SAVED HER DAD’S LIFE
Now it’s time to recognize our Hero of the Day…9-year-old Gabbie Glick of Westminster, Maryland.  Last July, Gabbie’s dad, Larry, learned he had a rare form of leukemia and that if he didn’t get a bone marrow transplant soon…he was going to DIE. Unfortunately, out of seven million possible donors…not a single one was a match for Larry.  But Gabbie…who shares half her DNA with Larry…was.  So, in order to save her dad’s life, Gabbie stepped up and became the youngest person EVER to donate bone marrow…in the history of Johns Hopkins Medical Center.  Gabbie has made a full recovery from the surgery.  And, according to his doctors, Larry is making good progress on his recovery as well.

AN 84-YEAR-OLD MAN FOUGHT OFF TWO CARJACKERS
Last Wednesday, 84-year-old Ted Mazetier of Fircrest, Washington, was out driving when he saw two guys standing next to a car on the side of the road.  Figuring their car had broken down, Ted pulled over to see if the two guys needed help.  But when Ted rolled down his window, one of the men…27-year-old William Dillard…punched Ted in the face and tried to steal his car.  But listen to this . . .According to Ted, quote, “When I opened the door, [William] started toward me and I KICKED HIM IN THE….. . (CROTCH!)”  [sort of]  That’s right.  Ted thwarted a carjacking…by kicking his attacker in the….. CROTCH!  William and the other man…his unidentified cousin…took off running.  Fortunately, police officers caught up with them a little later and arrested them.   Other than a black eye, Ted is doing OK.

GUY WAS FIRED AND HAD HIS HOUSE BURN DOWN IN THE SPAN OF 2 HOURS:
Well, it’s Monday morning…and I can see how you might be upset about that.  But if you think you’re having a bad day…check out this Oregonian….On Friday morning, Victor Gonzalez of Oregon City, Oregon, got up and started a fire in his wood stove.  But shortly after starting the fire, Victor was unexpectedly called in to work.  So Victor got ready…and headed out the door.  Unfortunately, the reason Victor’s bosses called him in wasn’t so he could WORK that day.  It was so they could tell him he was FIRED.  Then when Victor returned home, he found his house…WAS ON FIRE.  As of last night, investigators still weren’t sure how the fire started.  But they think embers from the stove’s chimney might be responsible.  (See, now don’t you feel so much better about your life now?  I thought so.  You’re welcome.)

BEA ARTHUR HAS DIED:
We’re down two “Golden Girls”…following the death of TV LEGEND BEA ARTHUR.  Bea died Saturday, at the age of 86.  A spokesman said she had been battling cancer, but didn’t give any further details.  Bea played Dorothy on “The Golden Girls” from 1985 to 1992.  But her first big break came in the 1970s, when a guest appearance on “All in the Family” as Edith Bunker’s outspoken, liberal cousin, Maude Findlay, led to her own series.  That series, “Maude”, ran from 1972 to 1978.  The show was every bit as controversial as “All in the Family”…and included an episode in which Maude became the first regular TV character to have an ABORTION.  Bea was married and divorced twice, and had two adopted sons…who are both now in their 40s.  The fourth “Golden Girl”, ESTELLE GETTY, died last July at the age of 84.

JAY LENO IS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL:
JAY LENO was released from the hospital Friday, and will be back to work tonight.  Obviously, that means there’ll be a new “Tonight Show” this evening.  Jay’s publicist still wouldn’t get into specifics about what kept Jay in the hospital overnight last week…but he said, quote, “It was symptomatic of nothing serious.  I think it was dehydration.”

MADONNA IS HOLLYWOOD’S HARDEST-WORKING MOM:
Forbes.com has put together a list of Hollywood’s 15 Hardest-Working Moms.  MADONNA tops the list, with $110 million in earnings and 1 million albums sold in 2008.  REESE WITHERSPOON,  $20 million;  GWYNETH PALTROW,  $20 million;  JULIA ROBERTS,  $17 million;  and SARAH JESSICA PARKER,  $15 million round out the top-5.  Other honorable mentions include Heidi Klum, Fatih Hill, and Kelly Ripa.

You Know It’s Time to Diet When..

You dance and it makes the band skip.

You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.

Your driver’s license says, “Picture continued on other side.”

You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture.

Your blood type is Ragu.

ANGELINA JOLIE WANTS TO ADOPT ANOTHER KID
The not-always-reliable “National Enquirer” says that ANGELINA JOLIE is planning to adopt another kid.  But this time, she’s leaving BRAD PITT out of it.  Because she plans to raise this one with…HER BROTHER.  Supposedly, Brad has banned Angelina from getting pregnant or adopting any more kids for a YEAR.  And this is her way around that.  A so-called “source” says, quote, “This has really infuriated Brad.  Anyone would feel betrayed by the woman he loves going behind his back.  If this isn’t resolved soon, friends fear it could spell the end.”  Meanwhile, “In Touch Weekly” claims that Brad has already moved out…but they don’t say why.

IS BRITNEY BALD AGAIN????
BRITNEY SPEARS lost a chunk of hair during a stunt at her concert in Oakland on Wednesday night.  Fortunately, it was just EXTENSIONS…not her real hair.  (Here’s a video…It happens as the guy is lifting her off the sled:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyW8l_HYIrc) BTW, “FHM” has dropped its annual list of the 100 Sexiest Women in the World.  And BRITNEY SPEARS made a big comeback…going from #31 last year to #4 this year.  This year’s #1 is a girl you’ve probably never even heard of.  Her name is CHERYL COLE, and she’s a member of the British girl group GIRLS ALOUD.

JAY LENO SPENT LAST NIGHT IN THE HOSPITAL…BUT HE’S OKAY:
JAY LENO spent last night in a Burbank hospital…but his people say it’s nothing serious.  Jay was taken to Providence Saint Joseph’s Medical Center yesterday, after he complained that he wasn’t feeling well.  As a result, a “Tonight Show” rerun aired last night…and another one will air tonight.  He’s expected to be back to work on Monday. There’s no word yet what happened, but Jay’s rep said, quote, “Jay Leno is doing just fine.  He was kidding around with the hospital staff and running his monologue jokes by the doctors and the nurses.”  Jay turns 59 on Tuesday.

THERE WAS ALMOST A RIOT IN MINNESOTA OVER…FRIED CHICKEN???
Earlier this week, Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits started a national ad campaign promoting a special, one-day deal…offering EIGHT pieces of chicken for only $4.99…in honor of Earth Day (–which was Wednesday). But for some reason, the Popeye’s in Minneapolis, Minnesota…which is the ONLY Popeye’s in the state…decided NOT to take part in the national promotion.  Instead, they came up with their OWN promotion…offering NINE pieces of chicken for $9.99.  And get this:  When customers found out that the Minneapolis Popeye’s wasn’t taking part in the national promotion…they FREAKED OUT.   In fact, things got SO UGLY that six police officers were sent out to settle down the crowd at Popeye’s…which was lined up out the door.

A QUADRUPLE AMPUTEE IS GOING TO MAKE HIS DEBUT TOMORROW NIGHT…IN MIXED MARTIAL ARTS:
Two years ago, 23-year-old Kyle Maynard of Suwanee, Georgia, was all set to make his amateur debut as a mixed martial arts fighter.  But before he even got in the cage…Georgia state officials ruled that Kyle was ineligible to fight.  Why?  Because Kyle was born with a condition called congenital amputation…which left him with NO ARMS OR LEGS below his elbows and knees.  In other words, Kyle’s a QUADRUPLE AMPUTEE.   Officials for the Georgia Athletic and Entertainment Commission say they denied Kyle’s license to fight…for HIS OWN SAFETY. Apparently, officials in Alabama aren’t so concerned, because they’ve given Kyle the go-ahead to fight in an amateur mixed martial arts event tomorrow…called the Auburn Fight Night at Auburn University. According to the referee scheduled to work Kyle’s fight, quote, “I think Kyle’s going to win.  If the opponent tries to engage him, Kyle is strong enough to take him down.  (Check out some photos of Kyle here:)

IT WAS A ROUGH WEEK FOR ANIMALS…AT SPORTING EVENTS:
Before every Atlanta Hawks home game, the team mascot…a real-life hawk named Spirit…is allowed to fly around the arena.  But on Wednesday…after the pre-game festivities leading up to the Hawks’ playoff game against the Miami Heat…Spirit refused to return to his trainer.  And when the game tipped off, Spirit was still flying around the rafters.  Then, about three-and-a-half minutes into the game, Spirit landed on top of one of the baskets, and when the players noticed him…they demanded the game be stopped until Spirit was captured.   (Check out a picture of Spirit here:)

BIRTHDAY GIFT

A middle aged woman was about to have a birthday.

She hinted to her husband as to what she would like for her birthday.  She told him she would like to have something shiny that would go from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.

So, he got her a scale.

TWO GUYS EXCHANGED 217,000 TEXT MESSAGES…IN JUST ONE MONTH
A few months ago, 29-year-old Nick Andes of Marietta, Pennsylvania, and his buddy…30-year-old Doug Klinger…decided they were going to set a new world record for the most TEXT MESSAGES sent in a month.  So they set their sights on the old record of 182,000…set in 2005 by a guy in India named Deepak Sharma…and got to work.  Nick and Doug exchanged text messages almost nonstop from March 7th to April 6th, and by the time they were finished…these had exchanged a grand total of 217,000 texts.  That works out to 7,000 text messages PER DAY…or nearly FIVE texts PER MINUTE. And get this…when Nick got his itemized phone bill from T-Mobile, it was several inches thick…and it cost the company $27.55 just to ship it through the mail. Originally, T-Mobile tried to bill Nick $26,000 for all the texts he sent.  But they’ve now cleared those charges from his bill…since his calling plan included UNLIMITED text messaging!!!

A GUY ATE NOTHING BUT MCDONALD’S FOR 30 DAYS…AND *LOST* 15 POUNDS
Have you ever seen the 2004 documentary “Supersize Me”?  It’s the one where that guy ate nothing but McDonald’s for an entire month…got really sick…and gained 24 pounds?  Well, recently, 40-year-old Doug Logeais of San Diego, California, tried out a similar diet…but got remarkably different results.  According to Doug, he ate nothing but McDonald’s for breakfast, lunch and dinner for 30 days straight…and somehow LOST 15 pounds.  I know…you’re not buying it.  But just listen to what Doug ate:  #1.)  For breakfast, Doug had a breakfast burrito with sausage and egg.  #2.)  For lunch, he’d have either a grilled chicken snack wrap or a side salad.  #3.)  And for dinner, Doug would always eat one of McDonald’s larger salads.  Doug NEVER ate French fries, plus he exercised several days a week.  Doug says, quote, “I thought if I could actually eat at McDonald’s and lose weight, I’d incorporate the best of both worlds.  I’m eating at my favorite place and I’m losing weight.  So that’s where this whole project started.”  (Check out some “Before and After” pictures of Doug here . . .)

THE GUY WHO SHOT AT “DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER” WAS CAUGHT
The guy who shot at DUANE “DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER” CHAPMAN Tuesday night was apprehended.  Hoang fired at least one shot from a handgun and then took off on a motorcycle as Dog and another bail bondsman tried to apprehend him on some outstanding warrants at an apartment complex in Colorado Springs. Dog and the other bounty hunter…a guy named Bobby Brown…actually returned fire…but not with real guns.  According to Dog’s website, he was armed with a pepper-ball gun.  Dog tracked Nguyen down at around 1:30 A.M. yesterday and hauled him in without further incident.  Now, here’s where things start getting interesting…Local police Lieutenant David Whitlock says that police have been unable to find any evidence that Dog and Brown were shot at…like shell casings or bullet holes.  And they didn’t find the gun Nguyen supposedly used to fire those shots.  The camera crew from Dog’s show was on hand, but they (conveniently) somehow managed to NOT get the gunplay on film.

IS BRITNEY SPEARS PREGNANT????
There’s talk circulating that BRITNEY SPEARS is pregnant again.  No word who the dad is.  Obviously, we’ll keep you posted.  Speaking of Britney’s possible baby-daddies…”In Touch Weekly” claims that KEVIN FEDERLINE received an offer to be a spokesman for NutriSystem’s Men’s Plan.  A source says, quote, “Kevin wants to lose weight, and he needs to make money.  He’s seriously thinking it over.”

CONDOLEEZZA RICE AND RANDY JACKSON ARE BUDDIES:
This is pretty random:  When former Secretary of State CONDOLEEZZA RICE was in L.A. a few weeks ago…she decided to meet up with (“American Idol” judge) RANDY JACKSON.  Why?  So they could talk music…I guess.  Condoleezza’s spokesperson tells “Us” magazine, quote, “She’s a longtime admirer of Randy and enjoyed the opportunity to meet him in person and talk about their common passion for music.” A so-called “source” says that when Randy heard she wanted to meet him, he was quote, “sort of mystified…but he went.”  (Condoleezza is actually an accomplished pianist.)

LITTLE JOHNNY’S FINGERS

The teacher asks: Now, Lil Johnny, how may fingers have you?

Lil Johnny: Ten.

Teacher: Right. Now if you lost four of them, what would you have?

Lil Johnny: No more piano lessons.