I can remember so many Christmases growing up when I would say, “This was the best Christmas EVER!” But, every previous Christmas now pales in comparison to THIS Christmas. I mean, I knew having a child would make Christmas more exciting, but….wow. Just WOW!
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On Christmas Eve, we made Gingerbread cookies (for Santa….and some friends). We made these bad boys from scratch, and ALLIE even helped us out!
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DEPARTMENT STORE SLEEPOVER!
Sleeping over in a department store? One-hundred stranded customers, staff and children in England spent the night in the bed department of a John Lewis department store Monday, after heavy snow made local roads treacherous. The managing director of the store, Deborah Strazza, didn’t want to send her customers out into the dangerous weather. So she and her staff provided them with food and made up the store’s beds. “The kids absolutely loved it,” she said. “They thought they were in Toy Story.” Only problem is, they’ll have a hard time selling those beds now!
STUPID CRIMINALS!!
Cops in Cardiff, Wales, didn’t have much trouble tracking down a group of bank robbers recently. That’s because 27-year-old JAMES SNELL used a car with personalized plates. Witnesses saw Snell driving a Beemer with plates spelling “James”. They say he used the car to steal a couple of storm drain covers. The same drain covers were later found at the scene of an A-T-M robbery. Snell, his brother WAYNE, and two other guys apparently used a baseball bat to threaten security guards who were refilling the ATM. Then, they used the storm drain covers to smash their way into the machine. Police say they made off with nearly 200-thousand-dollars. All four men have since been found guilty. (STUPID CRIMINALS!)
A WOMAN WAS IN BED, DEAD, FOR 8 MONTHS… AND HER DAILY CARETAKERS HAD NO IDEA?
An elderly woman in Wilmington, NC was in her bed for eight months… dead. It turns out that caretakers came to the woman’s house every day and kept it tidy, but didn’t know the old gal was pushing up daisies. Finally, someone realized she was dead and called 911. They said she was unconscious and not breathing. The cops said she’s been dead since May. Here’s the weird part: besides the caretakers going in and out of the house on a daily basis, at least four other people also lived in the house. The cops are investigating.
YET ANOTHER TIGER JOKE
What do Tiger woods and the Beatles have in common?
They both experienced a “hit” with Norwegian Wood
PRIEST SAYS THOU SHALL STEAL!
A priest in England is under fire for advising the poor members of his congregation to steal. During his sermon on Sunday, Father Tim Jones, 41, said that sometimes shoplifting from large chain stores is the best option for people desperate during the recession. He said shoplifting was a better alternative to “prostitution, mugging or burglary.” He also insisted that his advice did not go against the Bible’s commandment because God’s love for the poor outweighs his love for the rich. One thing’s for sure, police certainly weren’t loving the fact that Father Jones gave permission for people to commit crimes.
THE GRINCH THAT STOLE CHRISTMAS. . . IN REAL LIFE!
Thieves stole all the presents under the Christmas tree at the Pine Hills Daycare. They even took the Christmas tree and all the food from the fridge. T hat includes the turkey for the daycare’s annual Christmas dinner. Then the crooks poured milk all over the floor on their way out. Workers at the daycare say the children are all low-income and these gifts were the only ones some of them would have been given this year. Cops say it will be hard to pinpoint who did it because the daycare center doesn’t have surveillance video. To make matters worse, their insurance company is refusing to cover the loss.
THIEF FEELS BAD AFTER STEALING $4,000 EARRINGS, RETURNS THEM
A thief felt so bad about stealing a pair of $4,000 earrings from a jewelry store in Phoenix …she returned them. The woman came into the store and stole the earrings. But two days later, the woman came back and gave the earrings back and apologized. She said she had been physically ill since she stole them and she’s married with a small child and this would devastate her family. The owner of the store said she’s not pressing charges because everyone deserves a second chance.
CARRIE UNDERWOOD ENGAGED TO HOCKEY PLAYER!
American Idol champ, and country superstar, Carrie Underwood has gotten engaged to her hockey player boyfriend Mike Fisher. Fisher, who plays for the Ottawa Senators, confirmed the news to the Ottawa Sun yesterday morning during practice. “It’s true,” said Fisher. ”We’re both obviously excited and very happy.” I’m happy to confirm that Carrie Underwood is engaged to Mike Fisher, and the couple couldn’t be happier,” her rep tells People. ”No wedding date has been set at this time.” The couple has been dating for about a year.
RUMORS ARE FLYING ABOUT THE CAUSE 0F BRITNEY MURPHY’S DEATH
The police investigation into the death of BRITTANY MURPHY at age 32 is now underway but gossip sites have been in overdrive about the cause since the news broke Sunday. Authorities so far don’t believe there was any foul play but: TheWrap.com claims that those around her saw visible signs that “Murphy was on a dangerous behavioral spiral.” She was fired from a horror film a mere two weeks ago and reportedly went “in and out of consciousness in the middle of takes” while filming another movie. Murphy had previously talked about having a heart condition. An autopsy was performed yesterday; results are expected in a couple of weeks, since a toxicology test for drugs and alcohol was also being conducted.
TIGER WOODS SAILS AWAY?!
Tiger Woods is getting a little distance from his cheating scandal. People reports that on Saturday the golfer and a group of buddies left Florida on Tiger’s luxury yacht, which ironically is named Privacy. After being docked in North Palm Beach for a week, a source claims workers were seen stocking the yacht Saturday morning and then it “left town.” We got a pic of Tiger’s yacht…
SPORTS FANS
An AUBURN and a TENNESSEE fan were standing in line at the grocery store.
The TENNESSEE fan looks at the AUBURN fan and asks, “What does that A-U-B-U-R-N on your shirt stand for?”
The AUBURN fan laughs and says “Alabama Usually Beats Us Round November”.
They pause for a second and the AUBURN fan asks, “What does that U-T on your hat stand for”
The TENNESSEE fan chuckles and says “Us Too”.
…Brittany Murphy died at the age of 32. Rumors are that she had a heart attack.
…According to “Forbes,” Memphis is the 37th most expensive city to live in. Nashville came in 38th!
…Jon and Kate Gosselin are finally divorced!! Can we move on with our lives now?
Tomorrow on the show…don’t retire…it’ll just kill you!! Details at 8:40 with Mike and Mandy!
BRITTANY MURPHY DIES
TMZ broke news yesterday that actress Brittany Murphy died early Sunday morning after going into full cardiac arrest. She was 32.
–Cops responded to 911 call at the Los Angeles home belonging to Brittany’s husband Simon Monjack. The site quotes a source who says Brittany’s mother found her unconscious in the shower and called paramedics.
–The actress, who starred in such films as Clueless, 8 Mile and Don’t Say A Word, was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and was pronounced dead on arrival. —–Ashton Kutcher, who dated Murphy and co-starred with her in the comedy Just Married, sent his condolences via Twitter.
TIGER TO SEX REHAB!
ABC and NBC news are both reporting Tiger will check into Arizona’s The Meadows facility in the New Year for treatment of “sexual compulsion” as well as use of Vicodin and Ambien.
–In other Tiger news: The watch company Tag Heuer, which pulled Tiger from its ads in Australia last week, has now yanked him from ads in the United States.
–The UK press is reporting that when Elin finally files for divorce, she plans to ask for sole custody of the couple’s children, 2-year-old Sam and 10-month-old Charlie.
PAULA REGRETS QUITTING!
Paula Abdul is finally realizing she made a mistake by quitting American Idol. “Paula was full of optimism when she left Idol, ” a friend told Pop Eater. “She was confident she would get her own talk show and even a gig performing live on the Las Vegas strip — none of which has materialized. It’s going to get worse in January when Idol is everywhere with Ellen (DeGeneres) sitting in her seat.” And it sounds like Idol doesn’t even miss Paula. “(Ellen) is a breath of fresh air that is so easy to work with,” said an insider.
A NOT-SO-JOLLY HOLIDAY WITH MARY!
A woman in Wales becomes a Scrooge around the holidays, but that’s only because she has the unfortunate name Mary Christmas.
–The 43-year-old had no idea what she was in for when she married Paul Christmas 12 years ago. She can never book tables at restaurants, because the restaurant workers think they’re being pranked.
–It’s especially difficult around actual Christmastime. “Once I booked a table for 20 under my name but they thought it was a joke so, when we arrived, we couldn’t have dinner,” Mary said.
–Now, she always books under her maiden name – McCarthy. Hopefully Mary Christmas can have a Merry Christmas this year!
A FRONT LAWN DISPLAY OF JESUS SHOOTING SANTA???
This year’s Christmas controversy comes to you from near Pismo Beach, CA: A front lawn display of Jesus shooting Santa Claus.
–It’s a figure of Jesus packing a double barrel shotgun standing over the figure of a shot dead St Nick.
–Neighbors are outraged and want it taken down. It’s the work of artist, RON LAKE, who’s house-sitting where the decorations are on display. He put up the display last week and says it represents the commercialism of Christmas, but, as a work of art, he says it’s also open to interpretation.
–For added excitement, the display sits opposite a school bus stop. And in case you get any bright ideas, the display is surrounded by a chain link fence. It’s up during the day and Lake takes it down at night.
100-YEAR-PLD WOMAN WANTS TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS BY JUMPING OUT OF AN AIRPLANE!!
A 100-year-old woman in Brazil is celebrating the holidays in a unique way.
–AIDA MENDES will be jumping from a plane on Christmas Day. She wants to go down in the Guinness Book as the oldest woman ever to skydive.
–Aida says she’s been given the go-ahead from her doctors to make the jump. She added, “Because I did a lot of sports as a young woman, I can really say that I am a 100-year-old with the body of a 50-year-old.”
Tiger Woods Holiday Poem
T’was the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin’, chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
Cause another woman’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
He’d been cheatin’ on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin’ and pleadin’,
Tiger’s wife went investin’ — a new home in Sweden.
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
“If you’re gettin’ extra honey then I’m gettin’ your money!”
She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year!
We’ve been so busy lately that we almost missed our chance to take Allie to see Santa. Luckily, Bass Pro had their ‘visit to Santa’ again this year, so it was off to Bass Pro Shops we go! Getting Allie dressed was a lot easier this year….since she only had ONE Christmas dress…..
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IT’S GOOD TO TEACH PEOPLE THE ART OF KUNG FU, BUT FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TEACH A MONKEY MARTIAL ARTS!!!
You can train monkeys to do just about anything. But, it might not be so smart to teach them Kung Fu. LO WUNG of China trained several primates in the martial arts in order to entertain shoppers outside a mall. As part of their performance, the monkeys practice punches, kicks and other moves on each other. But, 32-year-old Wung learned his lesson after one of the monkeys decided to karate kick him in the head while his back was turned. When the other animals saw what happened, they all joined in. Wung ended up fighting them off with a stick. Until one quick-thinking monkey grabbed a stick of his own and cracked Wung over the head. One witness says, “They were leaping and jumping all over the place –it was better than a BRUCE LEE film.” Wung eventually got the animals under control by tying them up with a rope.
AND NOW, THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE KID IN THE WORLD!
Now it’s time to recognize the NAUGHTIEST little kid in the world . . . an unidentified 4-year-old boy from Middle Valley, Tennessee (–about 20 miles northeast of Chattanooga). On Monday, he woke up in the middle of the night. And from there . . . well . . . you’re really not going to believe what this kid did. Get this: #1.) He snuck out of his mom’s house. #2.) He broke into the home of a neighbor . . . a guy named Logan Pugh. #3.) And he opened all the presents underneath Logan’s Christmas tree. #4.) Eventually, the boy’s mother realized he was gone and called the police. When they showed up, they found him at the end of the street wearing a DRESS he’d stolen from Logan’s house, and DRINKING A BEER. He got in and out of the house without waking anybody up. They found him at the end of the street DRINKING A BEER, walking around like it was nothing. Child Services has removed the boy from his mother’s home. He’s now staying with relatives.
A BOY SCOUT FOUND A STOLEN PURSE CONTAINING $1,900 AND RETURNED IT TO ITS OWNER:
Let’s go from naughty to nice . . . an 11-year-old Boy Scout from Greensboro, North Carolina, named Edward Myers. On Saturday, Edward, his mother, Donna, and his two siblings were helping neighbors plant trees at a nearby park when he spotted a waterlogged purse on the bank of a creek. When Edward opened it up, he noticed a wallet containing nineteen $100 bills. If you failed math class, that adds up to $1,900. Apparently, the purse had been stolen from a car on Thanksgiving weekend. But the thief had only taken the $30 that was in the wallet’s main pocket, without noticing the $1,900 in the side pocket. Long story short, the police were able to track down the owner of the wallet. And, as a reward, she gave Edward one of the $100 bills. Edward used $60 of his reward money to buy a Carolina Panthers jersey. And, true to form, he gave the rest to his mother. (–Way to be, Edward. If only we all were a little more like you.)
SURVEY OF BLONDES
In a survey conducted earlier this week, 1,000 American blondes were asked if they would sleep with Tiger Woods and 89 per cent said: “never again”. ….
JESSICA SIMPSON HAS ANOTHER “DUH” MOMENT!
JESSICA SIMPSON may want to take a few Sundays off from NASCAR and learn some culture. Bystanders tell the NY Post’s Page Six gossip column the dizzy blonde headed to Broadway to check out her baby sister, ASHLEE, perform in “Chicago,” but didn’t quite get that she wasn’t at a movie theater. Jess made a few jaws drop when she requested a bucket of popcorn to watch the show!
ELIN NORDEGREN IS 100% LEAVING TIGER . . . ALLEGEDLY:
The gossip media is sticking to its story that ELIN NORDEGREN is divorcing TIGER WOODS. A so-called “source” told ABC News that, quote, “A divorce is 100% on.” But it may not happen anytime soon. The source says, quote, “She’s going to take her sweet time. She wants all the dirty laundry to be out on the table before she signs anything.” Tiger and Elin are still getting therapy . . . but the source says that the sessions just amount to Tiger, quote, “apologizing over and over again.”
ARE THE SUITS AT NBC LOOKING TO REPLACE CONAN O’BRIEN ON “THE TONIGHT SHOW?”
A PopEater.com columnist claims that unnamed “TV executives” told him that NBC is looking to replace CONAN O’BRIEN on “The Tonight Show” . . . and that the first name on their wish list is JERRY SEINFELD. (–Naturally.) Reps for both Conan and NBC have denied the report. (–Sure, they’d like to have Jerry . . . who wouldn’t . . . but this isn’t happening. The “Tonight Show” HAS sunk pretty low in the ratings, though. You have to wonder if they’re exploring their options.)
This week, Melanie Griffith was photographed with a black eye…and now we know what caused it: A surgical procedure to remove SKIN CANCER. Fortunately it sounds like everything is OK. Her rep says the cancer was in its early stages…and the procedure was done in time to prevent any further complications.
WILL ELIN NORDEGREN SPEND CHRISTMAS IN SWEDEN . . . WITHOUT TIGER???
Without actually knowing anything for certain, the gossip media seems to have come to the conclusion that ELIN NORDEGREN is leaving TIGER WOODS.
–“People” is reporting that Elin will spend the holidays with the kids in her home country of Sweden. But Tiger won’t be going.
–But she’s not leaving the states permanently. A so-called “source” says she plans to split time between both countries.
–Whatever happens, though, she’s definitely leaving Tiger. The source says, quote, “She’s made up her mind. There’s nothing to think about: he’s never going to change.”
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OPRAH TRIES TO GET KATE HUDSON TO TALK ABOUT A-ROD!
The cast of the movie “Nine” was on “Oprah” yesterday . . . and Oprah tried to bait KATE HUDSON into talking about ALEX RODRIGUEZ. She tried not to discuss it, but she ended up saying, quote, “I’m very happy . . . I’m joyful.” (Click here to watch the video . . .)
(–The interview was pretaped . . . and may have been conducted before Thanksgiving. So even if they’re broken up now . . . which we don’t know for sure . . . they were probably together when this was filmed.)
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SARAH JESSICA PARKER HAD HER MOLE REMOVED:
In case you haven’t noticed, SARAH JESSICA PARKER had that mole on her chin removed. (–Here are the before-and-after pics . . .)
–Sarah discussed her mole-ectomy on “The Late Show with David Letterman”. She said, quote, “I didn’t object to it. I just didn’t care for it.
–”And I had about six free days when I could be bloody and stabbed and no one will care and honestly I didn’t think a thing about it and then apparently it turned into mole-gate.”
A PHOTOGRAPHER WAS NEARLY CRUSHED TO DEATH BY AN OUT-OF-CONTROL RACECAR:
Andy Willsheer is a photographer from the UK. Recently, he was covering a drag racing competition at the Pomona Raceway in California, when a racecar hit an oil slick at 250 miles per hour and spun out of control.
–The car careened in Andy’s direction. But instead of running, Andy held his ground and kept snapping photos. Fortunately, the car just barely missed him, landing only a few feet from where Andy was standing.
–And not only did Andy manage to cheat death, he also walked away from the incident with some INSANE photos of the crash.
(–Take a look at Andy’s amazing crash photos here . . .)
A WOMAN FLASHED A DRIVER, WHO GOT DISTRACTED AND RAN HER OVER:
Ladies . . . there’s a time and a place for everything. Here’s what I mean . . .
–On September 27th, 18-year-old Cherelle Dudfield was doing some heavy drinking with her friends in Invercargill, New Zealand (–in the country’s southern tip).
–At some point, Cherelle got the bright idea to start flashing her breasts at passing cars.
–The only problem was that as Cherelle was showing the goods to oncoming traffic, a distracted driver lost control of his car and CRASHED INTO HER. (!!!)
–Cherelle was rushed to the hospital where she was treated for minor injuries and released.
–This week, Cherelle pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct. She was fined $200.
A NEW GAME JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS. . . SHOPLIFTING!!!
Milwaukee police have arrested a couple for shoplifting who said they did it just for thrills.
–It’s not like they couldn’t afford the merchandise: The husband alone makes over $150-thousand a year as a doctor.
–Police tell the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel that the couple went to the mall to buy Christmas gifts and then the 30-year-old wife suggested “they take what they wanted.” She didn’t think they’d be noticed with the store (Macy’s) being so crowded.
–Then they took turns in various departments, stuffing items in bags from other stores and in the stroller carrying their two young children. The 39-year-old husband likened the experience to “a game.”
(–Guess who lost.)
BLONDE’S PASSWORD
During a recent password audit, it was discovered that a blonde was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy
When asked why such a big password, she said, “DUH!! You people told me that it had to be at least 8 characters long!!!”
You may have heard TIGER WOODS’ high school girlfriend, DINA PARR, say that Tiger dumped her via HANDWRITTEN LETTER back when he was a freshman at Stanford University in 1995.
–Well, Dina shared the letter with E! News, and it’s pretty brutal. Tiger had it delivered to her after they’d spent what she thought was a great day together . . . during which he had invited her to watch him play a tournament at Stanford.
–The letter said, quote, “The reason for writing this letter is to inform you of my absolute anger and disappointment in you. Today I heard from my parents that you were telling everyone in the gallery who would listen that you were Tiger’s girlfriend.
–”Then you have the nerve to tell me in the clubhouse when a reporter asked you who you were, you respond with ‘just a friend.’
–”My parents . . . and myself, never want to talk or hear from you again. Reflecting back over this relationship, I feel used and manipulated by you and your family.
–”I hope the rest of your life runs well for you. I know this is sudden and a surprise but it is, in my opinion, much warranted.”
–Tiger also asked Dina to return a necklace he’d given her, and told her not to show up at the tournament because, quote, “you are just not welcomed.”
Every Wednesday at 8:40, Guardian Angel Pet Rescue joins the Mike and Mandy show to showcase a special animal that needs a good home.
This week’s featured pet is Minnie.
Minnie is a young, energetic female Miniature Pincher. She is potty trained (with a doggie door) and loves to go for walks at the park. Minnie NEVER meets a stranger and she’s the most loving dog her foster mom has ever met. She loves cuddling in the bed after a long day, but she also loves to play outside with a stuffed toy. Minnie is very smart and knows simple commands like sit and stay. She LOVES other animals and plays well with others! Minnie would do best in a home where she can be #1 and have LOTS of love and attention. She has not been around children much, but as sweet as she is, I’m sure she would love their company too! Minnie is heartworm free, spayed and ready for a home to call her own!
If you would like to adopt this week’s dog…please click here to fill out an electronic adoption form.
For more information on Guardian Angel Pet Rescue, please visit their website by clicking here.
